Be Excellent To Each Other

Not a big deal. What have they done lately, apart from Prey?

They're a relic of the late 1990s. I have a PC Gamer from 1997 showing shots of Duke Nukem Forever running in the Quake 2 engine. 12 years later, with fuck all to show for it, I'm not surprised they've folded. There's no game that could surive that long a development period - consider that the GTA franchise has started and evolved from a sprite-based top-down action game into the astonishing open world that it is now. I won't say more - there have been plenty of articles detailing what the rest of the game industry has achieved while DNF has floundered.

DNF. Did Not Finish.

Nukem Forever, Receivership Never! Nukem Forever, Receivership Never!

Oh.

(Excuse me while I chuckle at the expense of fanboys eagerly awaiting. I know, I'm cruel.)

Are there really that many Duke Nukem fanboys? I had the feeling that if DNF was ever completed it would have been released to pretty much worldwide indifference.

In the words of the old gits.

Ni, good.

No new Duke Nukem game? I think for a long time we've all knew that it was a toss up between a new Duke Nukem or US Gold finally releasing Street Fighter 2 on the CPC. Still, we can dream.....



Excellently some tools in the comments section have fallen for it as well.

I wonder if I should go after them for the $10 pre order fee I gave them in.. wait for it.... 2002

Back when Gamestop in the USA was called Funco Land I went in and paid my $10 for the impending release. I waited the 3 months until the release date they had given and it never came. What I should have done was gone and got my money back instead of falling for the B.S on their site.

Sadly Funco Land went out of business and so I kicked off on their forum. They banned me for calling the game Dook Nookem Nevahhh !

TBH I'm delighted they are out of business. Even a couple of months ago they were posting more screenshots of their game thinking people would care.

Since they rumoured it we have had games like Half Life 2, Halo 2, Fallout3 etc. There is just no way the game would have even been worth a shit.

So good fucking riddance to the shit talking wankers.

To be perfectly honest, its a shame... the world needs more Duke Nukem.

When they should have released this we didn't even have Fallout ONE.

Right, then.... let's come up with stuff that has come from nothing in the time since Duke Nukem Forever's planned release...

-The entire Call of Duty series
-The entire GTA series
-The Sims
-Haaaaalooooo
-Half-Life and its 'family' of games
-Unreal
-Gran Turismo
-Fallout
-Gayness Ex and its sequel, Gayness Ex 2: Electric Boogaloo
-Medal of Honour
-Battlefield series
-five increasingly mindbogglingly complex editions of Flight Simulator (98 was the start of the quantum leaps seen in FS2000 onwards)
-Thief series
-The rise and collapse of Ion Storm
-Tomb Raider

For serious?
People do this?

What, pre-order shit? Yes.

For realz munnies though?

It's not (or wasn't) unheard of to put down a deposit, no.

Crikey. I'm obviously out of touch on release day madness.

<thinks>

Actually, I don't buy computer games that often.

Yeah, think of all the fun you miss by not sitting in queues outside shops at midnight, going around ten stores to find nine of them have sold out of the game and the tenth is gouging, or waiting in all day for Postman Twat to just hoy the parcel over your garden wall and fuck off without even knocking.

I send MrsA out on her lunch break.

Even diseases get lunch breaks? Crikey moses!

She's got the monies.

I are poorsocks.

It occurs to me that 'MrsA' means she's 'Mrs Afterthought'. I doubt she'd appreciate that!

Oh, she would. She's dying for a wedding.

Aha! So she'ss MissA or MsA!

Technically, she's MissL, now, but that would cause confusion, hence the MrsA moniker.

Hehe... when she's mad is she a ballistic MissL?

I do wonder if 2K will hustle Duke Nukem through development and just get it out the freakin' door already.

a bit like doom 3

Is that the hugely anticipated Doom 3 that sold by the bucketload?

It would likely be a solid if underwhelming shooter. It would likely be criticised for linearity and that it (quite rightly) seems to be over a decade out of date in terms of design.

I pre ordered that too. Only because you got a nice pewter statue of a fat ogre and a poster.

Still have the poster, sold the pewter statue on ebay.

I quite liked Doom 3. For the first few days it scared the absolute living shit out of me and then like all other Doom titles it failed to change in any way to keep me interested. Last year I did the God mode thing and completed it just to see, and it really wasn't much to write home about.

It did look absolutely amazing at the time though. Still remember my Geforce 5950u chucking it around like noone's business.

I completed Doom 3 on the Xbox without cheating. I enjoyed it enough to pick up the expansion pack.

As for DNF?

It would have been a flop for so many reasons.. 90% of the fans of the game were only fans because at the time it was daring, brave and different.

The odd swear word and semi clad dancing bird on a pole. Few stupid posters on the walls* and so on.

We've seen it all since then. Psycho in Crysis Warhead swears like a train, we've humped prostitutes and our girlfriends in the GTA series and we've had all kinds of filth and humour from our games.

Ten years ago Duke was the coolest. Now if he came out with one of his dumb one liners we would all groan because it's been done to death.

*The funniest things I ever saw on a DN game were in the N64 version.. Can't remember the one, it was in 3rd person. They had two posters on the wall of a parking garage, taking the piss out of the competition. You had "Bolok, Dinosaur hunter" and "Brown Eye"

Then you'll no doubt be as excited as I am about this

http://www.wolfenstein.com/

I never played RTCW - is it worth picking up?

The older one? yes. I have it here somewhere. It's great.

Has some lovely twists

RTCW gets a bit interminable -- I thought the more fantastic enemies of the latter levels kinda spoiled things. There's something about WWII and wintry scenes that just (cough) Fritz, though.

Well I for one would've been interested in playing Duke Nukem Fornever. I even enjoyed Prey.

I would've played it too... but I harbour doubts that a design doc over a decade old could really stand up these days.

I doubt the design doc stayed constant over those years though.

I don't think that it did, really, but there had to have been some kind of underlying basis that was very old - they were, after all, making a Duke Nukem game which would mean lots of crude humour and setpieces. And Duke's humour is very much a product of what could be gotten away with in its time. Strippers (not nudey ladies) who just stand there and don't do anything. The odd swear word, loads of toilet humour.

Compared to contemporary stuff like Riddick, Saints Row or GTA, it would feel positively tame. But, if they changed it and brought it up to date with proper swears, tits and such... it wouldn't be Duke Nukem.

Design schmasign. I still enjoy Duke Nukem on XBLAH now.

Yep, I would have loved to have played DNF. However the more I read about the development history, the more I'm convinced that the DNF development was a tax dodge of some kind.

Is George Broussard now the biggest man in the world, and he's made of gold?

"14 CARAT GOLD!"

That was for a long time my fave bit in the Simpsons.

"Hey Homer, y'look kinda different. You get a haircut or something?"

"LOOK CLOSER LENNY."

"Hey! That's right! You're the biggest man in the world now, an' - an' you're made out of gold!"

"FOURTEEN CARAT GOLD!"

After rewatching Series 2 (which I'm surprised how good and clever and funny it is) I think I now like Mr Burns throwing hot tea over Smither's front, shouting, "PAH! TOO HOT!"

And then Homer is even bigger, and covered in jewels, towering over Springfield laughing with malevolent victory. Excellence.

I suppose my favourite bit is...

KENT: Kent Brockman here at the Aztec Theatre where kidnapper Homer Simpson and hostage Larry Burns are inside, talking loudly!

MARGE: Ooooh, Homey, give yourself up!

BART: No dad, shoot your way out!

*angry Marge murmur*

HOMER bursts angrily out of the doors of the theatre and charges at the police. A hail of bullets cuts him down. He slumps to the floor, dead.

BART, LISA AND MARGE: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

KENT: A bloody end for Homer Simpson... ...is just one of several possible outcomes according to our computer simulation!

Gameplay footage surfaces.

And as I suspected it uses the same 'engine' as Doom 3 which is how many years old now?

I mean it looks O.K but compared to stuff like Crysis and Far Cry 2 it looks kinda dated.

There's a really big list of this stuff here. It points out that the whole of World War II, which included (of course) the Manhatten Project, took less time than the aborted dev effort for DNF.

What's even funnier is that until last week, that list itself hadn't even been updated since 2005, which means that, for example, in the time since DNF became too tired a joke to even be worth keeping track of, Barack Obama was sworn in as a Senator and then fought the longest presidential campaign in US history.

Looks schmucks.

Who looks like a schmuck? You shmendrick.

Mmm. Well that was... interesting.

I thought it looked supah bonzo. I would've liked to play that. Like the throwball ground boss fight, and the clambering to rip off horns thing.