Be Excellent To Each Other

This morning's papers make for depressing reading.

MP IN "UP TO THE ELBOW" SHOCKER

It has come to the attention of this paper that the Right Honourable Grim... MP was caught indulging in the act of "fisting" a public schoolboy in a public toilet near to his second home in Westminster - and that the only reason the matter did not come to court was due to a typographical error on the initial arrest warrant. Furthermore, the documents seem to show that Grim... then claimed the lawyers' fees incurred during this incident as parliamentary expenses.

MINSTER CAUGHT WITH ILLEGAL MENAGERIE OF MEPHITIDS

Minister for ludicrous hats the Right Honourable Mr Dave had his home raided last night, and police were startled to find a large collection of caged skunks. In a stark contrast to his public opinions on the matter, it appears that Mr Dave had something of a secret skunk fetish, as many of them were dressed in pretty little outfits. It is unknown what further action is to be taken.


Both Grim... and Mr Dave have resigned in disgrace. Grim... was the spin doctor, and Mr Dave was a party faithful.


With 12 players remaining, 7 votes are required for an expulsion. This session will end at 10pm Friday.


[playerlist]
Kalmar
Curiosity
The Rev Owen
Malc
myp
Mr Chris
Mr Dom
Superdupergill
Morte
zaphod79
Runcle
Plissken
[/playerlist]

Well, that's pretty crap.

Malc

Well, piss.

/storms out

Well that's a bit fucking shit, if you'll pardon my unparliamentary language.

Oh dear.

Oh, bollocks.

Well, phooey.

Bloody hell, this a terrible time for parliament-WTF are we going to do now!
( I'm not in my [constituency] today and so have more time for this [parliament].)

[vote:myp]

I should never have changed my vote. He's as evil as the day is long.

Ok, curiosity started the vote for Joans however I don't know how much info we can take from that since Mr Dave was in agreement with him and despite the recent scandal concerning the aforementioned right honourable gentleman,he was ultimately proven to be faithful to the party.
For now though, FOS @ curiosity.
Plissken was quick to join in with that vote,so maybe he should be tested during prime ministers question time?
I'm on my iPhone so it's more difficult for me to read back through,anyone else want to pick up where I left off with Joans voters?

All of my expenses that were submitted were done so clearly within the rules. I regret nothing and will pay back nothing.

[vote:Curiosity]

Simple reasoning for a first day.

Time was of the essence as the bar was about to open session was going to end. On Day 1, it is largely random anyway so it probably best for the Party to reach some kind of consensus.

And based on his postings, I felt that Mr Dave was the Journalist and therefore would be of benefit to the Party.

Well, myp jumped on the Joans bandwagon when it looked like an expulsion from the party was looking likely, which seems a bit suspicious, but so did Grim... and he turned out to be a goodie, so I'm not sure how much to read into that.

I'm also a little bit suspicious of Curiosity for jumping in with the vote, but the first person to vote always looks suspicious, so I don't want to read too much into that, either.

Where's Grand Moff Tarkin when you need him?

I'm more than happy to jump on the first knee-jerk reaction, based on the flimsiest of anecdotal evidence, particularly if it's the complete opposite of what the 'so called experts' (i.e. those who are actually trained proffesionals in the relevant field for at least 15 years) say in their silly little reports (i.e. those huge publicly funded inquiries we asked them to make)

And according to the Daily Star, Curiosity apparently had something to do with a gang related knife attack on a feline once.
[vote: Curiosity]

I voted for lots of people yesterday to gauge reactions. I actually started the bandwagons for myp, Runcle and Joans.

I also, however, vehemently defended Mr Dave, and he was a good guy.

I think myp has been trying to be elusive. After one vote from me he voted me back immediately, trying to play it off as something we always do. I voted him again today and he's done the same.

He's playing like he has something to lose, and chances are the people with something to lose are not loyal party members.

Tish and piffle, the Right Honourable Gentleman seems to be unfit for government as he clearly does not know what he is talking about.

I can confirm that he does like shooting cats, and also eats dogs.

This is not going well. I urge my Honourable members to stay the course.

Grim... didn't seem averse to having you lynched, and he would know if you're a definite good guy. You don't strike me as someone without a role.

You're a baddie, myp. A nasty rebel or a muck-raker.

RESIGN!!!

I will not waver. I will not walk away. I will get on with the job.

I agree with Curiosity, oddly enough.

Did anyone vote for Grim... yesterday?

Oh for the.. Heck and tarnation upon us!

That's what happens when you trust Mr Dave, people.

I'm more convinced by Curiosity's attack than myp's defence, because it would be strange of rebel scum to be quite so openly hostile. So, for that reason, for now I shall [vote:myp], but if he does turn out to be a faithful member of our party then I'll be highly, highly suspicious of Curiosity and may well see his all-out attack as the (double?) bluff of a scummy rebel.

Perhaps Curio has been whipped to vote for myp?

Ooh, I hadn't thought of that.

I assure you, I am not under the whip. I am doing this of my own volition as a member of the loyal party faithful.

I am a member of the loyal party faithful, though, so you cannot be doing this as a responsible member of the party. You are being reckless in the extreme, sir. Do you wish for the party to disintegrate from within?

This is like a fight in the playground. Myp and Curio facing up to each other and the rest of us watching to see what happens.

[vote: Mr Dom]

As I'm sure the other members of the house are aware, this is only my second session in parliament and as such I cannot claim to be fully aware of the finer details of the system. From what I have gathered however, it seems the right honourable gentleman myoptika and the right honourable gentleman curiosity have a well documented mistrust of each other during these parliamentary sessions.
Forgive my idle speculation but is it possible that messers myp and curio could be using this image of themselves to their own advantage if they were both rebels, by making it impossible for the other members of the house to choose one more dastardly than the other and therefore abstain from voting for either?
Obviously before I entertain this thought properly I shall table a motion for our party to commission a report to be undertaken by a neutral party,published under a blaze of publicity and then widely ignored.

Some ramblings :

Who's left :

1 Party Leader
0 Spin Doctor (Grim...)
1 Chief Whip
0-1 Dedicated Journalist
1 Muckraker
2-4 Rebels
4-8 Party Faithful (Joans , Mr Dave)

12 players left

1 leader / chief whip / muckraker plus the journalist is an interesting character so i think it will be in here is 4 'characters'

Leaves '8' unknowns and my guess would be 5 faithful / 3 rebels

So there are 7 'goodies' , 4 'baddies' and the journalist left

And the 'baddies' have 2 'killing' roles , the rebels and the muckraker

The only revealed role is Grim... and the only person who could stand up for him is the party leader but I cant see anything from yesterday where he needed backing up in any way so that doesnt really help.

If for the party we expell a 'goodie' , then i think its pretty much game over (the baddies may hit the journo but otherwise we'd be down to 4 each already - and as the journalist your going to thrown your weight behind the rebels.)

BTW i think the muckraker is going to struggle to get the game to last 5 nights for their win condition !

I am suspicious that Runcle managed to avoid being dropped out and the coins *still* havent made an apperance so he's probably top of my list right now

Mr Speaker.
The Right Honorable Gill has a good theory about myp vs curio, but on balance I think they're probably OK, largely because they're being too talkative and sticking their necks out a bit with the tit for tat voting.

Our villainous rebels are still likely to be "the quiet ones". Clearly we got it wrong with Joans, but a first day gamble is just that, and it was lead with fair intention by a loyal man.
Joans said almost nothing, implying absence from the house. A real rebel would chip in the token bit of banter (enough to make it appear as if he's earning his pay) and keep away from any controversial subject.

This is why, Mr Speaker, I recommend Mr Dom. I invite the other loyal members of this side of the house to examine his speech making and voting record, never mind his expenses.

I think we shgould expel superdupergill, shes made accusations towards plissken and curiosity, whereas if she herself has a dubious history we can rule out plissken and curiosity of having any similar dirty dealings.

Im supicious about people who are suspicious about the retiring of the coins. They are not retired indefinetly but for the time being until law persists that the coins must be tossed.

Oof. Bad plan, very reckless. Randomly lynching someone to get info is fine on day one but now we need to be more careful. Or are you trying to lead us astray?

Getting rid of our only fememememale member of parliament? Are you mad? Who's going to make the tea?

That is a terrible stutter you have there, Mr Chris.

Kalmar... why Mr Dom?

Is this the wild finger pointing of a man who fears his time is up so he will slander as many of the party faithful as he can in retaliation?!
I hope the speaker can draw the parliaments attentions to the debate which has been taken place in this very chamber. We have had no information at all from the revelations of sleaze and scandal which have rocked this party during these turbulent times. All we know is that there are rebels in our midst, and I have to agree with the right honourable kalmar-we should look for the members who have been engaging in witty banter without saying anything constructive.

See my speech above. I think his post frequency and content so far is dead on for that of a badguy trying to blend in.

Plus he's dropping very heavy hints about "press" and "newspapers" every time. It's way fishy, and I don't believe him.

If I am without portfolio tomorrow, you'll know I was on the right track.

Parliament moves too fast for me when I'm on the bus in a poor signal area!
Mr Chris I'll have you know that to strengthen the economy of my constituency i no longer drink tea and instead only take irn bru or whisky, so you shall have to hire a tea maker on expenses. Perhaps a relative could do it...?

You know, its almost like we had a Journalist in the Party.

Possibly we do, but I doubt they would drop hints about their role in such a heavy-handed way. So it's far more likely to be a fake to ward off lynching. Therefore, he's probably a rebel, in my humble guess.

Sounds like a good call to me.

I'm sticking with Myp for now, though Mr Chris is also on my radar, the baddie that he assuredly is.

Its not randomly lynching though. Its just as reckless as going for someone quietish, such as yesterday.
Although you denoucing this strategy and gill agreeing similar playing plans, I'd say you would be suspicious looking if Gill turned out to be a rebel. So by expelling gill we could potentially know the possible roles for 3 players.
Although if she has no prior history of wrongful doings, we'll have to make some up to deal with that embarrassment and I guess the identities of you, plissken, and curiosity will still be unknown.

Question about going for Mr Dom, if hes potentially a journalist is it wise to lynch him when he could be in favour of helping our party?

I'm a little unconvinced, but only a little. If noone else pops up on the radar he may be a good bet for a day 2 choice.


Might I ask why you are smearing a faithful Party member such as myself? Is it, perchance, because you are a muckraking bounder of the first water?

Hang on - have you not considered that it could be a double bluff in that case? You couldn't rule out Plissken and Curio on the basis of that at all.

@runcle I think that is too risky a strategy though, we have taken such a hit on the first day and night that we really need to be careful now.
If I was voted for and proved to be innocent,you get no info since kalmar could still be a journalist or a rebel.
If I was voted for and proved to be a journalist you get no info because the journalist doesn't know other people and isn't known by other people.
If I get voted for and proved to be a rebel it's still no info because then you'd have to start asking if the rebels would be daft enough to agree on something,even if it just the most common tactic for this stage. The odds are too poor for those reasons, for me or anyone else in that sort if situation. So maybe we should hold off on myp and curiosity just now as well? The mr Dom vein of thought is a sensible one,but I'm in no rush,we have time to see if anyone is going to trip themselves up.

Honourable, and not so honourable gentlepersons of indeterminate gender, I am only wittering about papers as that is the true guiding force of policy.

If you truly fancy stringing me up to find out that I am but a humble Party Faithful, then feel free, but I would fear that it would the deed that allowed those fractious and rather smelly rebels to have their wicked way with the party.

Personally, I think all this nonsense about toads & skunks is suspiciously 'French', one only has to remember 'Pepe le Pew' is a skunk.
Very suspicious.

I dunno, it just seems very vague, I don't think you could reach any conclusion whatever way it turns out. I mean, you're talking about mild fingerpointing / or backup of arguments, not even voting for them.

If we're talking about voting, you voted for both Mr Dave and Joans so far. Ooops!



"Could be". But then, that's what he'd want you to think

Since my ramblings haven't made anyone at all look suspicious, I've decided a new research method is needed. Although the research has got many inklings to me myself I have to say Zaphod is popping as suspicious.

Through looking at the previous days events Zaphod decided to vote for me at a time I was the most voted for, although it only put it to 3 votes but it was a nice cushion place for a rebel to hide within. To add more to that, that was the only time zaphod said a word unless my ears fooled me. So hes been quite quiet.

As for today, hes been playing the helpful role, showing the current terrible situation of the party, another recurring tactic of rebellious members of other parties such as the purple fudge and tiptop party. And again he voted for me on the base the coins hadnt made an appearance, a fruitless assumption if I had heard one.

My other votes may have been dubious and regretful but join with me in expelling this zaphod character from our most excellent party.

[vote: zaphod79]

I dont think I'll be able to attend anymore of todays discussions as from now till the end of the day I am recording a charity single with Noel Edmonds and the reanimated corpse of Fred Perry to produce a song for no armed children for Wimbledon.

[vote:Runcle]