Be Excellent To Each Other

6 minutes in and better than episode one, so far.

"It's where the people who make anoraks go to buy their anoraks."

"It's uglier than a war wound."

Anyway. The new Subaru looks like one of those Vauxhall whatsits. Astras. Bleurgh.

So much wrong in one post...

Wordy as ever, duds.

That Merc was nice, and the Evo10 looked mad. The Scooby was ugly as sin, though, and the ski race was dull.
I think I perfered Ep1.

I thought ep 2 was better. Hammond is right about the Astons on the Cool Wall as well.

Ok, the Impreza. No.

To be fair it does look a touch iffy in pics (although I've no idea how you got "Astra") but it's superb in person and even nicer inside, my ex-housemate has one

The exterior front three quarters shot reminded me of a Vauxhall Astra or Corsa. Or some unholy mix of the two. Ugly as sin, mate.

Much prefer the 90s Scoobies.

Ep 2 went downhill towards the end. Lacked a silly group challenge.

Astra!

Thats what the Scooby reminded me of.

The stuntman challenge was much better this week. And Clarksons bit in the AMG Black, about the love of driving for drivings sake - that is something Fifth Gear could never do.

Fifth Gear spend all their time burning down Top Gear props, though.

However, what I will say for Fifth Gear is this:



Grrrrrrr.

I dunno. She tries way, way too hard.

I like that in a girl.
/schoolboy

Sabine Schmitz would kick her arse in every category you can think of.

She looks like Sally.



Particularly in arse-kicking.

Yes, and Sally was (and still is, according to you after seeing her photo on the Telegraph site) hot.


Face kicking, probably.

Star in a car was shit, as ever.

Cool wall was shit, as ever.

Imprezna and evo cars are still for 15 year old chavs, as ever.

That could be their ad campaign.

THE NEW UBERU IMPREZZIVE: Front of a Mk5 Astra, arse of an Mk3 Astra, not even half as cool as the bug-eyed Impreza you all hated.

Seriously, it's hideous. For all their claims that 'motorsport benefits' are behind this change, they've lost me. And ask anyone who knows me, and they'll tell you have I have loved and lusted after Imprezas for YEARS. But with this week's design revision, they've lost me, and I've run, crying, to the waiting arms of the Evo 10 (which, I must note, sensibly has a lot of the aggressive styling of Mitsubishi's own Galant, which was the most handsome medium-to-large four door car of recent years)

Tonight's episode was entertaining at best. Fastforwarded through the star(s) in the car bit, and chatted to the missus through much of the skiers vs Audi bit (apart from a few moments to ask why the hell anyone needs a 540bhp station wagon)

There's someone who doesn't need a 540bhp stationwagon?

A 572bhp stationwagon.

No they aren't, they're for fat, bald, forty year old 'property developers' who always wear sunglasses and have tribal tattoos.

God no. She's a fucking horror, whenever she does that awful squeal of delight I want to rip her stupid over-privileged throat out.

You classist.

I feel you are being over charitable when it comes to VBH. But if you wish to take one for the team, go for it.

I'd thought it was more like 580 from the Fifth Gear review, but didn't like to be too picky. Obviously, the extra 30bhp makes it even more one of life's essentials.

I also liked (and booed), from Fifth Gear, that Audi think this might be their last batshit-insane production car because of the incoming Euro4 and 5 emissions regs, which is why it's quite this batshit insane. Presumably it's also why Seat is doing the turbodiesel BTCC thing and there's a diesel R8 out soon (a V12 turbo that's still slower than the non-turbo V8 petrol - hmm).

£80-odd thousand sponds for an estate car, though. Jiminy.

Next it'll be Volvo jumping on the band wagon.

Talking of Volvo, why the recent change of symbol to the male gender sign? Are they suggesting all their drivers are cocks?

Volvo have done fast estates for ages.

I know, my Dad hasn't owned anythign else for years now. A constant succession of very nippy Volvo estates.

I used to love watching the British Touring Car chapionships for that very reason, Plissken!

The police use them, in fact, and I wouldn't want to race one.

There was an edition of Performance Bikes years ago, must be about 1996, IIRC, where they had an article called 'Speeding: Getting away with it'. They had a box, titled 'Know your enemy' with silhouttes of cars. The Volvo one just said, under it 'Don't even try' or somesuch.

I'd love one of those RS6's or anything like that. When it comes to fast cars, I like the stealth stuff. Plus I really like the idea of stiffing a 911, Coxster, Evo et al away from the lights while having a dog in the back.

It is also the symbol for Mars and iron, so maybe the link is there, somewhere?

Maybe Volvo think that only men should drive If it is a recent change it is a stupid one.

I'm amused that you can buy Subaru's in seven sisters, london.

Astronomy humour. Oh yeah. I so get that.

I assume the rear screen is specially reinforced to prevent 'dog no longer in back, dog bouncing noisily on the road behind' issues.

Meh. I'm not that attached to dogs. It would merely be a stunt dog for demonstration purposes. If it shat in the boot, I'd probably open the door anyway.

Volvo drivers* are lovely.

* - Well, at least one volvo driver is lovely.

...
Goodness.

Stanley Goodspeed as played by Nicholas Cage in The Rock.

I'm so sorry.

But we're going to be a childless couple, we've decided.

Or so you think.

Indeed. It was one of the Volvo drivers that pulled me over last night.

I love the implication that if it hadn't been, you'd have made that pig eat your dust, yo.

Word up man my ride is hella tyte.

Because that's about as far as he gets before spinning into a hedge.

The hedges spin into me!

Nah man I woz redlinin' it all the way, clart.