Be Excellent To Each Other

I reckon I could do that. If they let me swap out the beans for more bacon, or something.

As a sideline, I have spent the last week eating beef bacon and chicken sausages for breakfast. I believe I have worked out why some folks in muslim nations have a tendancy to be belligerant.

I could do it if they removed the tomatoes and the fungus.

And I had a pint of cider ready for afterwards.

I'd struggle with the sausages, half them and I'd nail that. I'd need 5 cups of tea to wash it down though.

It's the toast that would defeat me. The crippling gut ache from all those beans and eggs is something I'd just have to deal with after.

I think I'd struggle to eat a fifth of that, especially in the morning.

I could do it.

We discussed this on eggwan.com yonks ago. Our conclusion was those are going to be some really gristly sausages.

Indeed, otherwise there's no way they'd make a profit on that. Maybe it's just a loss-leader or publicity generator though.

The really cheap sausages are mostly rusk, rather than mostly gristle.

seriously though, how many people could *really* polish that off in 20 minutes? I know I couldn't.

Apart from the toast, I reckon I could give it a good go, but I wouldn't have fun.

Didn't see the time limit. I'd probably say 'fuck that', take a bit longer and have plenty of tea, and then just pay for the bastard.

See, that's what I mean. You've all said "take X off and I'll manage". They won't see it that way.

Christ... 10 sausages...

Nah - i said "Take the time limit off and I'll pay for it" - that's the difference :0)

Fuck the challenge, I just want a socially acceptable excuse to eat that much pig.

How about we do a sponsored Pork-a-thon for charity Craster?

Welcome back by the way.

And yes I do half mean, buttfuckery when I say pork-a-thon.

Aye. Bolton meet, say June?

Why thankyou, my good man.



Good job you clarified, I honestly really did think you just meant sausage-eating. Wait.

I could probably have that*. It's a question of balancing wet and dry in every mouthful. I'm assuming that the main non-rusk ingredients of the sausages are water and fat for that though.

* I would then be violently ill for several hours, and not have any space for further food for several days because of backed-up shite.

There's no way I could eat that much in one sitting, let alone in twenty minutes (and with no drink). I do however like the idea of this sort of stunt/promotion, and wonder how many people have made themselves sick trying to do it.

I can put a fair bit of food away but I'd struggle with just the ten slices of toast.

I wouldn't do it as I'm not a fat, gluttonous fuck.

Give it another 12 months of being at home, I reckon.

Then every time MaliA hits the beach Greenpeace will turn up and throw him back in the water.

Ah, there he is.

Although, creepily, I agree (in softer terms). 2 egg, 2 sausage, 2 bacon would do me.

Reminds me of the time I licked out John McCririck.

Must have swallowed a dozen half cooked bangers then too.

Those are quite big enough for me, thanks. From Lazy Days Cafe in Abergavenny. The one in the foreground is the "medium" breakfast for about a fiver and the background is the "large" breakfast for £8 or something. I don't think I've ever finished one.

I couldn't even remotely manage that, let alone in the morning.

Also: welcome back, Craster. I hope you had fun. And thanks for sending your holiday snaps to Zardoz for him to post here.

The one in the foreground is clearly much bigger than the other, you're being confused by the plate sizes.

It isn't. The one in the background has a third bit of bacon, a third sausage, tomato, a second egg, and a piece of fried bread. The one in the forground is on a round plate and the one in the background a larger oval plate, which might be tricking your eye.

I'd expect the eater to be eggbound for days after.

One is big, one is far away.

Are you? Erm, are you a sumo wrestler?

Gaywood... LOSES!

GAH!

the first breakfast is too too big. My fav one is from the Midstop truck cafe

Fried bread instead of toast. Pork chops and steak instead of mushrooms and beans. 5 kebabs instead of a 5 sausages. A flagon of flat ale and gallon of tea, a fair bit of brown sauce and add in some burgers and reckon I could manage that. Wouldn't feel great afterwards so some ice cold vodka to finish off. Sorted.

Fried bread.

So good it has got to be fattening. Wait.

Eggy bread is nicer than fried bread. Though they're both heavenly. Add some pancakes, bacon and maple syrup, and you've got yourself a breakfast.

2 John McCriricks 1 Breakfast Platter.

The trick is to fry the bread, then make it eggy bread. Yes, I have made this once. Guilty is not the word.

We used to have fried bread and cheese on toast with our Sunday breakfasts (of fried eggs, mushrooms, beans, bacons and sausages). And toast.

We didn't eat until a snack at tea after one of those.

Need.

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

How does the egg soak into/stick to the bread if it's already oily?

Scientific experimentation may be required.

I feel like a have a proper appetite today for the first time in a wee while so I made a trip to Sainsburys to get some shopping. Actually feel like I need a sleep now agter that walk and it's only five minutes away
Anyway, inspired by this thread I bought some stuff for a tasty breakfast. I'm having unsmoked bacon, smoked bacon, beef links, black pudding, haggis, toast and an egg. They didn't have any square slice and I forgot to get tattie scones

Unsmoked bacon is called "green" bacon in the butchery trade. HTH

I see very little need for unsmoked bacon to exist.