Be Excellent To Each Other

So you're at the checkout in the supermarket.



Are you concerned that the customer in front (and indeed behind) will think you're a raging, carnivorous pie-guzzling alcoholic, and so ensure that you put all your healthy vegatables and fresh bread up next to their divider for them to see when they inevitably look over at it?

Or do you just happily shove your four bottles of spirits, two cases of beer and stack of frozen pies and pizza to the front?

EDIT: I DON'T GIVE A TOSS HOW YOU ARRANGE THE STUFF APART FROM WHETHER YOU PUT HEALTHY SHIT AT THE FRONT OR NOT FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PERSON IN FRONT'S OPINION OF YOU.

I just make sure all the fridge/freezer goods, the non-chilled/frozen food and the non-food stuff are all kept in together in three separate sections for easier unpacking when I get home.

Normally it goes fridge/frozen, other food, non-food, so by the divider we'll have some pencils, washing up liquid and Heat magazine, or something.

Stuff goes on the belt in the 'bagging order' - heavy stuff at the front, light stuff at the back, or it squashes up when you put it in the trolley.

I put the things that are on top of other things on the conveyor belt first. Because of gravity and stuff.

I happily go into supermarkets and purchase beer, pizza and pork pies.

Yeah I sort of think roughly what cupboards stuff will end up in and group it together like that. What does amuse me is those people who stand there loading the belt up as though they're playing Tetris, piling stuff up as if it will somehow make it go through the checkout quicker.

Normally fruit and veg first.. so it does not get crushed...

But normally done by section, frozen, chilled etc etc.. as it gets bagged in teh correct order..

Mind you, we have the shopping delivered now. Fuck interacting with a human. Having to answer the door to one is bad enough.

I get them to deliver it all to my house - apart from the odd bottle of wine, it all comes sealed in carrier bags. Problem solved.

In that case: No, I don't.

The guys that collect my recycling have started asking for invites to the parties we hold every week though

I can honestly say I've never given it a moment's thought Perkies, you freak.

I don't as I don't buy healthy shit

Yeah, I normally get it delivered - easier to budget that way, for one thing - but I go up to Tesco for a stocking-up shop once a month or so.

And - THREAD CROSSOVER - if I go to a supermarket that makes you put pound coins in to get a trolley I get very annoyed, especially when I don't have one, and worry about what sort of place makes you pay a deposit on a shopping trolley.

I am not allowed to go shopping any more, so Mrs Kov and Little Kov go...

I also have a keyring with a fake pound on it, it is great for the gym or the supermarket

In a supermarket in Rome, the missus bought some condoms for sexings, and got a chocolate dessert thing because she was hungry. There were the only two things she put on the belt.
In front of her in the queue was a nun.
Behind her in the queue was a nun.

That should be the secondary poll - have you ever excused your vast purchases of booze and similar items as 'having a party' because 'for personal consumption' makes you look like one of those 'binge drinkers' who are just behind Polish paedophiles and single parent lesbian muslims with hooks for hands.

TehRev: It serves a dual purpose - it stops the shopping carts ending up in your local park/middle of a dual carriageway (really)/in a river, and it means that people will return them to the lockup thing instead of just leaving them to roll freely into your car door.

Nuns are allowed pudding, you know.

Also - I like that you specify the condoms are for sexings, rather than, say, for blowing up and playing johnny volleyball with in a bar.

No, couldn't give a flying fuck.
Where is the, "I don't have any healthy stuff in my trolley," option?

The second option.

Why arn't there options for sane people.... oh wait, this forum.. carry on.

Oh fuck, I selected option 3 when I should have done option 2.
I didn't read the full thing. Polls should have short options, not long wordy things that I can't be arsed to read

I have a friend (I think, I know someone told me that they had done this but can't remember who, it may be Andy Bears brother in law but can't remember now) who...

Fuck that. Start again.

I have a friend who intentionally put a pack of Nappies, then loads of booze on the conveyor belt when he did his glastonbury booze shop. When the checkout bint ran it all through, he pretended he didn't have enough money, so took the nappies off and got her to retotal. (He never wanted the nappies, it was just for shits and giggles and to see the reaction).

I miss POTW :-)

I always queue at the checkouts with real people manning them now. 'Self-checkouts' always fail for me: I don't like arguing with robots that my items are actually in the bag.

Oh fuck what? I stopped reading after that, it was getting boring.

I select the checkout with the most jailbait chick. That's about it.

On the subject of being self-conscious in the supermarket, I popped to my local Co-op for a few bits yesterday. At the end, I realised I'd only had junk like cakes and biscuits in my basket so I ended up adding a loaf I didn't need just so that I wouldn't be thought of as making a trip to the shop just as I'd run out of cakes and biscuits.

What?

FTFM and Tesco Lewisham

I normally stop reading after I read 'Myp'.

although midgets would be much better.

Also, I buy all my proper food elsewhere. The only stuff I buy from the supermarket is soft drinks, booze & crisps, etc. to eat while drinking the booze. I must look a right jakey

A better story involving condoms was with an ex-Mrs Grim....
She was a lively little thing, and demanded rudeness one night, only we had no condoms.
So, I drove to a 24-hour petrol station and she jumped out to get some.
Jumping back into the car, she said "Stupid petrol station didn't have ribbed, I had to get plain instead." The chap in the almost-identical red Focus parked next to me laughed nearly as much as I did when she told me what happened afterward

Brilliant!

That has brought a smile to my mush...

Worst thing that happened to us regarding this was we were wheeling round our then empty trolley, when someone came up to us and nicked it, leaving their empty one behind. Thinking it was a bit odd, we used the trolley that had been left, only to find it had a pound shaped lump of metal in it.

Yep.

Yep.

Back when I was about ten my mother and I had just arrived at the supermarket when a woman came up to us with a shopping cart and said 'oh, just arriving? Give me the dollar and you can have mine.'

We agreed and went shopping around, it was only when we were done and went to return the cart did we find that someone had jammed a pound coin into the slot (the Canadian dollar coin is large and thin like a 50p piece) and this bitch had bamboozled us quite successfully... we couldn't even get the pound out.

Morrisons trollies used to accept 20ps as well as £1 coins, but no-one except the staff and a few other wise folks knew this.

So whenever I went shopping there I'd put a 20p in the trolley and after I'd finished shopping I'd try and find an unsuspecting person to pawn the trolley off on to so that they'd give me a pound for it.

I used to work there too, and had trolley collection duty every so often. The number of people who just leave their pound coin in the trolley or accidentally drop it and can't be bothered to pick it up, is incredible.

A nervous looking lad of about 18 shuffled up to the counter of the local shop and mumbled something about condoms. The woman behind the counter didn't hear his mumbling so he then leant over and in quite a loud stage whisper said 'CON-DOMS'. The woman behind the counter asked him how many he wanted, and he said 'three', she turned to behind the counter where they were kept and put three packets on the table. he reached for them and realised her mistake and said no, he wanted one pack of three, but he was by now shaking so much that as he went to push them back to her he dropped two of the packs on the floor. As he bent to reach for them he stepped forward and managed to accidentally kick one packet so it slide right across the floor to my feet. He was mortified as I handed it back to him, and managed to drop it again. He paid his money and left almost running, not waiting for his change as the whole shop held its breath waiting for him to be out of earshot so everyone could laugh.

@Gazchap - that's a bit nasty of you. Some sod pushed their trolley on me and took my pound coin leaving me with some completely pointless 'smiley-faced' metal disk the other week, and I wasn't particularly amused.

Oh, and regarding the 'do I put healthy stuff at the front' - no. the only consideration is making sure that the heavy stuff is put through first so it doesn't squash bread, etc. Though, actually, we usually get our shopping delivered now so I don't keep getting my pound coin nicked.

I keep meaning to try online shopping but I enjoy going to the supermarket. It drives Jen mad though so maybe I will give it a go. When I put stuff on the conveyor I always put the heaviest stuff first but I'm never particularly concerned about the contents. In fact, sometimes I think I'm actually pleased with how my purchases must make me look. Not that they are particularly healthy, just that it looks like I'm going to be cooking some right tasty stuff.
As for condoms, I have never had to purchase them. I remember my first boyfriend going to buy some and trying to act really cool but it was obvious he was really nervous. I wouldn't even know how much they cost now though for obvious reasons. I would hate if I wanted to have sex and couldn't because I'd forgotten to buy some condoms.

I use those smily disks all the as they fit on my keyring

Samesies!

Today in Newport Road Sainsbury's I bought two packets of chocolate chip cookies and a variety of bottled ales. The nice redhead's till was free and we had a nice chat about different cookies. This was a relief as approaching the till I wondered if she might pity my booze addled, sweet-toothed nature.

Examples of how its bad to read threads quickly :

I can't decide if this thread is better or worse than an article on bean bag stuffers.

I use the pound coins as they fit in my purse and I can buy stuff with them.

Is that people who shag overweight cripples?