Butchering the Sacred Cows

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

Okay, I'm sick of gushing about certain games, movies, etc. I think we should ram dynamite op these sacred cows jacksies, and make minced beef the easy way! You can fuck off with your rebuttals too...

I'll start:

Crackdown:

No plot.
Shit driving.
Guns which feel like something put together by JML.
Stupid spawn/save system.
A painfully average game.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 22:10

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

Joss Whedon:

A writer who thinks that killing characters off for no fucking reason at all equals 'drama'. Also, inane dialogue should not be one of the selling points of your series.

throughsilver · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 6197

How is this different from a troll thread?

Trousers · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3073

In two posts you have just spectacularly usurped Mr Chris as king of wrong.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 22:19

EDF: godawful budget shooting things game that NEVER ENDS.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38667

real time strategy. All the careful planning, base building and resource management in the world wont save you from a fucking AI tank rush

TheAlbin0Kid · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 22:40

Ashes 2009 - terribly designed, awful AI, umpiring seems random, so too catches and wickets, totally unrealistic scoring rates achievable, ridiculously easy cheevos that cheapen the whole notion of them being "achievements", couldn't even be bothered to fork out for the rights to the actual players names... all in all, a waste of time and money.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38667

just cos you're rubbish at it

End of an Era · **Joined:** 25th Nov, 2008 **Posts:** 1041

Apocalypse Now!

Is frankly a boring film that makes no sense and does nothing to illuminate the American experience in Vietnam or the Vietnamese experience during the war.

End of an Era · **Joined:** 25th Nov, 2008 **Posts:** 1041

Joseph Conrad.

He may well be famed in literature for English not being his first language, but sweet holy Jesus are his books boring.

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 22:46

The albinzero kid.

Can't spell. Secretly loves myp. Jealous of the ashes 09, due to its myp stealing tendencies.

Bobbyaro · **Joined:** 18th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 11898

Mirrors Edge: Why are all these people shooting at me? I am just walking down the street, stop it! Oh look, now you have a helicopter shooting at me, why? where has the budget for this come from? How come no one cares??? This game would be SO much better without the "fighting".

nickachu · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 22:53

TheAlbin0Kid wrote:

Ashes 2009 - terribly designed, awful AI, umpiring seems random, so too catches and wickets, totally unrealistic scoring rates achievable, ridiculously easy cheevos that cheapen the whole notion of them being "achievements", couldn't even be bothered to fork out for the rights to the actual players names... all in all, a waste of time and money.

YOU DIDN'T FUCKING BUY IT!
STOP MOANING FFS!

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Pundabaya wrote:

Joss Whedon:

A writer who thinks that killing characters off for no fucking reason at all equals 'drama'.

Or, y'know, one of the stipulations the actor gives you as the only way they'll sign up to do it. Assuming you're referring to Serenity.

The Rev Owen · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:12

Bobbyaro wrote:

Mirrors Edge: Why are all these people shooting at me? I am just walking down the street, stop it! Oh look, now you have a helicopter shooting at me, why? where has the budget for this come from? How come no one cares??? This game would be SO much better without the "fighting".

That's not slaughtering a sacred cow! That's something everyone in the world has said! Mind you, it wasn't the combat that stopped me playing it, but getting trapped in a pit. RAGE.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Battlestar Galactica: Beautifully filmed ambitious epic ruined by a cast full of utterly hateful emo pricks.

Kern · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:17

Ulysses. You only read it in order to sound impressive at dinner parties.

Am I forgiven?

End of an Era · **Joined:** 25th Nov, 2008 **Posts:** 1041

GoldenEye.

A blurry, choppy, boring mess of a game.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:20

Oasis.

Yes, I fucking get it!

SHUT UP!

*several years later*

NO SERIOUSLY, SHUT UP! STOP PLAYING THE SAME SONG!

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

System Shock 2

Fiddly controls. Over-complicated. Some of the worst graphics I've ever seen. And GUNS WHICH FALL APART AFTER YOU'VE FIRED 3 SHOTS!

Mr Dave · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:21

I agree with Curiosity.

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

Craster wrote:

Pundabaya wrote:

Joss Whedon:

A writer who thinks that killing characters off for no fucking reason at all equals 'drama'.

Or, y'know, one of the stipulations the actor gives you as the only way they'll sign up to do it. Assuming you're referring to Serenity.

I've not seen serenity.. I was thinking more of every bloody non-baddie death ever in Buffy and Angel. And the girl in Dr Horrible.

Pundabaya · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 5016

The Lord of the Rings.(Books) 80% filler. Fucking Tom Bombadil. Every last character is at the very least unsympathetic. Most of them verge into 'fucking annoying' territory. Dialogue that makes most Slash Fics look professional.

I think the movies should've cut more. Theres too much of Tolkein's pointless crap left in.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:28

Dave, you'd better be working on an epic post about Left4Dead.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

Pundabaya wrote:

I've not seen serenity.. I was thinking more of every bloody non-baddie death ever in Buffy and Angel. And the girl in Dr Horrible.

Oh. Then your point sort-of stands.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:46

Pundabaya wrote:

The Lord of the Rings.(Books) 80% filler. Fucking Tom Bombadil. Every last character is at the very least unsympathetic. Most of them verge into 'fucking annoying' territory. Dialogue that makes most Slash Fics look professional.

I think the movies should've cut more. Theres too much of Tolkein's pointless crap left in.

OOH! OOH! YOU BEAST!

myp · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:47

I don't like this thread.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:48

Uh oh. The Sword of Dudley is hanging over us.

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Shakespeare:

Ruining the joy of reading for under 16 year olds to this very day.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:51

IFeelAsleep wrote:

Shakespeare:

Ruining the joy of reading for under 16 year olds to this very day.

That's pretty much true for anything you're forced to read that you don't want to. I remember the horror of My Family and Other Animals to this day.

End of an Era · **Joined:** 25th Nov, 2008 **Posts:** 1041

IFeelAsleep wrote:

Shakespeare:

Ruining the joy of reading for under 16 year olds to this very day.

That's the education system, though. The plays are meant to be performed, not read by idiot children.

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Doesn't make it any less shit.

metalangel · **Posted:** Thu Aug 27, 2009 23:54

Shakespeare is really hard to follow... until you see it performed. Then it's reet gude.

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Dimrill wrote:

That's pretty much true for anything you're forced to read that you don't want to. I remember the horror of My Family and Other Animals to this day.

I was forced to read Of Mice And Men and Animal Farm before Shakespeare. I didn't hate them because of it.

End of an Era · **Joined:** 25th Nov, 2008 **Posts:** 1041

IFeelAsleep wrote:

Animal Farm

Really? Orwell is possibly the most boring, self-opinionated cunt of the last century. His biggest mistake was not dying after being shot during the Spanish Civil War.

TheAlbin0Kid · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 1:08

Dimrill wrote:

I remember the horror of My Family and Other Animals to this day.

I remember My Family, it's still on isn't it? Pretty naff. Never heard of Other Animals though.

sdg · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 6:57

Pundabaya wrote:

Crackdown:
Guns which feel like something put together by JML.

They are also totally safe! Look! *rubs gun against a balloon* A JML gun won't even burst this balloon!

Grim... · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:33

We discussed Will Shakie recently.

And I think this thread is just another version of this one: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=788

Anyway. Monty Python. It's not funny.

KovacsC · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:34

This thread is not going to end well..

sdg · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:41

Grim... wrote:

We discussed Will Shakie recently.

And I think this thread is just another version of this one: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=788

Anyway. Monty Python. It's not funny.

Blucey · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 2070

Donnie Darko.

Pretentious shit that thinks it's a lot cleverer than it is.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4842

BETEO - just some cunts that got kicked off WoS

Plissken · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:43

Sir Taxalot wrote:

BETEO - just some cunts that got kicked off WoS

Oh, you so, like, totally went there.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38667

Sir Taxalot wrote:

BETEO - just some cunts that got kicked off WoS

Not me! I'm a cunt that followed you cunts here.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49244

8-bit games. They're all actually a bit crap.

myp · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:54

Craster wrote:

8-bit games. They're all actually a bit crap.

This is one I'd agree with.

Curiosity · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:57

The Catcher in the Rye.

Shut your fucking whining and get a blog, you little emo shit.

Rodafowa · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 10:57

Craster wrote:

Battlestar Galactica: Beautifully filmed ambitious epic ruined by a cast full of utterly hateful emo pricks.

Oh fucking hell this.

GTA 4 - Rubbish car handling model, story didn't remotely work, nowhere near as funny as San Andreas let alone Vice City, all the minigames were rubbish and STOP FUCKING CALLING ME YOU HATEFUL CLINGY BASTARDS.

Runcle · **Posted:** Fri Aug 28, 2009 12:08

Rodafowa wrote:

Craster wrote:

Battlestar Galactica: Beautifully filmed ambitious epic ruined by a cast full of utterly hateful emo pricks.

Oh fucking hell this.

GTA 4 - Rubbish car handling model, story didn't remotely work, nowhere near as funny as San Andreas let alone Vice City, all the minigames were rubbish and STOP FUCKING CALLING ME YOU HATEFUL CLINGY BASTARDS.

Wait are you saying San Andreas was funnier than Vice City?

Be Excellent To Each Other

Butchering the Sacred Cows
with a rusty crowbar.

Who is online

Be Excellent To Each Other

Butchering the Sacred Cows with a rusty crowbar.

Who is online

Butchering the Sacred Cows
with a rusty crowbar.