Be Excellent To Each Other

Staffordshire Police say:

And:

It's against the "rules" for Thatcham Cat. 1, that's why. If your car has remote start then the alarm can't be classed as Thatcham Cat. 1 (possibly excepted if remote start is a factory-fitted thing).

Also, don't open the door and lean in to start the engine if your girlfriend has a habit of leaving the car in gear and she was the last person to drive it.

We need a fist shaking dimlie.

That's a stupid law. Mechanics break it every day, and I can't remember the last time I used the handbrake in my Tomcat.

I just carry a flame thrower around, comes in handy in almost all circumstances, and covers me against zombie attack also.

Given how many police officers have been arresting people for taking photos and whatnot in breach of the law and ACPO guidelines, I'm not minded to take a copper's opinion on what the law is, as they're generally completely fucking wrong.

They will fine you £30 for using the ground as an ashtray, as my mate found out last night.

That's littering, though, which is indeed illegal. And evil and as bad as killing puppies and skullfucking them.

I pointed this out to two nice policeman standing guard outside Scotland Yard, after a plain-clothed chap had thrown his cigarette on the floor and walked into the building.
I was shouted at and told I was about to be arrested, so I picked it up again. Such a wuss

I hope you took his badge number and reported him.

I hate NSY. I have been there too often, and it's fucking disappointing inside.

I have done edited. And no, I didn't. He had a gun and I didn't

Judging by the over-use of smilies, I'm guessing he's still pointing it at you, isn't he.

No, but I cleverly missed out a key part of the story, which is that I pointed out the littering by throwing my copy of the Metro newspaper onto the floor next to the cigarette.

Ah. That was brave. If foolish.

As mentioned, my mind sometimes comes up with great ideas that, with a little more thought, aren't that great. Unfortunately, but the time I've given it a little more thought, I've already gone and done it.

Throwing the paper on the floor was followed by him saying "What are you doing?" and me saying "Well, I figured it must be a bin."

Grim... I could see me *thinking* of doing that , and probably in some way wishing i had but never actually going through with it all.

In other news - snow forecast - country to grind to a halt tomorrow :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8416010.stm

Fantastic. I plan to sit at home and do very little.

I wish I didn't walk to work, I can't get caught in snow-related traffic delays and kept from getting there. And I get fucking cold.

Tomorrow shall be a work-from-home day, which generally involves me sitting around in dressing gown and pants and doing my work whilst simultaneously watching a Blu Ray. Tomorrow will be an excellent chance to get through my current Lovefilm rentals! If I get snowed in, of course.

You can fall over and break your hip, and be kept from getting there. And get cold.

I plan to drive to work without incident, and without remark upon the nature of any precipitation which may have occurred or be occurring.

MrsA is working from home tomorrow.

There goes my "Do the endurance races on Forza2" day.

I think we've all been in similar situations to this.. I feel your pain.

I had the day planned as well.

Have a few cups of tea whilst listening to "Today", have a shower, turn on Xbox, get first endurance race done. Have a cuppa and a wee, start on the second, have some lunch, go to shop, buy some beers and some crisps, watch MegaShark vs Giant Octopus whilst consuming beers, have a wee, do race number three, put dinner on.

Saturday morning, I'll construct my revision timetable.

Only two wees in a day? Your bladder must be epic.

It's almost like the Dilbert Principle when it comes to this.

But, yeah, I rarely urinate, unless I've been on the sauce.

It probably means my kidneys don't work anymore, or something.

Thinking about it, I rarely take on fluids during the day, and of an evening, I do end up drinking about 4 pints of squash if I'm not having booze.

I crashed in the snow tonight. I am much aggreived

No major damage to self, others or property, I hope?

I bottled it this morning and came to work in the wife's car.

As much fun as a rear wheel drive car can be in winter my memories of not being able to change lane at 30mph on a motorway in heavy snow without the rear end threatening to turn the car into a centrifuge means I now wuss out at the slightest hint of snow thank you very much.

I don't have to put anything in my car this winter, as I won't have one!

Why, are you living on the equator?

ISWYDT!

You really are a hero.

Wuss. I am now, for better or worse, in Oxford with only my M3 to get me home (shush trains). I haven't decided yet if I prefer to think of it being a bit skittish on the M40 at 100 last night as strong winds, the grit or ice. Or possibly a slow puncture.

A large number of car thefts in Toronto are reportedly due to people leaving their car running and running into Tim Horton's for their coffee and Maple Cream donut fix.

I have to SPLUH?!? twice at that - firstly because lots of Tim Horton's's have drive-throughs, and secondly because WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING THINKING LEAVING YOUR CAR RUNNING AND UNATTENDED??? Not least of all because leaving a car idling for more than three mins in Toronto is illegal.



No less than three people asked me if I'd come in on my bike today. And it got funnier each time, honest!

I do despair for my colleague who's been keeping his Pan European in the work lot, though (he's reluctant to move it to the indoor lot in central Cardiff until it gets 'really bad'). We have our lot salted by a guy on a quad bike who seems to use a fucking cannon as the whole area is absolutely covered in salt. Another colleague was delighted* to find his brand new Citroen coated in salt as a result of this salt-blasting. Quite rightly, unless he cleans it off he'll finish his shift and come out to fit four badly rotted alloy wheels and the remnants of his CD changer sitting in a pile of salty rust.

*except no, the other one. Horrified

Not sure how bad the damage is but noone hurt so thats the main thing.
the other car driver was remarkably nice about it too.

Seems that the weather has crashed at least 2 insurers systems though, as neither he or I can process claim yet.

gutted as this was my first real nice car

That sucks.

I just retrieved Coke and Sam Adams from the car. Thankfully, the beer hadn't frozen and exploded out of the bottles. I suspect it's done that supercooling thing where if I tried to pour it, it'd freeze on the way out. Luckily, I am working so will not be doing so.

@ArseSensor: http://www.accidentsketch.com/

I've got to drive to Blackburn tomorrow to get the car fixed, so hopefully the snow won't cause any problems on the way there or back.

While using de-icer this morning, with my hands getting burned by the ice cold can, I wondered why manufacturers don't put a pad of felt around the de-icer can to prevent this happening. I thought this was a really good idea all morning, until I got into the office and realised it was a terrible idea because most people would just wear gloves.

*snort*

Excellent.

I laughed this morning - after cussing the stupid fuckwitted selfish idiot for blocking the fucking road rather than being courteous and pulling into a gap like everybody else was, but then what did I expect from someone thick enough to drive their car with just a dinner plate sized circle of clear screen when the rest was covered in snow. I laughed when I realised it was a muslim woman in a burkha - maybe she's used to the restricted vision. Me? I thought it was dangerously stupid to be out driving on icy roads with only a 10" porthole to see through. Plus probably illegal.

I think it's the same rule as with cracks - the 'A-zone' has to be clear, which is pretty much the area covered by the driver's wiper blade.

Ooo driving in snow eh?

2nd Jan 2007 I was due to drive from Ohio to Maryland. It's about 650 miles and you go through West Virginia.

So I packed up the car on NYD and was all psyched up for the journey. That night around 10pm the snow began. Thing is I had promised to be out of there on that day so really could not get out of it. Someone had taken my room over and there was no space left.

In the end nerves got the better of me and I regrettably set out at 3am on the 2nd Jan. The snow in Ohio was pretty bad but the roads seemed OK.

About four hours in I got to West Virginia and heard a warning go out over the radio basically telling people not to drive, not to leave their houses ETC. Small towns were put under what they call a state of emergency and residents would face arrest if they drove. I was fucking bricking it now. It was too far to turn back (4 hours min and that was in good conditions) and I still had hundreds of miles to go. When I started into WV the snow got absolutely crazy. I could not see more than 10ft off the end of my bonnet and I could not get the car to do more than 15mph without losing traction and sliding. I drove in those conditions for about 6 hours in the end, the most terrifying experience of my life.

I finally reached a gas station in WV as I was about to cross into either PA or MD (can't remember where the hell it was now !) and I tried in vain to get my windshield wipers unstuck from the windscreen. I couldn't, and it was then I realised the pump had failed. Looked at the bottle of fluid I just got and it freezes at -65. Temps in the area were -25 so I guess with chill from the air being forced into my bonnet the temps dropped enough to freeze the fluid. Turns out the entire pump had frozen after I first suspected it being busted.

17 and a half hours later I finally made Maryland and got to a different weather zone lol. The aftermath. I will never, ever attempt to drive anywhere more than about a mile away in those conditions again. It fucking ruined my car I had to get it buffed and salt and shit were everywhere

End of an Era (AKA Ray Mears, Survival Specialist) to the rescue on two consecutive days!

Opposite my current employer is a a small 6-bay car park which slopes downwards. It's been completely snowed up since Monday, a veritable car trap.

Yesterday I watched from the window as some Mercedes driver futilely spun his rear wheels trying to escape - he'd clearly been to the school of impotent flooring, because he wasn't going anywhere but persisted with it. I watched as he tried to brush snow from under the tires, floor him self to a stand still, brush, floor, brush, floor while all the while his wife was offering him "sage" advice on flooring. After twenty minutes of watching this absurd pantomime I'd laughed the tears out and went to have a word. I advised him to shove his mats under the wheels and slowly reverse out. He wouldn't have a word of it, and did a bit more flooring - eventually I just told him to trust me because I'm some sort of survival specialist (I'm not) and so he then dutifully stuck his mats under the tires and slowly, very slowly, reversed out! Did I get a word of thanks? Did I bollocks, but the embarrassed look on being "unmanned" in front of his wife was worth it

Today same story - but this time a BMW and four blokes. I watched as the driver floored it whilst the other three pushed from the front. I watched as they cleared snow, floored and pushed. The clearing, flooring and pushing went on for a good ten minutes, so I thought I'd better have a word. With no women being around, they were sceptical that it would work but immediately put the mats under the rear wheels and slowly, very slowly, reversed out. There was much thumbs upping, slapping of shoulders and general blokey matiness after that.

Lessons learnt:
1) Mercs and Beemers are rubbish in snow and ice.
2) Ray Mears' advice actually works.
3) Showing some bloke up in front of his wife is a reward in itself.
4) In a crisis, people will accept claims of authority and expertise without asking for credentials.
5) I must be coming down with something - two good deeds in as many days? I don't usually perform two good deeds in a decade.

Wrong, they're brilliant.

If your destination is other side of the street, and you want to get there backwards.

Mine's especially good, with its cheap no-ice-or-snow-grip tyres on a 245 profile, wide enough to prevent any sort of crushing through the slippy stuff.

Good thread Grim... thanks.

I got locked out of my car last Thursday when the snow first hit, I walked back to the car park after work only to find the lock had frozen up, after five mins of jiggling I managed to free it, but then the car door was frozen shut, I tried to force it open, but just managed to rock the car. I was getting cold by this point so went to the shop to buy de icer, Netto didn't have any but thankfully Morrisons did, and the walk kept me warm. Just had to spray around the door and wait for it to work, I now carry some in my handbag just in case. Question: If I smear a thin layer of vasoline around the rubber seal might that help any?

Yesterday was fun, I'd just left a clients house (farm) and was nearly at the main road when the car decided it wasn't going to go anymore (I was at the crest of a hill and hadn't slowed down) because there was sheet ice there and I couldn't get any traction, a few attempts and backing up to get more traction and trying again hadn't helped so I tried to reverse back the way I had come, the ice wanted to take me into a hedge, luckily the brakes were helping (I was surprised they worked at all really because I couldn't get any grip on the ice). Of course being a single lane road, a delievery truck then turned up behind me and decided that there was no way he was going to make it up either! Then my client who's house I had just been too turned up in their Jeep and got the mother in law to come along in her tractor, we backed my car into a field he pulled the truck up the hill, but there were a hairy couple of seconds when neither the tractor nor the truck had traction either.

I turned and went back the other way, as another tractor came skidding around the corner (luckily we missed each other) and then on the way out a 4x4 came skidding around a blind bend towards me!

Scary morning, but funny too.

We're not going anywhere till boxing day now, but I aim to make sure the cars are both sorted today.

I assert that since it is in effect the same good deed performed twice, it only counts once for karma purposes.

-13.5 this morning. The loch has frozen over completely.

I told you the lochs had just frozen!