Be Excellent To Each Other

Still sorry to hear that, sir. Don't read the next bit.




Goose was fucking awesome, as was the rest of dinner. We're a bit behind schedule as we're only halfway through the second bottle of Champagne, but aiming to make up for it in the next hour before Doctor Who.

awww shit, Chris, sorry to hear that.



Sooooooooooooooo much turkey left over.

Ha!

We're having an ace time, actually - its like an episode of jericho. Without the hat.

Am I alone in finding this 'festive' comic to be a bit much?

Hah!

I have successfully cooked Fred, our 4.2kg turkey, along with stuffing, potatoes, parsnips, sprouts and sweet potatoes, together with giblet and neck-derived gravy. And then eviscerated Fred for curry and stew later.

Chef Perkies has had enough for one day.

Radio controlled helicopter flights in MaliTowers are suspended until I can explain why most of candles are on the floor without using the word 'trim'.

Heh! Iove you.

Hardy little buggars, aren't they? Hope your family had a good day in the end, sir.

I'm going to see if I can precision crash the chopper in to the picture if the in laws by the tv for added danger next time MrsA goes away.

Helicopter Vs Robot Hamster!

Who will win?

The hamster starts by the frying pan and the helicopter takes off five seconds afterwards. From the frying pan. Can the robot hamster get to the safety of the sofas before Kilgore helicopter deaths it? Bonus point for landing the helicopter in the frying pan again.

I play this game in preference to CoDBlops.

Dunno if I can be arsed to cook. Maybe I can survive on the cajun chicken I made the other day until the shops open again and I can buy some bacon.

So far, today has been pleasingly free of any nonsense, not least because everyone who might normally get on my nerves is away and/or too ill to be a passive-aggressive cock.

Excellent.

All went according to plan, spent a lot of time telling children they could not actually play with many of the toys at grandmas. The camera, and fur real parrot were a huge success. Both the kitty and said bird are so bloody realistic that I fear they will rise up and kill me in my sleep.

Highlights:
1. The kill all humans code worked a treat as dad was in on it and scared the living shit out of The Girl by going "RARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" and chasing her. (she ran away screaming and laughing)

2. The parrot has a remote control button that amongst other things makes it lift it's tail make a very lout farting sound and then goes "excuse me". The girl found this out when only she and I were in the room, she then showed a magnificent level of patience and greafing potential for her (6) years and bade her time and waited and waited, until finally several hours later my mother had sat down right next to it with a glass of wine. Mum take's swig, the girl hits button, wine goes out of nose and mother nearly suffocates laughing.

3.The family quiz crackers I brought, contained an actual family quiz - my dad absolutely adores this sort of thing (and cracker jokes) and he had a whale of a time putting my mother and I on different teams and constantly "forgetting" what her team's score was. This was my dad's best Christmas dinner ever.

4. Having to explain to my 82 year old Grandfather that "Fur real kitty lulu" was not, in fact, a real stuffed cat. The odd and actually sound logic in his head was that when my brother and I were young he and grandma used to bring us back stuffed marsupials from Australia because clearly all small children are into taxidermy. (swear to god this is true) this resulted in the wonderful line (to be read in a thick yorkshire accent) "It were fine when we brought you back t' koala because thee'r pests, but cats are pets 'n that's just not right for kiddies Helen"

Decca, that all sounds awesome.

Kilo One is lost, presumed crashed. It's last known position was somewhere near the poinsettia, as that is where I found the rail rotor. Other pieces of wreckage indicate possible crash site in lower branches of Christmas Tree. Search and rescue hindered by local hostile actions. Stay strong Kilo One, survive until daybreak. MaliA leaves nobody behind.

So then, tonight is the first night Zioette has stayed over at mine. Getting her to bed was traumatic enough: attempt one ended in Zioette watching Bolt with daddy on the sofa. Attempt two therefore occured some two hours after her proper bedtime and still required daddy sitting on the floor next to the cot while she drifted off, but she's out for the count now, bless her. I have therefore retired to bed myself as I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she wakes.

Been a mixed bag today. Started out rubbish, but got incredibly awesome when I picked Zioette up from her mum.

For the first time ever, I had bird in a bird in a bird. It was quite nice.

I'm drinking rum laced ale whilst the mechanical hamster runs about in a plastic ball. And yet I wait until my helicopter recharges to buzz it. I truly have died and gone to heaven.


Best. Day. Ever.

I've spent most of the day playing board games with my family & the evening playing more games with Gill & her family. I do the same or similar most years, but this has still been a right good Christmas

I has been playing with my new camera and trying to persuade my son to actually go to bed (and stay there), as he's totally wired by the three thousand new toys he's got and wants to take them all to bed with him.

Have you been strafing the dalek too?

Good idea!

Still no fucking power. This is ridiculous.

I am secretly disappointed that it didn't decode to 'Hello Sweetie'

I spent the whole day laying on the sofa, unable to breathe and in pain. I felt bad for Craig as it wasn't very Christmassy. However, we pulled a Christmas cracker each, opened our gifts (I got a cutter to cut my toast into dinosaur shapes, also a sock knitting book) and our Secret Santa gifts, which were ace! (but I shall pot about them in the appropriate thread).

Wish I'd been able to enjoy it a bit more. Had originally planned a bit of rock band, but as it was I was too achey to even reach my arm over to play monopoly

Laying on sofa now, hoping to get better soon.

Yeah, it is. Have they given you a reason?

COUNTDOWNS.

In Laws leave : 155 minutes
Acquire cigarettes from petrol station 160 minutes.

Moonsand has been declared the "best thing ever", I will reserve judgement till I fine out how easy it is to get out of carpet.

I've got some of that, and it's ace. I was having a bit of a glum period a while back, so Miss Malabar picked up a load of toys for me.

Her: “I need some fun toys to cheer someone up.”
Assistant: “Okay. How old are they?”
Her: “25”
Assistant: “…”

The wife has turned bbc1 on while my back was turned and something called enchanted on. She is now employing my own three minute rule and refusing to turn it off. Fuckshits.

Christmas dinner part 2 was a resounding success. Turkey, (goose fat) roasted potatoes, carrots, pigs in blankets, roasted parsnips were all done at the same time. It was also declared "better than grandma's"

I've just bought myself a crock pot. Anyone know any decent recipes? I'm gonna look through BeEx Cookbook later but I imagine most of that isn't crock-pot friendly?

There's plenty of stuff in that thread. You owe it to yourself to make pulled pork.

That sounds like a euphemism for masturbation. I'm going to try my best not to let that get in the way of me giving it a try.

Family are around except for grandma who is in Holland with her family and my cousin Jody who's mum drives him up the wall. Had some delicious food prepared by mum and dad (Malaysian chicken and specially stewed cabbage and rice, yum) and a few beers but having to have some time out now from the packed front room that's become incredibly hot and is beginning to be inflicted by the patterns of conversation amongst family that become faintly unbearable. I love them all, but cripes...

So twenty minutes reading Beex and I'll be well prepared to face it again. Phew. There was a welcome break from Christmas songs for Gilbert & Sullivan's Mikado though, which was nice. "Three little maids are we... THREE LITTLE MAIDS - ARE WE!" ("Where!?" - MaliA)

Zioette slept all night and woke up bang on 7am this morning, perfect! I think she was a bit freaked out waking up somewhere that wasn't her bedroom and seemed incredibly pleased to see me when I got her out of her cot. We then spent the rest of the day playing with her new toys before I took her back home to her mummy at 4pm.

Taking her back was hard and I'm really, really missing her now! She's been lovely all weekend.

You're a good man, Zio, and a good father.

I'm 13 stone. Fuck.

So, we have new neighbours living in the council house next door and they've gone out and left their dog in the freezing cold side of their house which joins ours.

It's been whining and crying for about an hour now. I'm not a dog lover, but listening to it is unbearable!

rspca

I've recorded him through my garage just in case... he's still going.

I've got the number for the RSPCA on hand. I want to go to bed but I won't be able to with it barking and crying.

Does anybody know what Peter Serafinowicz has apparently Tweeted, deleted, and is now shitting himself about?

Nothing apparently. There is no deleted obscene joke, but he's trying to see if he can get in the papers with the 'scandal' created.

I haven't read the tweet, but apparently it was about Joanna Yeates' parents and something about Boxing Day (perhaps a "joke" about a coffin?).

Aw, that's very kind of you Mali!

Been a good Christmas though. Zioette is such an amazing little girl and is always making me smile with all the little things she does. She spent a good half hour earlier today pacing round the flat with our cordless phone held against her ear (switched off, no one at the other end) saying "Hello?", "Heyya!" , "Yeah?", "Oh!", "A'right, bye then!". Where the hell she's got that from I don't know, since neither myself or her mum are particularly heavy phone users. Still, for an 18-month old, her speech is coming along okay!

She also got a bit carried away with the present opening. Once hers were all open, she helped herself to mine, then opened one of my brother's for him.

It's a bit transparent since the first people he retweeted being 'disgusted' are fictitious.

knock on the door, it is possible that it escaped or they just plane forget the dog was outside and can't hear it (loud TV or headphones) to avoid confrontation just say "I think your dog escaped". Council house does not automatically = potential axe murderer

I don't think any dog owner can honestly say hand on heart they have ever not said "Oh shit! The dog!" "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry good dog gooood dog"

Ahh, maybe it was a meta-joke to generate some publicity, then.

Just watched my first Wallander on Beeb 4, one with Rolf Lassgård as the dour faced dude in question. I thought it tremendous stuff, if slightly implausible. Beautifully shot, great acting and a slow-burning yet charismatic lead. Felt a bit upset when one of the minor characters died too, which almost never happens to me. Yes, I'd like to watch more of this.

That Svedburg looked a bit like Mark Heap though, which was a bit odd.

Hope the dog problem gets cleared up nicely, TheVision. Good advice from Decca there, I'd go with that. Unless of course you somehow get murdered by an axe, in which case, Decca - what were you thinking?

He's like a modern day Orson Welles...