The Sun's Headline Bank

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

It's well known that the Sun and pretty much any tabloid worth its salt has a "headline bank". This is something journalists will contribute to when they come up with a particularly witty headline despite the fact that there isn't a news story to put it with. The headline will be stored away and if an appropriate event ever occurs, they've got an instantly witty headline to run it with. So, I suggest we come up with some theoretical headlines for fun. :hat:

VOODOO CHILES - Adrian Chiles starts practising voodoo in an attempt to hurt Chris Evans.

COSH AND BECKS - David Beckham goes mental and beats the shit out of Posh with a baton.

Er, go!

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:49

CLEGG'S ELEVEN! Liberal Democrats to act as Kingmaker after hung parliament caused by Lib Dems winning 11 more seats than they thought they would.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:50

CLEGGS ELEVEN! Nick Clegg tell us who he would start in England's opening game of World Cup 2010

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:50

CLEGGS ELEVEN! Nick Clegg tell us his batting order for the opening day of the Ashes.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:51

CLEGGS ELEVEN! Nick Clegg becomes Chancellor of the Exchequer.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:52

CLEGGS ELEVEN! Nick Clegg tells us what it was like for him being 4018 days old.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:52

CLEGGS ELEVEN! Nick Clegg doesn't know how many people there are in a Rugby team.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:53

CLEGGS ELEVEN! (SNIP! That's enough now -Ed)

Mr Burrrrt · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:54

the Daily Mail have a program to write headlines for them (Apologies if ABD)

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 13:56

MaliA wrote:

CLEGGS ELEVEN!

IDGI.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

Anal Bead Damage?

The comments in their greasemonkey script still amuse me. http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/projects/daily_ ... ne.user.js

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49237

kalmar wrote:

MaliA wrote:

CLEGGS ELEVEN!

IDGI.

Assuming you're being serious, the bingo name for the number eleven is "Legs Eleven", because it looks very vaguely like a pair of legs.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:01

NUTS AND BOLTS Olympic sprinter's family flees the scene after a fracas outside a nightclub.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

MaliA wrote:

NUTS AND BOLTS Olympic sprinter's family flees the scene after a fracas outside a nightclub.

Haha!

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

hung*, drawn and quartered
the first ever 4 way tie for parliament between Labour, Tory, LD and xxx

*I know.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:15

Paddy Ash Down - Aer Lingus flights cancelled.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:21

WANK TANKS SPANK BANKS Investing in a firm from a small town in the south of Germany specialising in water containers provided a greater return than putting the money in a high interest account say analysts.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:23

Fee fie fo' fum Aggrieved busking cellist receives a fixed penalty notice

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:26

Zardoz wrote:

Paddy Ash Down - Aer Lingus flights cancelled.

Brilliant.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

ROBBIE BURNS A lucky escape from a hoosefire leaves Robbie Williams looking like Simon Weston.
McCANN CAN An anonymous tip-off leads Sun investigators to believe that wee Maddie may have been turned into dog food.
BATTER UP A baseball legend is murdered with a chip pan.
SHOW US YER SNATCH THATCH The former PM is seen falling pished out of a nightclub & a Sun photographer was around to stick a camera up her skirt.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:30

Beatle juice - Yoko Ono keeps Lennon's seed in a freezer

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:35

Craster wrote:

kalmar wrote:

MaliA wrote:

CLEGGS ELEVEN!

IDGI.

Assuming you're being serious, the bingo name for the number eleven is "Legs Eleven", because it looks very vaguely like a pair of legs.

Oh, I was thinking "oceans".

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

Fritz Hans Starts: German footballer Hans Bruder to make debut in World Cup.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:38

Thrust into Pole Position - Bronisław Komorowski becomes acting president of Poland after the country's elite are wiped out in a plane crash

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

Get this motherfucking quake of this motherfucking plane!

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

GERTCHA! - Chas and Dave imprisoned for being cockneys.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:44

Fogg on the Tyne - Fictional circumnavigator lands in Newcastle

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

facebook Plastic surgery appointments skyrocket after medical break through.

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

up the twitter popular website becomes most visited internet site.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 14:56

'Topiary of the Popes' - New ornamental Vatican shrubberies unveiled

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

Saucy Devil Heinz sold to Satan.

Wullie · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 6183

How now, Brown cow? Typically sensitive sun journalists want to know how Gordon's wife feels after he passes away.
Simon Cowl The A&R man and X-Factor dude finds Jesus & becomes a monk.
SHOCK HAWK COCK BLOCK Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk has a severe case of kidney stones & explodes while trying to urinate. His critics are quoted as saying "He was always full of pish anyway."
BRANSTON PICKLE The beardy weirdy balloon nut crashes somewhere in the Atlantic, again.
BONO ESTENTE! Bono buys up a load of land.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:05

Jobs for the bouys - Noted CEO buys new yacht

Jobs for the boys - Noted CEO's -['Snip!' - Legal ed]

devilman · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:10

No rest for the wikid - News of a spate of page vandalism at wikipedia

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:16

Sharpe's rifle - Explicit pictures of Sean Bean available on the web

devilman · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:21

Scooby Dooby Doo - Police find marijuana joints in the glove box of Atrocity's car when they pull him over when on his way to a party.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:40

Wayne Baboon-ey - Manchester United footballer adopts an ape

Top Gear - Richard Hammond arrested for selling marijuana

Cameron's Avatar Smashes World Record! - Tory leader's online image is viewed more than the current Prime Minister

A Stich in Tyne Saves Nine - German former Wimbledon champion rescues minibus passengers after it falls into a river in newcastle.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49237

Oh, good work on the last one.

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11864

The Loafers and the Fishes Hush Puppies transport ship sinks.

Kern · **Posted:** Mon Apr 19, 2010 15:56

The PHWOAR Horsemen - the harbingers of the Apocalypse show off their six-packs

Bear or Bust · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 16:46

Diversity ChallengeBNP forced to allow non white members into its party.
Far from the Madeleine Crowd The McCanns take a short break off from running their Find Maddie charity.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12329

I want more CLEGG'S ELEVEN headlines.

Trousers · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3073

COFFEY BREAK - Man goes near PC

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12329

In a similar vein then...

COFFEY SHOP - Man needs a new desk.

Trousers · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3073

TROUSERS DOWN - Man looks at DBSnappa's score on Geometry Wars 2
RICH AT GAY WOOD - Homosexual bankers find new meeting place

chinnyhill10 · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 15695

SUGAR'S SWEET SUCCESS

Kern · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 17:59

Jade the Obscure - How quickly fame passes

(inspired by Bear or Bust's one)

Malc74 · **Posted:** Tue Apr 20, 2010 22:07

Fry's Turkish Delight - Stephen Fry goes on holiday to Turkey and "has a jolly nice time, actually."

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12329

Malc74 wrote:

Fry's Turkish Delight - Stephen Fry goes on holiday to Turkey and "has a jolly nice time, actually."

Oh, that's one from Viz.

JohnCoffey · **Posted:** Wed Apr 21, 2010 0:19

The Price is right -Someone's actually marrying the cunt.

Be Excellent To Each Other

The Sun's Headline Bank
A fun game for all

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Be Excellent To Each Other

The Sun's Headline Bank A fun game for all

Who is online

The Sun's Headline Bank
A fun game for all