Be Excellent To Each Other

Derron Brown would be proud of how the DSG group make their customers buy stuff:

http://www.bitterwallet.com/the-fives-how-dsgi-stores-convert-their-customers/7133

Yes the link is old but makes you feel slightly less bad about being rude to them. Although ironically when I tried to buy a TV last year, I couldn't get help in Currys or PC World for the life of me (I wanted to check out what ports each model had at the back).

Well, I guess this serves people right for buying from PC World. Anyone who goes in there and allows themselves to be manipulated into buying an extended warranty, deserves everything they get.

Depends, back in the day, Dixons used to base their bonuses on after-sales sales, so people were desperate to sell you warranties. as such, you could really haggle with them. I bought a portable minidisc player for £120, got a 3 year warranty for £25. Given I was a student and knew I would break the thing in 3 years, and the warranty covered everything, I thought this a decent thing to do, but I haggled a bit and got £20 quids worth of blank minidiscs and £10 worth of batteries. So effectively got the warranty for -£5. I also made full use of the warranty getting the MD player replaced 4 times in those 3 years.

Derren Brown.

Thank you.

If any sales person doesn't accept "No, I don't want any help, I'm perfectly competent, thanks" and still tries to talk to me, I walk out.

I used to be in sales and if someone said that to me, you'd better believe they were getting the shitty end of the service stick.

Sales people don't bother me too much. If they rely on commission to make up their pay, then I won't begrudge a few minutes of their time.

It's all a fucking pitch. It's a six lane road designed to cram you into the one way street and take your money.

Which is all railroading bollocks. Thus, when I go to these stores I immediately say "fuck off, I know what I am looking for" and then put my fingers in my ears and go "lalalalala" until I have found what I am looking for and paid for it.

The extra care program is a loud stern no and I will then leave. Some stores, however, are so aggressive I have left items on the checkout and just walked out.

Playing mind games over selling things is fucking bullshit IMO. I'm just wondering now if they are made to read from scripts that some supposed super duper clever cunt salesman has designed for his mere minions. And of course, if you don't read the script verbatim you end up out of a job. Even if the fucker that wrote it is a dumb illiterate cunt who can't spell.

There's nothing that irks me more in this world that people that think they are clever. It's all just so scripted and transparent.

Thank fuck I buy all my electrical goods on the internet.

And is why they come up with these hair brained bollocks schemes to try and force you into buying something. You see, smart little cunts who get a diploma in marketting and research need a job when they leave college.

What they don't understand (like Go compare insurance) is that they annoy people so much they end up losing sales.

Where has the philosophy of ' If a product is good it will sell itself' gone? And how many shit products have managed to do well because some snotty little underpaid PC world employee has earned his gold badge?

This is the thing man. That WHOLE area of marketting and sales are just a complete waste of money. I don't buy anything from PC world because it's mostly over priced garbage. And no cunt with a smart scripted pitch is going to convince me otherwise.

When I bought my 360 Slim at GAME on Friday the douche tried to sell me an extended year of warranty for £35. I said no, obviously. He said "but MS are only offering 1 year on this console", and I said jokingly "yeah, unless they all start blowing up again, LOL", and he said, "no, they've specifically said, whatever happens, they're only offering 1 year of warranty, ever, on this console", which was clearly an outright lie so I firmed up my no and actually got a little bit pissed off with the bloke. Why the lies?

Because they have been told to do whatever they have to do to con you into that extra warranty. Even if in most cases it is actually shorter or worse than the one you already have.

It's called snake oil man, something for nothing.

A Sony MiniDisc player by any chance? I went through around six in a similar period. Wound up finally getting a Panasonic one instead which still works, what, 10 years later today.

Having worked in Sales (I mentioned that, right) for a few of different companies (Dabs.com, Time/Tiny and Duty Free, but never DSG) I can honestly say that I was never given a script to learn or bullshit to spout.

At Time we were expected to big up the cover plan as our commission was based on it, but it was an easy sale to the type of person who bought PCs from Time. Also, Time computers were rickety shitboxes so really needed extended warranties.

Dabs was awesome though. All we were expected to do was say hello to people if they walked past us in the shop and be available if anyone wanted us. Commission was done on team totals so we were happy to help each other out with technicalities and product details. It was a great place to work. Sadly, it was at Liverpool Airport, after security and there wasn't enough footfall through the doors to stay open. *sighs*

Give it time Dave, give it time. The American way will soon be upon us.

They lose your sale, but I can almost guarantee they'll be making more overall.

The GoCompare adverts have certainly driven away any prospect of my custom for them, but I've little doubt it's increased revenue for them overall by a fairly large margin. Remember their old adverts? Vaguely, yeah. You'll remember this for years, as will everyone else, and all they need is a seed planted in enough people's heads to make them think ‘I'll just check GoCompare while I'm at it.’

I use them. It's an alternative to confused.com and the adverts cemented the 'site into my brain.

So it worked.

I shall never forget the time when, on around day 3 or 4 of my first retail job as a sales assistant in a branch of GAME, I approached an older gentleman, said "Hello", asked if I could help and then watched as he faced me and barked in my face "WHY CAN'T YOU CUNTS FUCK OFF AND LEAVE PEOPLE IN PEACE?" before turning around and marching out of the store. Happy days.

That was the first incident, but definitely not the last.

The only thing that gets my back up when out shopping is over persistence. When I get approached in a shop and offered assistance, I'll usually just politely say "no thanks, just having a browse." If they persist, I'll tell them "thanks, but I'm not interested." Very few people will persist once they know the customer really doesn't want to know. And if they do, by all means walk out (I certainly have in some shops in the past). But I don't see any reason to be unnessecarily rude and aggressive to people just trying to do a job. And usually it's the 'rude cunt' type that then gets the arse if they walk into a shop, genuinely need assistance with something but find there's no one there to help them.

I thought of you on Saturday when I was in game and the manager was refusing to sell some game or other to some lads as they had no ID to prove that they were over 12 or something. The intercourse took about five minutes with the manager patiently explaining to them that he "wasn't the police and as such doesn't make the rules so ask them about it" repeatedly. Fuck knows how you survived, dude!

The two girls serving at the counter were dead fit, so I wore my Bruge PacMan Tshirt in the next day to make them FANCY ME EVEN MORE when I was purchasing my £4.99 second hand bargains but they weren't working, that day, and I had the mother in law with me so COOLNESS REDUCED DOWN TO NEUTRAL, but yeah.

I've never been hassled in a shop further than the initial ‘Do you need any help?’ line, fortunately.

The only time I've been even remotely agitated was a couple of weeks ago buying some blank DVDs in Maplin. I took them to the till, the guy scanned them, then patronisingly said ‘You do know you need special pens to write on these, yeah?’, to which I couldn't help saying ‘Yeah, I don't care.’ before he offered to sell me DVD wallets. By all means try to help someone out, but don't be a dick about it.

Heh, I was still doing that job when GTA San Andreas came out. The fucking grief I got that day, including some when I advised a mother purchasing it that it might not be suitable for her son, who appeared to be no older than about 8.

What was worse though was a few days later when a woman phoned the store and immediately demanded to speak to the manager. She wanted to know who had sold a copy to her 12 year old boy. I asked her for some details from the receipt so I could check who had sold that copy, looked it up, then told her that I was deeply sorry, she could of course have a refund and I was ensure that the guilty staff member would be disciplined for this and retrained.

The guilty party was, of course, myself. Ooops!

My local Gamestation are really pushing the upsell at the counter at the moment.

I've picked up Crackdown 2 and Toy Story 3 in there recently (after getting them to price match Cex which can mean up to 100% extra on your trade in prices) and they've spammed me to fuck with special offers and tried to get me to buy the second hand version as "it's £5 cheaper". Aye that and your markup is stacks more on 2nd hand as well.

I wonder what they do when they're selling the project 10 dollar stuff or any other exclusive DLC?

Their purchase by GAME is really starting to show these days, isn't it?

Very much so.

Still typing GAME in upper case by reflex, I see. The brainwashing really stays with you

When I worked at GS, they were owned by Blockbuster. That was great, as it meant getting Blockie's staff benefits as well as the GS ones, so free rentals ahoy!

Whilst I moan about the grief, and believe me I dealt with some proper cunts in that job, I do miss it. If there were any money in it, I'd be opening an indie games shop tomorrow.

Yeah, but if thousands of them start dying like the first Xbox, I don't think they'll have much choice but to offer the extended warranty again. Also, this is all academic, because they're obviously pretty confident it won't happen again.

If it was two years of warranty for £35 I'd have taken it, but it seems a bit steep for one year.

It was just a year - take it back for a direct swap. I still have the leaflet in the box, I have 14 days to buy it apparently. I'm not buying it.

Are there any companies using the automatic shipping strategy here? would it even be legal?

And don't forget your cross sales.

When a friend worked in retail security he reckoned that if you're being OTT pestered* in a shop it's usually because they think you're a thief. So my advice is stop dressing like tinkers & have a wash you shifty buggers
*As opposed to the usual sales patter.

Outted.

Not pleasant, but I wonder how many shops he'd been in that day with, for example, Orange's 10 second rule where the mystery shopper gets you sacked if you don't greet and grill within ten seconds. I'll manage a couple of forced greetings before I get too freaked out and have to get the bus home these days, it really unsettles me. If I have to be shopping, with loads of stuff needed and can't wait for internet delivery, it's utter hell. Most people just press on doggedly until they pop, I'd imagine.

I'll always say 'just browsing' or equivalent but here's the thing - there is no rational need for it at all - I'm obviously browsing, evidenced by the game in my hand and you are obviously here to help if needed. Asking me if I 'need any help' like it's a tricky brastrap or an ikea flatpack instead of a fucking video game shop is just condescending bollocks at best and insultingly badly veiled salesmanship at worst, really. I've got a box here with all the specs on the back and the price on the front, in my other hand is a smartphone with metacritic on it and I'm twice your age and wearing a defender t-shirt. Of course I don't need any bloody help.

These threads remind me of the time I needed a £20 audigy from PC world and ended up with a sperm trying to bullshit me into getting a £100 thing by saying the £20 unit was no good for games despite it being better than the card which cost me £100 a couple of years previously and was very good indeed for games. In the end I asked him which one was better for Pro-Tools and sent him packing when his brain BSoD'd..

I tell you what though, the old Dabs thing of saying hi to any customer you pass seems totally reasonable. I find saying hi to staff in a shop first tends to throw them to such an extent you can't then ask a question when the rare need arises, but it's just bloody polite really. Instead we get nothing at all or too bloody much.

The worst place for people trying to push extra products onto you at the counter at the moment is the Post Office. If you go there to post a parcel you will be pushed credit cards, travel insurance, accounts, broadband, phonelines, everything. At our local main PO there are now three people that stand along the back wall like a trio of bouncers (one of them is Massive - I thought there had been some trouble) and they are there to take you aside and push you into various credit cards after you have refused the guy at the counter. meanwhile the queue is out the door because though posting your parcel may take 60 seconds the spiel about various card benefits and such goes on for at least an extra five minutes.

A salesman also followed me around Sainsburys the other day, trying to sell gas and electricity. He had a little lectern he was standing behind, offered a great deal blahdiblah and I said no thans and walked past on the way to teh next isle, at which point he started following me and calling out 'are you honestly going to tell me you are going to walk away from this amazing deal?!'

I've just remembered my crowning moment of awesome....

Walking past M&S in Liverpool, I reach the point where the dancing charity clipboard wavers usually stand. I was in an evil mood and not looking to be polite.

Sure enough, one of the jesters came bounding up to me: "Can I stop you for a second?"

Without breaking my stride, I say "Let's see, shall we"

After a few more steps I turn back and say "Nope"

Ah. I peaked early.

I hate the post office. They'll have a queue out of the door, 2 people on the tills, but they'll be someone selling insurance while another prowls the queue.

I also hope the guy who prowls the queue at the bank trying to make people use the cheque paying in machine THAT EATS YOUR CHEQUES, dies in a chemical fire.

I like that kind of courtesy. I was at Matalan recently standing in the cookery bit (was eyeing up some chef knives) when all of a sudden this pretty girl comes over and says "Hi, are you OK?"

I was miles away.. So I said "who are you?" she said "I work here.." god what a total I felt. She looked so embarassed, poor cow.

But yeah, then she said "Well if you need anything I will be over there >" (points to till area). Now that I can bloody well live with. There's helping you and then there's helping yourselves.

FUCK that reminds me of my time at PC world in Croydon once ! I decided I wanted an Imac DV carbon. Went in, got a trolley, put on on said trolley without asking for any help (even managed to dodge the fucking ferrets who worked there).

Got to the checkout and was fucking mobbed by four acne covered teenagers all fighting over who was going to get the fucking comission for the 'sale'.

Bah, you didn't even lead them on and get them frothing at the gash? I'm dissapointed in you Dave !

The local post office is, thankfully, brilliant as far as post offices go. There'll be the occasional queue, but you can guarantee it'll be simply because a lot of people have parcels to post.

Thy do offer insurance etc. but they're all relegated to small signs tacked onto the walls, and never even mentioned by the staff without enquiring.

Of couse, they do sell an awful lot of shite there, but they have a separate counter for that.

My local PO is excellent. Very friendly and have never tried to sell me anything.

Our local Post Office has its own problems (massive queues and two people serving), but I doubt they even know what insurance is yet, it's a proper little local one with old ladies and stuff. For some reason, they closed all of the other little local ones around here and left this one open, resulting in four or five Post Offices worth of custom in one that was already busy. Cunts. God help you if you need to post something on Car Tax Day*(TM).

*A four or five day period at the end of any month and the first day of the following month where idiots who haven't realised yet that you can do it online queue up to tax their cars, inevitably forgetting a vital document and holding everyone up even longer.

A guy in Currys once carried on trying to sell the extended warranty on a portable CD player to my step-dad, after he'd already refused and told them the (truthful) reason that it was a present for someone who had weeks left to live.

"Well maybe the person who gets it after your friend dies would appreciate the warranty..."

I guess a lot depends on the manager. The only time I ever had my staff out badgering customers was when we had an area or regional manager in - most of the time I'd just encourage my staff to be polite and look available to help people, not chatting amongst themselves in front of customers and the like. Getting that balance of being genuinely helpful and badgering customers can be a toughie as different people have different expectations when they're out shopping.

Aye, my local P.O. used to offer me stuff, but they know me now & stick to polite/friendly conversation and I'll ask if I need something. I had a right go at one of the relief managers for trying to get the wifey that was serving me to try & sell me [whatever product] instead letting us get on with our usual cheery conversation

Fucking souless weasels.

I've never had a problem in a game shop with someone keeping up the saleman routine after I've declined help.

My only real issues I can remember right now have been in phone shops and (bizarrely) a luggage shop.

Sir, are you sure you don't want the little Swiss Padlock? Are you sure?

Sir!

In our town, Phones4U was the store with the most alarmingly pushy reputation. I've no idea what it's like now, but whilst I was working a few doors down from them it was a simple fact that you'd never make it through the door without someone immediately pouncing on you, trying to sell you things. As a result, no-one I knew would ever even dream of going in there, you'd just go to one of the many other mobile phone shops around (albeit the O2 branch we were next door to were the exact opposite - you could be standing around in there for hours trying to get some attention). IIRC correctly, Phones4U had some bizarre rule that the store could not close until they had made their targets for the day - certainly there were many, many occasions in which I'd close my shop, cash up, tidy up and prepare things for the next day, set the alarm, lock up, leave and walk past a very much still open Phones4U.

In both Gamestation and Game, as I've been browsing the shelves, I've been asked a few times by other shoppers if I can help them with something. I have to point out that I don't work there.