Be Excellent To Each Other

Have you herd of #question" class="postlink">Clearplay?

Someone just posted about this DVD player, saying:

Now, I find this idea utterly preposterous, but it also makes me a tiny bit angry. I guess it is the choice of the individuals as to what they are censoring out, which is better than a higher authority telling the people what parts of an artistic work they are and are not allowed to see/read/hear, but by filtering out all scenes of a sexual nature, those which contain swearing, nudity etc many films are going to end up so very different from the director/producers vision and final cut that it will give a totally distorted view of the work. Will it even make sense?

Anyway, just thought folks here would be interested in this latest innovation.

The list of films they have is a bit odd - why would you want to watch a U version of Terminator or Leaving Las Vegas? You'd end up watching a film about 15 mins long.

If you do put in Terminator it changes it so that a sour faced robot is trying to give a lady some ice cream. The last scene where he's crawling through the duct with a 99 in his hand is heart wrenching.

And then there's The Shining.

Ridiculous concept.

Taking it to a more general level, protecting people from something by not letting them have access to it makes you ill informed about it when you first experience it, and makes it more tempting as it is a forbidden lure.

I'm thinking specifically sex education and the like, but this can be applied to all the above concepts.

Education is key, not hiding stuff away.

If you pour pepsi all over your Clearplay player, would it work backwards?

Saw I and II are in there too.

I like those versions! Two men are trapped in a room for 5 minutes before they have a bath and find some ice cream.

I would love to see Saving Private Ryan after this. Old man visits cemetary; falls over and cries. Running time 47 seconds.

FTFY

As I'm not clicking one link, I wonder how it filters this stuff. Does the DVD tell the player a rude bit is approaching? Does it know the difference between 'fuck' and 'duck'? Or whether people are brawling or just playing? Etc.

I bet my wrestling DVD's would be great in it.

Let's confuse it by playing hardcore Welsh scat porn.

It's simple. But as it will take you far less effort and time to click the link than for me to re-type out all of the information...

It's OK Mimi, I'll handle this one..

It's simple. What happens when you order is that you get an real life man in a white coat who has a regular DVD player. He also has a clipboard.

He will sit with you every time you watch a DVD and when it's finished, ask questions. Things like "What did you find offensive in that DVD" and "What didn't you find offensive in that DVD". His notes will be thorough and quite invasive so be prepared for this.

After 14 years of building up a profile.. An man has a pretty good guide to what you do and don't find offensive. He then returns to the office, programs a clearplay DVD player specifically for you and then sends it in the post.

You should allow 28 days for delivery.

I think their target market is conservative Christians or other hyper God fearing lots based on the customer quotes.
As such, normal people need not worry about this.

It's not worry (I don't think anyone will force their way into the flat and install one without me noticing) but it's still stupid and annoys me slightly. As it says on the website - now you can watch all those classic movies without all the 'junk'. Imagine, I don't know, The Wicker Man being edited by this machine of all the 'junk'. You filter out half those scenes and it is a completely different film - the 'junk' is part of what tells the story and makes it a piece of art.

Anyway, grumblegrumble, the concept just annoys me. Plus the superiority with which the users that have on on Rav clearly feel at never having seen a naked breast or seen a cigarette on the screen.

I wonder what happens when these people go to an art gallery? Do they divert their eyes from all the classical sculptures and oil paintings of cherubs and angels?

I agree that people are welcome to do this, but it seems utterly daft. If you don't want to have to watch films with adult themes in, then don't buy or rent those films. Don't give money to the producers of these films you disagree with, and then watch bowdlerized, neutered versions of them.

Can it replay that awesome family friendly TV-edit of Robocop?

FORGET YOU! Melon farmer! etc

the edited version of Repo Man is basically as good as the unedited version. Alex Cox did the editing himself.

also, I think Dimrill now owns a license to print bananas.

I hate (I know it's a strong word, but I really do mean it) censorship in nearly all forms (I think young children's parents should be allowed to choose what their offspring watch), if someone has created something you should either enjoy their creation fully, or not at all.

I'm also not keen on radio edits You're so Fucking Special --> You're so very special; Don't marry her, Fuck me --> Don't marry her have me etc, and I really hate it when the blank over the word, seriously, do you think this works? all it does is draw attention to the word, and kids will just go and look it up and find out the word anyway, however, these kids almost certainly hear worse in the playground anyway.

So yeah, let the adult decide themselves if they want to hear/see something, no one else should be allowed to make the decision for me.

Malc