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 Post subject: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:45 
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Dear Mr Hollywood,
Here is a list of things you seem to always get wrong. It's mostly about guns, but that's just coincidence.

1. Guns don't make a metallic clicking noise when you move them, or pick them up. If they do, they're very, very broken.
2. Computer games no longer make Asteroids-style "beep boop beep" noises.
3. You only need to chamber a round into a pump action shotgun once. Doing it over and over again for attention will simply cause you to eject live cartridges onto the floor.
4. Police cars aren't magical - if they are chasing a high-performance or a modified sports car, they simply wouldn't be able to keep up.
5. Shooting a door lock or padlock in an attempt to break the lock and open the door will likely only have one consequence, and that is the shooter being injured by a ricocheting bullet.
6. Modern cars are fragile things. Driving into another car at any sort of speed would cause the crumple zones to collapse and might well set the airbag off into the driver's face.
7. Bullets don't carry enough force to knock someone off their feet. They might fall down out of shock (or because they are dead), but if a bullet could knock a victim flying backward, then the same amount of force would have to be applied to the shooter.

Okay, thanks for your time, please don't remake Alien!

Love Grim...



Does anyone else want to write to Mr Hollywood?

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:48 
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Grim... wrote:
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Dear Mr Hollywood,
5. Shooting a door lock or padlock in an attempt to break the lock and open the door will likely only have one consequence, and that is the shooter being injured by a ricocheting bullet.



§5.1 In addition, It seems doubtful that in the future gun technology will have progressed to the level where shooting a keypad will open and/or lock the door depending on your current needs.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:49 
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3. You only need to chamber a round into a pump action shotgun once. Doing it over and over again for attention will simply cause you to eject live cartridges onto the floor.
The pen-and-paper RPG Feng Shui, based on Hong Kong action movies, granded shotgun-wielding characters bonus damage if their players mimed pumping the gun and made the "click-click" noise. Even for automatic ones. Feng Shui was awesome. The example of play session in the beginning features a battle in a kitchen, with people getting bopped with frying pans full of hot oil, a character killing a foe with a katana after running along the stream of bullets coming from his heavy machine gun, and a Bond-style spy with a special power to make a villain monologue and reveal all his plans.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:51 
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Dr Lave wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Quote:
Dear Mr Hollywood,
5. Shooting a door lock or padlock in an attempt to break the lock and open the door will likely only have one consequence, and that is the shooter being injured by a ricocheting bullet.



§5.1 In addition, It seems doubtful that in the future gun technology will have progressed to the level where shooting a keypad will open and/or lock the door depending on your current needs.

Ooh, good one. In my film that I have three ideas for, one of the ideas is that the hero will shoot the keypad of a half-open door and it will close. He'll swear, shoot it again, and it'll open.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:52 
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Grim... wrote:
Quote:
6. Modern cars are fragile things. Driving into another car at any sort of speed would cause the crumple zones to collapse and might well set the airbag off into the driver's face.


But not so fragile they explode without fail in every one of said collisions.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:57 
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4. Police cars aren't magical - if they are chasing a high-performance or a modified sports car, they simply wouldn't be able to keep up.

Not even Volvo T5s? ;)

I'm sure some of the American police cars have Very Big Engines Indeed. Granted they're American and can't go round corners, but still. Police Camera Action never lies.

5. Shooting a door lock or padlock in an attempt to break the lock and open the door will likely only have one consequence, and that is the shooter being injured by a ricocheting bullet.

Unless it's a shotgun, of course - the French police, for instance, have special shotgun rounds for breaching doors, but yeah, a hand gun would do nothing much. A decent assault rifle should be able to mince a padlock, though, I'd have thought.

7. Bullets don't carry enough force to knock someone off their feet. They might fall down out of shock (or because they are dead), but if a bullet could knock a victim flying backward, then the same amount of force would have to be applied to the shooter.

By the same reasoning, the amount of force required to make a bullet go through the target's head would have to be applied to the shooter, and the recoil is nowhere near that, surely?


Continuity errors are my big bugbear. There's a massive one in Jurassic Park (watched this a couple of nights ago), where the T-Rex comes out of the enclosure in the rain, from where the little goat was tied up. 5 minutes later Lex and Tim's car is pushed over the barrier in the same spot, and it's now a 100 foot drop. It's not fucking difficult to not do this sort of thing, for christ's sake, and it's glaringly obvious. The internet has an apparently limitless supply of nerds who can spot them for you for free.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 16:58 
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More tits please.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:00 
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Mr Chris wrote:
By the same reasoning, the amount of force required to make a bullet go through the target's head would have to be applied to the shooter, and the recoil is nowhere near that, surely?
YOU PEOPLE WITH YOUR MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE LAWS OF PHYSICS DEPRESS ME.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:01 
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Mr Chris wrote:
4. Police cars aren't magical - if they are chasing a high-performance or a modified sports car, they simply wouldn't be able to keep up.

Not even Volvo T5s? ;)

I'm sure some of the American police cars have Very Big Engines Indeed. Granted they're American and can't go round corners, but still. Police Camera Action never lies.


They also weigh about 4 tonnes which cancels out the big engine somewhat - but your point still stands because evading the cops in a car chase (in traffic) is surely far more about skill and luck than power to weight ratio.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:01 
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Write new stories rather than regurgitate our old faves into our sandpapered eyes.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:02 
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Mr Chris wrote:
4. Police cars aren't magical - if they are chasing a high-performance or a modified sports car, they simply wouldn't be able to keep up.

Not even Volvo T5s? ;)

I'm sure some of the American police cars have Very Big Engines Indeed. Granted they're American and can't go round corners, but still. Police Camera Action never lies.

Certainly, but they're also very heavy. Some police cars are very fast, but they are specialist vehicles.

Mr Chris wrote:
5. Shooting a door lock or padlock in an attempt to break the lock and open the door will likely only have one consequence, and that is the shooter being injured by a ricocheting bullet.

Unless it's a shotgun, of course - the French police, for instance, have special shotgun rounds for breaching doors, but yeah, a hand gun would do nothing much. A decent assault rifle should be able to mince a padlock, though, I'd have thought.

The French web rounds basically don't work that well. You'd get there in the end, of course.
A decent assault rifle might well make a mess of the lock, but that doesn't mean it'll open.

Mr Chris wrote:
7. Bullets don't carry enough force to knock someone off their feet. They might fall down out of shock (or because they are dead), but if a bullet could knock a victim flying backward, then the same amount of force would have to be applied to the shooter.

By the same reasoning, the amount of force required to make a bullet go through the target's head would have to be applied to the shooter, and the recoil is nowhere near that, surely?

Surface pressure, dude :)

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:03 
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Mr Chris wrote:
7. Bullets don't carry enough force to knock someone off their feet. They might fall down out of shock (or because they are dead), but if a bullet could knock a victim flying backward, then the same amount of force would have to be applied to the shooter.

By the same reasoning, the amount of force required to make a bullet go through the target's head would have to be applied to the shooter, and the recoil is nowhere near that, surely?


You've got an equal (And opposite) force acting on two different masses.

Say you have a 100kg (american) cop and a 10gram (0.01kg) bullet.

So the recoil accelerating the person is a factor of a 10,000 times less than the bullet.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:05 
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Grim... wrote:
Mr Chris wrote:
7. Bullets don't carry enough force to knock someone off their feet. They might fall down out of shock (or because they are dead), but if a bullet could knock a victim flying backward, then the same amount of force would have to be applied to the shooter.

By the same reasoning, the amount of force required to make a bullet go through the target's head would have to be applied to the shooter, and the recoil is nowhere near that, surely?

Surface pressure, dude :)


Size of the round compared to area of the grip? Yeah, true. Still, having used an assault rifle the recoil didn't seem enough to be equal to the force the bullet applies to the target. I assume kinetic energy is being "lost" somewhere in the mechanism and not making it through to my shoulder. as it were.

Lave wrote:
You've got an equal (And opposite) force acting on two different masses.

Say you have a 100kg (american) cop and a 10gram (0.01kg) bullet.

So the recoil accelerating the person is a factor of a 10,000 times less than the bullet.

Yeah, I engaged brain and realised that.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:06 
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8. Dinosaurs aren't around now and there are no such things as vampires, werewolves, monsters or Michael Jackson. Stop making flims aboot them.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:06 
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Dr Lave wrote:
Say you have a 100kg (american) cop and a 10gram (0.01kg) bullet. So the recoil accelerating the person is a factor of a 10,000 times less than the bullet.
I disagree there, a bit. You're considering gun+cop as a solid entity ("assume all cows are spherical and hollow"), and considering the cop's interactions with his surroundings; but when people think of recoil, they are mostly thinking of the kick of the gun into your hand or shoulder. There, the mass to use is the mass of the gun, and from there derive the force from conservation of momentum, and consider the surface area of contact between the body of the gun and the firer.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:06 
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kalmar wrote:
Mr Chris wrote:
4. Police cars aren't magical - if they are chasing a high-performance or a modified sports car, they simply wouldn't be able to keep up.

Not even Volvo T5s? ;)

I'm sure some of the American police cars have Very Big Engines Indeed. Granted they're American and can't go round corners, but still. Police Camera Action never lies.


They also weigh about 4 tonnes which cancels out the big engine somewhat - but your point still stands because evading the cops in a car chase (in traffic) is surely far more about skill and luck than power to weight ratio.


I've heard it's about getting through a set of bollards, down a pedestrianised one way street and out of Headington, and onto the backroads faster than they can clock the plate, which is a moody plate anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:06 
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9. Bullets can easily pass through a car door. Stop your characters taking cover behind them.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:07 
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Dimrill wrote:
9. Bullets can easily pass through a car door. Stop your characters taking cover behind them.

I was going to put this one in, with armchairs and coffee tables too. But I figured I had enough gun stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:08 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Dr Lave wrote:
Say you have a 100kg (american) cop and a 10gram (0.01kg) bullet. So the recoil accelerating the person is a factor of a 10,000 times less than the bullet.
I disagree there, a bit. You're considering gun+cop as a solid entity ("assume all cows are spherical and hollow"), and considering the cop's interactions with his surroundings; but when people think of recoil, they are mostly thinking of the kick of the gun into your hand or shoulder. There, the mass to use is the mass of the gun, and from there derive the force from conservation of momentum, and consider the surface area of contact between the body of the gun and the firer.


PhysicsAgree.

Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:09 
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Grim... wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
9. Bullets can easily pass through a car door. Stop your characters taking cover behind them.

I was going to put this one in, with armchairs and coffee tables too. But I figured I had enough gun stuff.

Does not compute.

Actually, there's one:

Hollywood - please include guns and porn in all chick flicks to make up for all the tedious navel gazing neurotic woman shit we have to sit through in the rest of the film. Thanks.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:09 
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10. When downloading anything on the Innerneh, a large bar graph does not appear and take up 90% of the screen.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:10 
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kalmar wrote:
Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?

Um, I've not heard of that. Doesn't mean it's not true, of course.
But backwards of a gun is normally the person shooting with it, is it not?

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:10 
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8- Mr. Hollywood, mouses were invented 30 years ago and they are much more practical than using only the keyboard. And it's not possible to zoom in and out (at the exact point) and also do picture enchantment with only a keystroke.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:11 
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Stop inventing magical bedsheets that, even after/during a bout of wild passionate sex, somehow manage to at all times just about cover all the naughty bits.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:11 
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Dimrill wrote:
10. When downloading anything on the Innerneh, a large bar graph does not appear and take up 90% of the screen.


And if you get the password wrong, a giant flashing box does not appear saying "ACCESS DENIED" along with an hooting alarm.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:12 
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Grim... wrote:
Um, I've not heard of that. Backwards of a gun is normally the person shooting with it, is it not?

Indeed.

But energy is expended in kicking out the cartridge and chambering the next round, amongst other things, which reduces the recoil.

How did recoilless rifles work?

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:12 
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RuySan wrote:
8- Mr. Hollywood, mouses were invented 30 years ago and they are much more practical than using only the keyboard. And it's not possible to zoom in and out (at the exact point) and also do picture enchantment with only a keystroke.


Unless it's Bladerunner, then it's allowed and in fact positively encouraged.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:13 
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Grim... wrote:
kalmar wrote:
Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?
Um, I've not heard of that. Doesn't mean it's not true, of course.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it's true. I think some SMGs and other smaller full-auto weapons vent upwards, also, to attempt to compensate for barrel climb. I'll go looking for a citation.

Edit -- http://thegunwiki.com/Gunwiki/FactorsOfRecoil

Quote:
Compensators: These are a type of muzzle brake which vent gas vertically to counteract "muzzle flip" when rapid-firing. A compensated (or "ported") barrel, is a barrel into which cuts have been made to vent the gasses (generally upwards, for muzzle flip). Compensated barrels do sacrifice muzzle velocity, but they do not add additional length/weight to the end of the barrel like a muzzle brake. Ported barrels are almost exclusively encountered with handguns.


Quote:
How did recoilless rifles work?
Lots of springs and sliders inside the rifle body.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:13 
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kalmar wrote:
Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?


If they did, surely that would equally slow down the bullet? You want to be containing the explosion and using it all to force the bullet down the barrel, don't you?

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:13 
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kalmar wrote:
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Dr Lave wrote:
Say you have a 100kg (american) cop and a 10gram (0.01kg) bullet. So the recoil accelerating the person is a factor of a 10,000 times less than the bullet.
I disagree there, a bit. You're considering gun+cop as a solid entity ("assume all cows are spherical and hollow"), and considering the cop's interactions with his surroundings; but when people think of recoil, they are mostly thinking of the kick of the gun into your hand or shoulder. There, the mass to use is the mass of the gun, and from there derive the force from conservation of momentum, and consider the surface area of contact between the body of the gun and the firer.


PhysicsAgree.

Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?


Sure thing Glyndwr. I don't know much about guns, so took the assumption that the way they do that weird stance thing when firing is to lock their arms so they act as 'one' object. It seems a fair assumption to make in a forum reply, but not if I worked at QinetiQ!

It gets the point across anyhow. Just use the mass of the gun instead, and then propagate on.

Also how much do bullets weigh?

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:14 
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Mr Chris wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Um, I've not heard of that. Backwards of a gun is normally the person shooting with it, is it not?

Indeed.

But energy is expended in kicking out the cartridge and chambering the next round, amongst other things, which reduces the recoil.

How did recoilless rifles work?


Springs in the stock, I would have thought to store the energy and then release it gradually through oil filled pistons.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:14 
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Mr Chris wrote:
How did recoilless rifles work?

By ejecting a load of exhaust gas out of the back.
Quite why that didn't register in the first place is beyond me.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:15 
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The fact that the bullet has a pointy tip and hence exerts maximum pressure on the target area (compared to the pressure exerted by a gun hilt or stock) is the most important factor, I'd warrant.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:15 
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12. Cars don't blow up if you shoot the petrol tank.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:15 
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MaliA wrote:
Mr Chris wrote:
How did recoilless rifles work?

Springs in the stock, I would have thought to store the energy and then release it gradually through oil filled pistons.

Recoilless weapons are less likely to have these things, as they don't have rear stocks. Think anti-aircraft bazookas.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:16 
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Craster wrote:
kalmar wrote:
Do some guns shoot some of the gases out backwards to cancel out a bit of the reaction? Or am I making that up?


If they did, surely that would equally slow down the bullet? You want to be containing the explosion and using it all to force the bullet down the barrel, don't you?


Sure, but, it might be a compromise if it was a really overpowered gun/bullet combination anyway. I dunno, I was probably thinking of the use of some gas to work the automatics on an automatic (if that's how they work)


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:17 
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Ooh!
13: You can't light petrol with a cigarette - it'll just go out.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:17 
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Grim... wrote:
Think anti-aircraft bazookas.
RPGs don't have recoil because, well, they are rocket propelled, aren't they?

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Muzzle brakes: Muzzle brakes are devices which are placed on the end of the barrel and vent the gas in some given direction to reduce recoil. Because they are more or less being used as a "retro thruster", they are indeed acting to reduce the magnitude of the overall recoil. It's worth stating that the single most effective muzzle brake I've ever felt, is the one built onto the end of the Egyptian Hakim 8mm rifle.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:18 
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Est. 1978

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kalmar wrote:
Sure, but, it might be a compromise if it was a really overpowered gun/bullet combination anyway. I dunno, I was probably thinking of the use of some gas to work the automatics on an automatic (if that's how they work)

No, you're right. Bazooka's do it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bazooka

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:18 
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<reaches for his DK book of guns>

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:18 
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14. Some ladies enjoy a face full of spoff. Include this in your sex scenes.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:18 
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Grim... wrote:
Ooh!
13: You can't light petrol with a cigarette - it'll just go out.


Indeed. Unless you heat it up first.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:19 
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That Rev Chap

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Mr Hollywood - Ignore these boring nerds and their stupid physics and carry on making excellent movies where people can stop bullets with cushions and can stand on clouds.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:19 
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Craster wrote:
The fact that the bullet has a pointy tip and hence exerts maximum pressure on the target area (compared to the pressure exerted by a gun hilt or stock) is the most important factor, I'd warrant.

Probably but then again didn't you also warrant that a hand grenade can be rendered harmless by diving on it?


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:19 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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This thread is the Richard Dawkins of Fun.

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Faith schools, scientologists and 2-D platform games.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:19 
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Gogmagog

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Ah ha:

BESA Mark 2: "The BESA fired its cartridge while the barrel was moving forward. Thus, part of the recoil was used in stopping the forward travel of the barrel."

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:20 
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14 ZOMBIES DON'T FUKCING RUN YOU FUCKS!

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:20 
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The Rev Owen wrote:
Mr Hollywood - Ignore these boring nerds and their stupid physics and carry on making excellent movies where people can stop bullets with cushions and can stand on clouds.

:this:

Die Hard would be fucking rubbish if we were directing it.


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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:20 
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markg wrote:
Craster wrote:
The fact that the bullet has a pointy tip and hence exerts maximum pressure on the target area (compared to the pressure exerted by a gun hilt or stock) is the most important factor, I'd warrant.

Probably but then again didn't you also warrant that a hand grenade can be rendered harmless by diving on it?


I didn't say it was true, I just said that I couldn't work out why it wasn't true. But yes, yes I did.

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 Post subject: Re: Dear Mr Hollywood
PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 17:21 
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Dr Lave wrote:
Also how much do bullets weigh?
Between 2 and 15 grams are good working values.


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