Be Excellent To Each Other

With the 8 Bit Challenge reaching the end of its current run (to return later in the year) my thoughts have turned to the main site. Redefine keys to QAOP Space" or whatever it's called. I'm supposed to be a sub-ed or something on the main site BUT I'VE NEVER LIFTED A FUCKING FINGER.... Ahem.

The site is in need of content and it is up to Grim us to generate this.

So this fact combined with my our love of X-Box 8 bit games has been lingering on my mighty brain.

I'll periodically post links to two games in this thread. You'll be invited to play these games and then post your comments for inclusion in a review of the game as well as a rating. Your comment may be between 50-150 words + a rating using the totally shit system devised by committee that nobody understands as opposed to the far superior and self explanatory banana system.

So each review will take the form of a couple of hundred words about the game written by me or a volunteer which is factual, but doesn't pass strong comment.

Then beneath that we have your opinions from this thread + your ratings.

It'll make sense once we get going. In a short while I will post links to the first two games. We'll see how we go from there.

We also need a name for this section, so I am open to suggestions.

Nice idear. How about "Suck my Bitties"

Cracking idea.

"Same old shit and a few extra bits"

"Through Rose Tinted Speccies"

In honour of old filthy cartridges why not 'give it a good blow'.

World Of Chinny. It would need a picture of a young chinny with a trendy haircut obviously.

'Sing binary to me, bitch'

How about "Lick your ("good old fashioned fun" - Ed) off my ("loading mechanism" - Ed), bitch"?

Our first games are:

CJ's Elephant Antics on the Speccy:



http://www.itsmalta.net/archives/games/CJsElephantAntics128.zip


And Ranarama on the CPC:



ftp://ftp.nvg.ntnu.no/pub/cpc/games/arcade/ranarama.zip
http://tacgr.emuunlim.com/downloads/filedetail.php?recid=724



In terms of playing the games, CJ is a straightforward platformer. Controls are QAOP and space fires. Hold down space to throw a bomb.

Ranarama is also keyboard and joystick. You play a wizard who has been turned into a frog and needs to escape the dungeons. Find the 8 wizards in each dungeon and touch then. You then have about 15 seconds to rearrange the words to spell "RANARAMA". When you do this you then have to dash around and collect the runes. Then find a rune square and you can cast spells to enhance your life force, firepower and defence. Other squares (shaped like suns) kill everything else in the room. Also some squares take you to other levels, but beware if your firepower or lifeforce spells are low level you will soon die!

Enjoy. Any questions just ask and when you post your comments please can they be between 50-150 words and clearly marked. Oh and use the scoring system the main site does.

Cheers ears.

"Obscure games that I felt smugly superior about having played and loved until the internet ruined everything."

Ironically it appears that CJ does indeed require you to press up to jump.

"Take me down to the colour clash city, where the sprites ain't clean or the backgrounds pretty." - could well be the opener for that game. Time has not been kind and that scrolling is truly appalling.

801 bananas. Would get more but it is rather long.

Needs to be short, snappy and YS'ish.

Surely it should be called Chinny's Bits and Bobs?

I like it! On two whole levels.

I don't want to personalize it though as when we get going other people could also collate stuff. The aim to to help find a way to get the forum generating content for the main site.

I'd like to submit this as my review for Perfect Dark.

Press Shift & Run/Stop

Press Play Then Any Key

LOAD ""

obviously.

"Internet killed my ego"?

Or you could acronymifitise it to OGTIFSSAHPALUTIRE, which would have the side effect of attracting elf-touchers who'd mistake it for some kind of magical realm.

,8,1

Guru Meditation!

Or J, Symbol Shift+P, Symbol Shift+P
But that's a lot less catchy.

16 bit you dolt!

'8 Bit Bash'

That's what I'd call it. Because the reviews will probably mostly point out how rubbish those old games were

I have decided.

It will be "Press Play Then Any Key".

All complaints should be addressed to Mr Dimrill at the complaints department. I can't guarantee he'll read them but he might certainly eat them.

You mean

Up to fire would've been incredibly shit though

Have 900 bananas for being correct.

[stands and salutes picture of Sir Alan]

It worked for Galaxy Force II.

That's wrong, it should be "PRESS PLAY ON TAPE".

Or, more accurately (if you had my Speccy) R TAPE LOADING ERROR.

I had a dream about Chinny last night, and he was an old, old man.

The Internet 8 bit my Amstrad.

I had a dream that you took me and Perkoise round to see your grandparents in your shitty red car.

My car is not shitty.

When we arrived they handed both me and Perks a pen, just in case we wanted to write anything down. I remember thinking this was an excellent idea and that I must do that for each guest I had in my house when I got back home. Your grampies had an orange x-box because they'd finished paying their mortgage off. On leaving, your Granma kept giving Perks a peck on the cheek all the way to the shitty red car. Then we went to your house and found Ange covered in gippynigs.

Awesome.

Still no sign of me in your dreams then?

I don't remember them all I only startled that out when That Shite mentioned his dream up there.

Rather than talk shit, why not talk about the games themselves. Eh? Eh?

That wasn't a dre[sound of someone being run over by a trundling C5]

You need a topic icon, man. Then the mods will digligently keep your thread clean.

[edit]Oh. Err...

If I find out you are dreaming about me but only telling the other boys about it I'll be very annoyed. Consider this a warning.

Chinny, how many pounds will this be costing?

Then why doesn't anyone wish to buy it?

Kettle on line 2.

If the topic item was working properly not only would this all be staying on-topic, but the mods would be beating all and sundry around the head with a banning stick.

All I can comment on is CJs Elephant Antics. Which I played on the spectrum. The simultaneous two player mode meant it, along with the sequel, got plenty of play back in the day. However, now it's sluggish handling, and the lack of a second player, mean I have no desire to play it again.

In the end I lent it to my chum Paul and never saw it again. He gave me something truly excretiable in return, involving cavemen and dodgy collision detection.

My comment on CJ:

Back in 1991 this game was alot of fun. For a mere 4 quid you got a game that emulated the platformers you saw on the NES. However fast forward to today and the game feels slow and fiddly. Gameplay is hampered by the terrible scrolling which combines with colour clash for one unholy mess (and a mighty headache). That said, smaller screens are kinder to the game so you might want to try it on your DS.

D

It's too good for a bunch of students and dolescum.