Be Excellent To Each Other

Alpha Protocol is structurally flawed, but perhaps most damning -- considering the thing was apparently done six months ago -- it's a technical nightmare. Textures take forever to pop-in (and sometimes even pop back out!); enemies hover 10 feet above platforms; there are frequent, seemingly random load times that can range from 3 to 15 seconds, and even occur right in the middle of dialog. Trust me, I could go on.

As a reviewer, I can understand how a company can release a game with structural issues. Sometimes that stuff is just too deeply ingrained to fix, or maybe you really believe it's the right design choice. I'm going to call you out on that stuff, but there's a chance I'll be able to get past it. But to release a game that's just plain not finished and to expect people -- to expect your fans -- to pay the full $60 for it? That's where you lose me.

Like Worcester Sauce, Alpha Protocol's separate ingredients might be slightly unappetising, but they come together in a quietly effective manner. Unlike Worcester Sauce, it will certainly frustrate you more than it should, and in between the deathlike character models and bizarre misapplications of things like depth of field effects, it will struggle to convince you the team had enough time to finish it up.

But, if you're willing to put in the effort, it can steadily win you over. Obsidian can't really compete with the bigger boys in the RPG field, then, but it's carved out a little space to call its own. With ambition instead of budget, and integrity instead of polish, in the end the choice of whether to persevere or not is pretty easy to make.

It's disgusting that a game in this forsaken a state is asking for a single thin dime, let alone sixty bucks. Even if it was free I wouldn't recommend it. Alpha Protocol, to its slim credit, has its basis in noble and ambitious ideas, and those ideas are even well executed on the whole. However, while the ambitious stuff hits the mark, the bog standard gameplay has suffered beyond measure. You can build the most magnificent castle in the world, but if the foundations are made out of wet feces, everything's going to crumble and fall apart before your very eyes. Alpha Protocol is a castle that's collapsed in crap. Proof that even the most accomplished of visions are worthless if the fundamentals aren't in place.

It's disgusting that a game in this forsaken a state is asking for a single thin dime, let alone sixty bucks. Even if it was free I wouldn't recommend it. Alpha Protocol, to its slim credit, has its basis in noble and ambitious ideas, and those ideas are even well executed on the whole.

Destructoid? I won't be going there ever.

Man, I can't wait for Dead Rising 2, I hear it has chainsaws on stick.