Be Excellent To Each Other

From the 20th-ish I'll be living in Hull by myself for a couple of months, Newland area. I'm aware of at least one person living in Hull but can't remember their name as Meaty told me when I was drunk but I've a car and am looking for occasional stuff to do in the area (since leaving Hull four years ago just about everyone from there I know has moved to Wakefield, oddly). I like real ales, kites, redheads and currently have a burning desire to get back into making plinky bleepy shit on fruityloops.

Now, My missus is staying on down in Wales to finish a contract and I'll not be getting a job until at least September so ideally I'm looking for anyone willing to buy me a pint then let me shag their missus, but if that's not a goer we could just buy our own beer and I'll find some porn on the internet when I get home.

So, ARE YOU LOCAL?

Also, do you want a fridge?

That would be me then. I don't live in Hull any more but did used to live off Newland Ave - saw me plenty of Beautiful South down Beverley road so I did. I live in Brough now over to the West - about 15 minutes out from Hull.

I like Pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

I also have a vast collection of pornography and a wife with big tits. You are welcome to the former and a sly look at the latter.

I'll PM you my details for when you get over here.

I'm an hour away from Kingston Upon Hull by train.

Mini Meet ahoy.

Please note I am now too old for Spiders - my fucking niece goes in there now for fuck's sake.

My wife used to run one of the bars in Spiders. I'm more of an Adelphi bloke.

Had mates in Elloughton for a while but I've never checked Brough out.

Cheers for the PM, there shall be ales.

I am an hour and a half away but sometimes work there and can get the company to pay for overnight stays. This offer obviously is only valid for the next six weeks or so.

OK, Hull mini-meet in the next four to six weeks then?

Pints in the Old Town then onto a seedy live music dive for tunes and the lock-in?

That sounds like a fine plan. As long as I'm home for 8:00pm for my Ovaltine and Heartbeat.

You sure you want to come back to the area?

Absolutely positive?

While bizarre, I don't see how that's a crime.

Quite. I also like the phrase 'partially unclothed' man. Assuming your tackle's covered, surely you can spend your entire life wearing just a mankini, if you wish to? Might not help you get a table at Le Gavroche, but it's not against the law, surely?

It can still be a sexual offence if you're making the ladies uncomfortable for sexual purposes, I think.

Someone has looked close enough to find out that it's a home made mankini. The dirty bitch.

Heh, last time I moved there some guy had just been seen from a strain fucking a goat in a field.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... 145635.ece

Does that include anal?

I never said that I wanted to meet up with any of you freaks!

Did he have a bonk on?

Me = Hull

Stuff to be moved on: Fridge, washing machine, 3/4 bed, a couple o' strimmers.

Stuff to do: have that pub meet at some point. When it happens, it should happen here:

http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/ ... n_Inn/Hull

Quiz is wednesdays, groups under 6 get a points bonus. Happy to go other nights though.

When is this?

I'm glad someone resurrected this as I was slightly discombobulated about believing GY was living nr the 'bran.

888 Bananas

Is that the longest gap between post and banana awardation?

No, there are posts from years ago that still haven't had any banana awards...

I love that his reaction to being caught is merely one of amiable embarrassment, as though he's been walking around with his fly unzipped, and not, y'know, raping a fucking goat.

TBF, the goat wouldn't be fucking if he wasn't raping it.

Too easy.

Left Tredunnock in July.

No shit. Even I could work that one out. Why?

1: They were knocking our house down

2: No houses in the area were any good for rent

3: Moving back to Newport or Cardiff would have involved renting for £hundreds a month a house worse than we had sitting decorated and empty in Hull

4: General cost of living in Wales is stupidly expensive. You can get a 14" spicy stuffed crust meat feast behemoth pizza in Hull for the price of a 9" cheese and tomato in Wales.

5: My job was shit and I was going to quit even if we stayed down there

6: My wife's job was 4 years old and getting older, she wanted a new challenge too

7: "The Welsh are so damn Welsh that it looks like affectation" - Sir Alexander Raleigh.

Thanks

I just didn't know any of that. Consider me happily informed.

Heh - I hear that's going to be the new cost of living benchmark.

Well they often use milk or whatever, but who gets excited by milk? You just buy it and fuck off home. It's like Rizla. No idea how much a pack costs, been buying them for years.

Pizza though, proper British wrong greasy pizza from a pizza takeaway... now there's something we can all get a conversation going about when we need to... and when we pay for it, we notice the price. It's a far better yardstick.

Why were they knocking your house down? Was it perilously undermined by water voles?

Every time he put his head out of the window people thought he was Rapunzel and kept trying to climb up. The council (provoked by Richard Littlejohn going on about "Elf and Safety") knocked it down to prevent PI claims.

The house stood on a couple or more acres of lovely land up behind Celtic Manor, and was due to be sold off in two plots for the building of a pair of yuppie mansions, netting the landowner mad buck$$$$. We got the chance to live there as a one-in-a-lifetime 12 month lease we haggled the landlord up to from the six months he wanted to rent it for. It wouldn't have been worth moving there for 6 months, as Metal Angel can confirm.

I used to always feel cheated if you didn't get x amount of packs for 50p or a pound but you're right, I didn't actually know how much a pack was. Does anyone ever buy just one pack of Rizla?!