Be Excellent To Each Other

The dollar currency is colloquially known as "bucks", as it originally had a portrait of the 0th President of the United States, Bucky O'Hare printed on all bills.

The penny farthing bicycle was called such as it was made from melted currency.

Children's favourite cartoon character He-Man was originally going to be called Man-Man. The creators changed it as they thought it was too feminine.

The golf tee is named such, as when the game was invented by hideous Scotch primates, they used a full cup of piping hot tea instead of a ball and took it in turns to smash them over Hadrian's Wall with clubs.

Baseball was invented by snapping the wings off 20 or so hornets, forming them into a "ball" with the their stinger faced inwards, and throwing them at the village idiot who would react violently and try to deflect them with a tree branch. It was called Baseball, as this was generally carried out among the working class, or "base" class. All that running around business was needed to get away from the quite furious crawling flightless beasts.

Fruit Pastilles were invented by two gay French men in a castle.

Skating was invented by bored fishmongers by placing 2 slimey flat fish on the base of each foot, and seeing how far down the market they could get on one shove. Rollerskating is similar in principle, but the fish is encased in a bread bun.

The copper wire was formed when two Jews found the same penny.

Ha excellent.

The Future is named after popular Scotch Visage frontman Midge Ure's son, Fut, who will be king of us all.

Think em up yerself. Original one is Scotch fighting over pennies, anyhow.

It's a little known fact that Nintendo mascot Mario was named such as at conception he ruined Jupiter's first moon. Super Mario Galaxy 2's plot will revolve around him rectifying this error.

The Leakiest Wink was an ill-fated spin-off show where Anne Robinson would be faced by contestants with bladder problems. Contestants had to resist voting themselves off so they could go for a piss.

Nice one.

Alan Sugar shits £1 coins. This is why he always looks so grumpy.

OK then. The grand canyon was formed when a scotsman dropped a penny down a rabbit hole.

Lies! It was the initial construction of a slide for an obese water park until the company went bust.

The fork was invented because the Jews needed something to put in their sugar bowl.

John, are you Jewish?

I didn't know Midge had been in Visage (or Thin Lizzy!) until today.

I like the facts! Well, not the slightly dodgy Jew ones. But otherwise nice!

Disagree with post #1

It comes from the British penny and farthing coins, one much larger than the other so that the side view resembles a penny leading a farthing

I think that Dimrill's facts are actually meant to be 'facts'

Ah ok.

Cricket is known as such because the bat was originally made from crickets stuck together with Jiminy Cricket's blood.

The origin of the word "pandemonium" comes from the fact that all Pandas are mentals.

Amstrad Action was the first computer magazine in the world to have a cover mounted tape.*



* Actually, that's true.

Nah some kids I grew up with were. So it was a constant barrage of taunts back and forth.

Oddly enough I got most of my Jew jokes from a fellow named Zientek.

Gambling was invented in Ireland. This is why the tokens used are called 'chips' - the original gamblers would use slices of raw potato to represent their winnings.

Glass is made from solidified spit, you can lick your way through a window if you try long enough.

See, they thought those kids were daft in the head, but really they're trying to escape.

Did you realise that Paul Weller's - You do something to me was actually written by Cole Porter.

The correct name for "Big Ben" is actually "Pedants' Tower".

Kenneth Tynan was the first person to masturbate on live television.

Dave Allen lost his finger in a fracas when Frankie Howerd attempted to seduce him.

In order to help her guests relax, Kirsty Young presents Desert Island Discs completely naked.

It wasn't Bob Holness who played saxophone on Baker Street, but Gordon Burns.

Prince changed his name after legal threats from the early 80s Blue Peter guide dog/puppy of the same name.

If only.

It is possible to get the middle bit out of a two pound coin, but only if attempted when the coin isn't expecting it.

Swans aren't owned by the Queen.

All profits from the company Swan Vesta go to the Queen, as she owns them all.

I'm happy to admit that I would be anything but relaxed in that scenario.

It's fine once you get past the unexpected cock.

Hung like a horse or so I've heard

Coffee and mints are something based on your sense of smell. Hence, if you hold your nose when you drink the coffee or eat the mint you won't be able to taste it at all.

Metallurgy is one of a number of lurgies known to cause zombification.

Every blade of grass has a unique smell. The smell of cut grass is the equivalent of mixing loads of paints together and getting a brown colour.

A DVD is not made as a perfect circle even though a CD is. Lining the two up together is an optical illusion.

Walt Disney invented WD-1 though to WD-14. Someone less famous took over the project and went on to created the formula for WD-40.

Aswad are a myth.

There is only one surving pair of breeding Cthulhus left in the wild, although a zoo in China has a pair. However, these are both male.

Magnets are pieces of ordinary metal dipped into invisible hippies at one end and invisible bowls of soapy water at the other.

Danny Baker invented soup.

The Interents Famous Richard Gaywood is an elaborate piece of guerilla marketing by Sony.

A ducks quack DOES echo, but at a pitch that can only be heard by Belgians.

Dogs can't look up, except for when they can.

The bubbles in a Whisper bar are actually secrets softly spoken into the molten chocolate before pouring.

Elephants have an assortment of umbrellas inside each foot.

My baby does care for shows
My baby does care for clothes

Germans do have a sense of humour. The last line of the German national anthem is "Wird Sie bitte ziehen meinen Finger nicht".