Be Excellent To Each Other

It's the only way to be sure.

Hi5!

Seriously, they look like rather common-or-garden kittypiddlers to me. Cabbage White or some shit.

As long as they're not eating the chillis it's no biggie.

My strawberries were all eaten this year by some bug bastard.

Netting next year, and a tiny shot gun.

Dunno. I've got a load of chilli plants sat outside on the patio and they've attracted a few caterpillars and currently seem to be housing a small colony of baby snails, but other than a small bit of leaf damage they've done no real harm. Certainly, I've got more fecking chillis than I rightly know what to do with at the moment.



That's about an average harvest at the moment - getting that many every three or four days off about 15 plants, and they don't seem to be slowing down.

Nice batch.

Send them to me!

Or me.

You can pickle them. I have loads from a friend and they are lovely hot hot hot. I add to any dish that my other half doesn't want.

mmmm

That's what she said.

I've already made three bottles of chilli sauce, and I've got a bunch hanging on some thread drying. I'm going to maybe try smoking some, and I'll also be making some chilli jam. Other than that, I dunno, maybe I'll chop them up and rub them on my eyes or something.

Make little pixie hats for Myps, Doc & /\|ß1/\ø$|<1∂.

I have made chilli jam. First tasting from the pan before it's set? Fuck, that's a spicy little bitch.

Will post recipe when I have ascertained that it will actually set. Otherwise I'll post a recipe for sweet chilli chutney.

Note to self. 3Kg divided by 8 is not 40g.

Back in the pan!

Post the recipe anyway.

Rescued it, and it appears to have set.

12 chillis, halved, six of them deseeded
1 red pepper
2 cloves garlic
400g sugar (not 40g...)
1/2 pt water
50g liquid apple pectin extract

Halve the chillies, roughly chop the garlic and peppers, and fry in a little oil for 5 minutes to soften. Transfer to a blender and puree to a rough paste. Put into a pan with the water and sugar, bring to a rolling boil for 3 minutes, then lower to a simmer and leave for an hour and a half, stirring occasionally. Take off the heat, add the pectin extract, then leave to mostly cool. Transfer to jars.

Note that the peppers, chillis, and garlic came to 250g, so the rest of the ingredients are based on that amount of 'fruit'. Scale accordingly. Also, it's bastard hot, so you may wish to deseed a few more of the chillis.

I have all of those things here except pectin. Damn, I'd have made it right now if I had that spectacularly unlikely ingredient in my cupboard.

How hot is "bastard hot"? You were a wuss about that sauce in Greenwich.

That chilli sauce I made was about these quantities:

150g (three packs) of Asda's mixed red/green chillis
100g (two packs) of Asds's mixed red/green bird's eye chillis
Half a pint of distilled malt vinegar
Four (maybe?) cloves of garlic
Couple of tablespoons of tomato puree
Couple of teaspoons of sugar



I didn't deseed any of those chillis. It was pretty hot until I skimmed a little of the vinegar off. It looks like your chilli jam mix can't be as hot as that.

Bastard hot for a jam. Not bastard hot if it was a hot sauce.

Would you say it was tank fly boss wop?

I probably wouldn't.

Would you say:

Today's harvest was about 330g. Pretty decent haul. I've got about a kilo of chillis in the fridge, a couple of strings drying, and four bottles of hot sauce (chilli, garlic, salt and vinegar in not particularly well-defined quantities, boiled until soft and then blended) so far. Sweet chilli sauce is definitely next on the list.

In Crasters's defence, at least he tasted it. I didn't, as I am afeared of teh machine gun hiccups

The best bit was when Craster was trying to regain his breath (and control the hiccups) and I was chatting to the bloke about Scoville ratings. He explained that the sauce we'd just tasted was 975,000 Scovilles and if it was any hotter (over a million) then you could only sell it as a "food additive" and not describe it as a "sauce". Wheezing, red faced, Craster interrupted and blurted out "I should bloody well hope not!"

Oddly, no chillis have plopped through my letterbox yet.

I've decided I want to make some chilli oils after Pizza Express on Saturday. I decide this ever time I eat at Pizza Express, and drench the pizza in theirs, because their hottest pizzas aren't hot enough.

I've remembered that I have some dried chillis, though. I think a naga + chipotle and plain naga might be on the cards. Possibly with some of the dried crushed habaneros I've had for ages and not used.

I need bottles and pouring jobbies.

Yeah, I had a bit of a bottling issue. Like, I made about half a litre of fuck-you-backwards-with-a-broom hot chillis sauce, and then realised I had no bottles. I'm sorry to whoever bought us the novelty oil and vinegar gift set for Christmas about three years ago, but I needed the bottles and hell, if we hadn't used them up until now, it's not likely we're going to any time in the future.

For every address posted here, I will place a chilli in an envelope and mail it to you. I make no guarantees about the condition in which it will arrive after being subject to the vagaries of the royal mail.

Last night I was made aware of its majesty.

I tried Montezuma's chilli & lime last night. Too much lime & I'd probably like it better as a dark chocolate than milk.

Made some thai red curry paste with our chilli surplus last night - basically, you just whack a fuckton of chillis in a blender with a bit of onion, ginger, garlic, lime, coriander, a splash of fish sauce and a few spices, and then taste it and spend the next half hour trying to stop crying. Awesome.

The Lindt Chili Chocolate is dark. It's bloody lovely, I had to stop myself from eating the whole bar in one go.

No lemongrass?

Also, I just herniated my bollocks in a desperate bid to suppress guffawing. Thanks!

Fish sauce is awesome.

GU4

I mean it though. I always double up on the amount when making Red Thai Curry.

Spunkjizzmanfatpearljambabygravygentlemansrelishfilthyyoghurtmuckycustard.

No, because despite Cambridge being the single most upper-middle class place in the known Universe, there's nowhere that sells lemongrass in the city centre, and Mill Road is a smidgen too far for me to pop over to at lunchtime...

I can't get fresh lemongrass around here, only the shit dried stuff in a jar that has 1/4 of the flavor.

Can't you substitute Jif Lemon. And some grass. ?

I've been using piss and nettles, I'll give that a try.

Almost forgot because I was without a pooter for a week. I finally found Jalepenos at Tesco for 50p for 6.

Brought 2 bags and made many poppers and sat and stuffed the lot. Used light Philadelphia and breadcrumbs and baked them.

The very fact I ate them all should describe how nice they were but holy moley I paid the price. My stomach and intestines were burning all night (very uncomfortable) and going to number twos the next day made me wish I hadn't.

I'd happily do it all over again though, they were fucking lovely.

Never made those, JC. So I take it you just cut the tops off, deseed them, fill them with cheese and coat in egg/breadcrumbs?

Indeed. You can fry them if you want to (you're supposed to).

Couple of tips. Make sure they're fully deseeded and pulped (the white stuff). These are the hottest parts of the pepper and don't digest properly. So your ring of fire will be ten times worse if you have any left in.

Don't pee until you have washed your hands afterwards about ten times. I won't go into detail so I'll just say it stings and leave it there.

I've never had jalepenos that hot before, those sound a bit vicious..

I'm familiar with wrong handling of chillis

Like you say, you don't see whole Jalepenos often, I might throw caution to the wind and use Bullet Chillis (similar size & shape but I reckon they'd be a touch hotter).

They're not that hot.. well, sorta. They're a hot pepper. They're not as hot as a Habanero or scotch bonnet but they're still hot and eating them raw can be pretty painful.

I think the reason my stomach and intestines were burning was the fact I ate like, 12 of them (that's a lot of hot peppers lol).

Fatal mistake the first time I ever made them was touching a certain part of a certain private part without washing my hands. A mistake I will never, ever make again.

Jalapenos aren't particularly hot. They're just right, and perfect for poppers.

IIRC Jalepenos are around 8,000 on the heat scale. A Habanero/scoth bonnet registers something like 300,000

Wahey, well remembered my son

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale

Oooh... apparently the Bullet Chillis from my fave Asian Grocer ARE Jalepenos. I never deseed them when I use in curries, maybe that's why I thought they were a hotter variety.

To the Poppertron!

You certainly wouldn't deseed them for that, no. I have a huge jar of chopped ones I use for my Taco pie thingers and they all have the seeds left in. Just can't make poppers with them

Tesco sell them, fact fans.

They're actually surprisingly hot; at least, the pack I got was.

I'd be tempted to try pulling the seeds and membrane out of the top (ie no chopping, apart from taking the top off) to chop and mix with the cheese. Even if it turns into an explodey mess, it's still a chilli and cheese explodey mess.

Craster and I ate million-Scoville-sauce last week.

I hiccoughed.