Be Excellent To Each Other

How come you read about these actors/celebs/"personalities"/whatever and notice they suddenly change their surname at some point? It seems inconsistent as some have been married more than once and they either keep their own surname or change it to match their spouse.

Personally if I were to tie the knot I'd rather the other half be allowed to retain their own identity by keeping their maiden surname, but that's just me I guess.

It's because of history and that and wimmins was objects and stuff.

it's samantha janus that bothers you isn't it?

How do you think some one loses their Identity when they get married?

Lots of actors / celebs are not using their real name any way.

Like when Muhammad Ali got married?

All I'm saying is that she presumably shits in a litter tray.

My wife took my name legally but still works using her maiden name as that is the name she's built up an excellent business reputation with.

The good thing is, people can do what they like. I see now problem with the tradition of the lady taking the gentleman's name. That someone would want to use my name because they think so highly of me is a greater honour than any I've had.

*google searches*

Plus I wanted my son to have my surname..

When I get married I'll be taking the girlfriends name, mainly because it's way cooler than mine, being all foreign and strange and stuff.

Other than that I don't really care. The feminist in me that lurks around the back of my head and occasionally kicks stuff over should make a fuss about how omg patriarchal taking a mans name is, but... meh. It doesn't affect me in the slightest so summoning even the slightest bit of enthusiasm about it would be pointless.

Well, more Cheryl Tweedy anyway.

It's what pisses me off about feminism.

Over the thousands of years that humans have been on the earth, women basically sat back and let the men do all the hard work, like the hunting and gathering, fighting wars doing science, inventing medicines, cars, aeroplanes and shit like that, and as it is all settling down now, they suddenly start complaining about not being treated correctly?

Fucking ingrates, all of them.

Now now Malia, don't "troll" the "newb".

It's a symptom, it ain't the disease.

Marriage is a complicated thing that symbolises different things to different people that they all get into for different reasons. Saying "This Is How Marriage Ought To Work And If You Don't Do It This Way You're Wrong" doesn't work any better on this point than it does when right-wing mentalists are insisting that one man and one woman is the only thing that deserves to be called a marriage.

So yeah, intellectually I recognise that it's one more horrible archaic tool of the patriarchy that we really should have grown up past by now. And I'd be a lot happier if it wasn't the recognised default setting. On the other hand, if it works for someone's specific situation and specific relationship then who am I to tell them different?

I think sometimes when a husband's surname is taken at the second marriage but not the first it might partly be an 'up yours' to the first husband, partly because they want the world to know that this one is 'the one' so they've gone that extra step to prove that and also for a fresh start.

On a more general note about taking a partner's surname think when children are hoped for in the future many people want the bond that a family surname brings - if a woman keeps her own surname then they can either give the child a double-barrelled surname, which many people don't like or one parent will not share a surname with their own child.

Maybe when people get married they should choose their own new surname as you leave one family and start your own. That would be far mre fun, because I'd have to convince my other half that our surname should be 'Jellybean'.

You're so cute.

In a way I think Ange is sad losing her name as she's an only child and the last of her name. Her dad has a sister but obviously she's married and taken her husband's name now, too.

But on the other hand it's awesome, and she's still getting excited every time a letter pops through the door with her new name on it. I'm sure the novelty will wear off at some point soon, though.

I have wondered what I will do when I get married (I will convince her one day, honest). I don't have a problem with changing my surname and in fact I think it something to look forward to as it symbolises a new stage in your life or something. So I think I would happily take her surname. Don't know if she'll let me have it though!

And the word 'nee' is acebest.

I've just remembered one of my pet hates. People who put '[Firstname] [Surname] was [Maidenname] on Facebook.

I still keep opening Alis post by mistake because I see my name on the letter and assume its for me. Normally when I roll home drunk.


Also, to keep tabs on what the little bitch is up to.

Hardly, feminism is flawed as a concept when arguing for equality.

Example, if you made a list of the sum total of humanity's achievements over the past 5,000 years, then about 3 would be credited to women. They've added next to nothing to the combined pool of knowledge and even less in the development race.

The most famous woman in the world only posed for a picture.

Couldn't agree more!

I've never actually heard one do that, though.

That makes me angry too. I might set up a group.

Lady Di died for our sins too, don't forget.

That's because all us wimmins were being chained to stoves, or burned at the stake for having an original thought!

*settles down and waits for Rodders. With popcorn*

I made my gf take my surname when we got married, much like a lion pissing to mark its territory, so I sprayed all over her with (Snip - decency Ed.)

Seriously though, she was quite sad to loose her rare name and change to a much more common one, especially as she only haas sisters (but the name persists through cousins) but I was really flattered that she would want to change hers to mine (like GY said). For a while she was tempted to go double barelled, but the two names just don't flow nicely at all together.

Piffle and tosh. They could have gotten up and done something about it hundreds of years ago, but didn't. Nothing to do with anything at all but pure laziness and waiting for things to settle down.

Why fight sabretooths yourself if some dumb man will do it for you.

I read somewhere that their periods attract bears.

Both my names are rubbish. I might change them to something daft.


This has nothing to do with marrage, unless the person I'm marrying has a coolname, then I'd take there name and stick "BUTBETTER" on the end and then that would be my name forever.

Unless your first name is Illanus

What is wrong with that? It is so people that did not know you were married can still contact you..

Made my getting in touch with some (SNIP! -Legal Ed)

Well that's just great. So i'm putting the whole forum in jeapordy?

There are plenty of grizzlys here anyway. And you are just about bearable.

You've definitely missed the point this time. If only we already had a word that denoted someone's maiden name after they're married...

is there such a word? ( I have missed the point this time)

See kalmar's post that I quoted in my last one.

You sound like someone who was born out of their fathers arse rather than their mothers vagina.

'Nee' isn't any better or more correct than 'was', though.

It's more elegant, though. Putting 'was' just looks ugly.

No, it's wrong.
Née is correct.

Oh right, we're being pedantic about accents. Silly me.

Uh? Cleopatra did a lot more than that....

If you're going to be pedantic about people using the word 'was' perfectly correctly then I can be pedantic about spelling the replacement word correctly.

They should be using born, anyway. Fucking French.

Née, Nee, Was its all fucking pointless anyway. There is a box on facebook to put your maiden name in which leaves your facebook name unmolested but leaves you searchable under your old name (should you so wish to be).