Be Excellent To Each Other

Oh dear.

http://www.konami.jp/kojima_pro/next/

the fact that his games are universally praised in mainstream magazines just shows that this industry can never be accepted in the same way as movies or music.

When i went to see videogames live, and when all the crowd went nuts just by hearing METAL GEAR SOLID or FINAL FANTASY made me feel embarrassed to be near all these people.

Why? The music is great.

No, it can't be. He said he wasn't going to do another one. He promised. Swore on his Mother's life and everything. "No, I'm not going to do another one of those", he said.

He wouldn't lie, would he?

bah, it's just soulless and faceless orchestral stuff.

*cut scene showing he wouldn't*

*presses buttons*

*cut scene showing Kojima shouting "You know I said I wouldn't do another? I lied! Muhahaha!"

*cut scene*

*push stick forward on joypad*

*cut scene showing Kojima saying "you know my previous lie? It was a lie. I lied about lying to you. I did it for your own good. Even though by not lying in the first place, it would have been better. Kojima then dies*

*push stick on joypad. Press buttons.*

*cut scene*

*cut scene showing Kojima shouting triumphantly "You know how I died? I lied!"*

(That is enough MGS5 - Ed.)

Fixed for added realism.

Im hoping the obvious nods towards MGS5 are just red herrings to something that isnt another MGS.
Even before the 5 appeared there was bits in the source code with tags like 'MGS5'.

It's just as likely to be this mysterious Project 'S', isn't it?

Metal Gear 5olid.

Or, if it was by the makers of thief 4

Me5al gear solid

You mean Met5l Gear Solid.

I spent a while trying to drcide where the 5 would look most stupid. I came to no real conclusions.

Like this:

55555 5555 55555.

I went by the assumption that in Th41f they changed an e(3) to a 4, so I changed the a(4) to a 5.

Yeah, but that just says Metal Gear Solid. Where's the version number?

In the first cutscene.

55555 5555 S5555.

Sorted.

I'd quite like to see Metal Gear: So Solid Crew.

Top Gear Solid would be great, although a 70 minute cutscene with Jeremy Clarkson might be a bit too much.

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA "POWAAAAAAAAAH" DAKKA DAKKA

This is the best Metal Gear...






...in the world.

You're all wrong. This is Hideo "Kojima" Cunthead-Smythe we're talking about. Clearly, the title is "Metal Gfive Solid."

Also, are we sure this is a countdown to an announcement about the game, and not the actual game itself? It is significantly more interactive than the last one, after all. Better story, too.

"Snake/Jeremy - we want you to come out of retirement, sneak around a huge enemy complex, kill a psychic, sniper, invisible ninja, tank and massive robot rail-gun thing and not die."
"How hard can it be?"

"And while you're doing all that, Hammond and May will be racing you to the objective on a train. Get there first."

"We'll catch up that later, but now it is time for this weeks Star in a Reasonably Priced Metal Gear."


"And now it is time to hand it over to our tame covert operative. Some say that his knees face backward, and that he has an annoying habit of saying 'hnnngh' when surprised... all we know is, he's called the Snake."

"Good news!"
"What!"
"The new Metal Gear"
"What about it?"
"It's going to have multi-tactical nuke capability!"
"Excellent. Now, Ferrari."

Hammond couldn't even drive a car really fast. He's got no hope in a metal gear. Cushion on the seat anyone?

You'd never manage a good lap time in Top Gear Solid. Every 3 seconds some cunt would be calling you on the codec and you'd have to stop and have a 10 minute conversation about his tortured past.

Also...

GAME OVER

"Hamster, what happened? Hamster? HAAAAAAAAAAAMSTER!"

"I'm telling you, the Metal Gear is not cool. You pull up outside Kristin Scott-Thomas' house in one of these and she's going to go 'No, sorry, I think I'm going to take a cab'."

"Ah. That didn't go well!"
"Top Metal Gear - ambitious but rubbish."

TOTW

I didn't look in this thread for ages because I thought 'A thread about Metal Gear Solid? Boring!'

I should have guessed that of course, this thread is only a wee bit about Metal Gear Solid and a wee bit about Top Gear. Either way, huge lolz this way lie. Awesome work.

I was just about to nominate for Thread of the Week and Curio's typo suddenly makes sense!

TOTW!

Man, I said thread a lot in this post. Thread thread thread. What a strange word. I have overused it I think.

"I've started the countdown. You have two minutes to the end of the world!"
"Oh.. cock."

It would work well. Clarkson would be the Colonel, Hammond would be veteran operative Hardened Hamster, May would be Otacon, Kirsten Scott Thomas would be the bitchy doctor... and John Bentley as the ninja.

And Jason Dawe as that fat bloke on roller skates.



Come to think of it, that was the moment, after loving the first MGS, I went... No. I can take some silliness, but someone, somewhere should have said.... roller skates?

I dunno, Im pretty sure Id buy MGS5

After the slating 4 got, I didnt bother and sold my first ps3. Now on my 2nd ps3 I got it new for £13 and really enjoying it. Its just MGS but prettier, granted, but I like MGS.

I havent seen any 70 minute cutscene yet however. Does anyone know which act it is in?

I believe it's at the end of the game.

I recall the first game... I had just beaten Metal Gear Rex (which is a lengthy and somewhat challenging battle) and the game immediately goes into a cutscene. Ten or fifteen minutes in, my parents called me for dinner. I couldn't pause it, couldn't save the game... I had to switch it off and do the whole thing again later. It was easily 30 minutes long if not more. Hell, there must be at least an hour worth of barely animated 'videotape' exposition to watch before starting the game, if you wish.

Kojima loves this stuff. There was a similarly long 'all is revealed... or is it!' scene in Snatcher, including a ludicrous conversation where a villain stands there and lets our hero and his injured comrade discuss their plan to escape for about three minutes. They're laying right there! And the villain (and evil robots) are standing right in front of them! And all he has to say is 'are you two finish chatting? Then it's time for you to die!'.

And this is before the incredibly long ending cutscene in which all is REALLY revealed.

you can pause the MGS4 ones

If you ever need to pause a cutscene, it's too long.

I wouldn't mind game cutscenes if they were genuinely as good as a film and looked as good. They're not, though.

Let's not forget the 90 minute (I think, I never timed it but it certainly felt that long) cutscene in MGS2 just before/during/after the point where Arsenal Gear crashes into Manhattan.

That Nicklas Bendtner, eh?

Depends on what you want from the game. Blanket statements aren't always right.

I like cock.

I only discover the ability to pause cutscenes when I mash buttons trying to skip them. If I genuinely want to watch a cutscene, I never risk pressing anything such is the inconsistent nature of videogames in this respect, lest I end up skipping it and never being able to go back.

Only ten hours to gozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yeah, this. There really needs to be a guide to things like this given to all games developers, and if they ever deviate from it they are immediately fired, banned from all further work with games, and possibly beaten with clubs. Simple things, like reconfigurable controls, "Esc"/"Start" for pause (with the option to skip), individual audio bars for music/sound/voices, that kind of thing. Experimentation is all well and good, but not with the basic things that work and are commonly understood. You wouldn't make a car with the brake and accelerate pedals switched around just to be original, so fuck off with your obscure key combinations, Hypothetical Shooter II.



Agreed, though I must say that the cut scenes in MGS4 were done in the same engine as the game itself, and on the whole were rather impressively animated and textured (if a tad grey in parts). Absolutely everything else about them remains genocide-invitingly awful, of course, but I must give precisely one iota of respect for the graphics.

I think I enjoyed the MGS4 final cut scene more than the Mighty Boosh, which at least puts some perspective on things.

the only cutscenes that i remind being absolutely lovely are the ones from Diablo 2. I think i don't remember much more cutscenes. Unless you count Shadow of the Beast 2 intro as a cutscene.