Be Excellent To Each Other

I just thought, perhaps I need to improve my computer skills. I only use the Internet browser, iPhoto and iTunes on my Mac, and not a clue how to use or do much else, like set up wifi. Is there any sort of skills I could learn with my computer, possibly any that might help with getting jobs, for example?

No mate, that's all a Mac does. You could try hacking it, I suppose.

I turn my brightness up high and use it as a light to read by

Honestly, I'm not sure there is much in the way of general "skills-improving" stuff that you can do, outside of the really basic "learn to write a letter" stuff. You might be better to come up with a goal, and then work towards that. Work out how to create a simple website and get it online, for example.

That might be a good one, actually. I'm sure it's achievable without spending much, if anything, too. The website idea, that is. I've no idea how actually go about doing it, but, hey, it can't be too tricky, can it?

Reason I asked about this is that I'm always getting asked for help with computers, being male and living with three females, and on reflection I know bugger-all of any real practical use, really. I'm barely above a beginner.

Buy a Mac Windows.

Do you know anybody who's upgrading their computer?

If you can get a hold of an old* computer or two, you can practise installing an OS and software, you can practise changing BIOS settings, switching drives around, installing drivers, etc. (*Any age'll do. You might find somebody who'll sell you 2002's hyper-super-computer for next to nothing.)

The problem is that any training or courses you do will still pretty much leave you knowing bugger all of any practical use, unfortunately. It tends to be the sort of thing where you learn by doing, and doing and doing and doing. If you've not got the time and inclination for that, I suspect you're likely to always be one who asks for help, rather than one who is asked.

A very good idea. Buy an old Windows-based PC or two, with differing versions of Windows, and perhaps even a networkable printer. Practice getting all these to talk to each other in different ways. And get them talking to your Mac as well. Craster is right, you learn by doing. I hardly knew anything when I moved in with Gaywood and Co., when I moved into my own house I already had a plan for setting everything up on one big network but even so learned a few more things as I went.

Don't waste money on an ECDL, before anyone here mentions it.

Agreed about ECDL. There are some City & Guilds PC maintenance courses you can do, though. They are actually rather good assuming they are taught properly. They are very practical, so the learn-by-doing thing applies, but only if you've not got the inclination to teach yourself, really. Nice to have a qualification in it, though.

But yeah, you can't really 'lean about computers' like you could in the olden days. You need to pick something to do and focus on it.

The web idea is excellent because it's really easy. Or if you're into games you could go down the brain melting route of looking into programming... that'd be something you'd need to dedicate an awful lot of time & patience to, though and would only be for hobby purposes, really.

Learn a programming language. Something like Python is excellent for both beginners and experts alike and your computer will suddenly become a far more useful tool.

If I can write an FPSMMORPG then anyone can.



Butr do also ask "What you wish to learn" and "Why do you want to learn this". Them's the important stuffs I guess. That and ordering a Megan Fox poster.

Get a Unix.

Try putting Richard Gaywoods face on a midget. Or Dimrills on a racist.

Learn all you like and have fun. BUT whatever you do, don't tell anyone you 'know about computers', else every house visit and social occasion will involve spyware removal and service pack downloads.

Seriously.

Fucking

That was my first year of university, that was. Fixing other cunt's computers, showing them how to find porn, explaining that pop-ups were bad, mmkay? And no, fixing a hot girl's printer does not in any way improve your chances.

You must have done it wrong

Well clearly - he forgot to put the "" around "fixing a hot girl's printer".

Scene:

A dorm room: A young woman in just underwear is struggling with her printer. There's a knock at the door. The woman opens the door to reveal:

Meaty: A tall, dark strangely-accented man with a handlebar moustache.

Meaty: (proudly) I've come to (air quotes) Fix your printer!

Woman: It's over there. Stop looking at my tits.

Lulz.

Did you "replace her toner", eh? eh?

No.

Did you fix her paper jam? Did you, eh? eh?

That is extremely close to the truth.

And I was, that woman...

Did you "Check her ink levels"? What about "Updating her to the newest drivers"? I bet you "tried to print out a test page" with her, you stud you.

I bet you removed all the jobs from the print queue, you dirty bast.

Did you take her cartridges out and shake them a bit?

Did you reinsert her duplexer module?

I bet you politely and courteously fixed her problem and made pleasant small talk, didn't you, you dirty bastard

Did you clog up her nozzles by using incompatible supplies?

Did you make sure to switch her power off before poking around the heating element with a screwdriver?

Did you flash her bios?

Adopt the break it and then fix it philosophy. For example install a copy of windows on a spare machine and don't install any updates, AV software, Malware removers etc.

Then, try and get it clean.. That's where I started many years ago.

She might have flashed something

When are you going to stop?

Nevaaarrrrr. I am a wealth of knowledge !

Did you ensure the new consumables were seated correctly with an audible click?

Did you check that her exit path was clear?

Did you turn her off, then on again?

Did you make sure to use only Perkies-branded Sexmoves^TM?

Did you try to force the IEC plug into her USB socket, and it wouldn't go?

Did you scrutinise her test print?

Did you prod randomly at buttons in the vain hope of getting some sort of response?

Aw, poor Squirt...

I love you guys, you know.

I tried to help Mrs Riles at the weekend help her parents get the wireless working on their brand-new Windows 7 computer, despite not even having Win7 myself yet. Turns out they didn't have a wireless card in it.

I've had that one at work before now. It was bloody excruciating trying to get them to understand why it didn't work and why I couldn't get it to work.

There's your problem. Take the DavPaz approach...

"I can't get the wireless network on my laptop"
"Use a cable. NEXT!"

I tried for ages to get a shitty little 3G card to work in the laptop a mate brought round, just so he could update his iPod's firmware. Looked in the device manager, and there was a wireless card in there, disabled, after him swearing there wasn't. Fucksake.

Err, sorry for the late response then, but this seems quite an interesting thing to attempt. Or at least ask about considering attempting. Is it viable though? Always seemed like some exhausting, Herculean undertaking to learn programming, when I used to gaze at the documentation supplied with my dad's Spectrum.

(Any courses/qualifications are probably out of the question incidentally, in fact are, due to the cost and time issues. Oh well.)

How Herculean it is really depends on how your brain works. If you're strong at maths, logic and that sort of thing, it's not that difficult.