Be Excellent To Each Other

I lived in the states blah blah fucking blah boring etc.

Whilst out there I lived in a town called Hammonton which was in NJ (noo joissey).

Hammonton produces more blueberries per square foot than anywhere in the world. Thus, it has been nicknamed "Blueberry capital of the world !"

Because of this there are a lot of mexican immigrant workers, and thus, mexican 'food holes' (little tiny holes in the wall that produce food to die for).

My ex wife and I used to avoid Taco Hell etc and get our food from these places, simply as it was incredible and 100% authentic.

I used to talk to the women who ran it (that was their job, blokes were all out in the fields) and one let me into one of her dishes she made at home. Since then I've made it for everyone in my family and all of my friends, and they all love it.

So, let's get started shall we?

Ingredients.

Soft shell tortillas (my fave are corn, but the new salsa ones are yumzel). You'll use 3-4 of these.

1 jar salsa. Anything from black bean to habanero etc.

1 pack of either Taco seasoning or Fajita seasoning. I only use Old El Paso, all the others are fucking rank tbh. This decision will change the dish dramatically, even though it will look similar.

1/2 onion.

4-6 small mushrooms.

1/2 can of chopped or plum tomatos (youll have to chop them yourself if they're whole plum).

1/2 lb of minced meat ? I've used everything from Turkey, Chicken, Beef and Quorn (so this can be 100% veggie dish).

Some olive oil.

Couple of handfuls of grated cheese (this time I'm well off so had the ready grated shit).

Optional. Some doritoes for a top crunch.

Optional. Green peppers, red peppers, jalepenos, habaneros. Today I had to behave myself because I was cooking for Mummy and Mummy doesnt like peppers (they repeat on her).

Needed hardware.

1 wok (a frying pan aint gonna do).
1 chef knife.
1 bamboo spatula or wooden spoon (the spatula is roxors for seperating the mince if using meat or fowl).
1 Casserole dish or large Yorkshire pudding pan.
1 fish slice, preferably plastic to remove it once done.

Let's get the fuck going then shall we?

First, take your pick. I have a carrier bag full of spices, ready mixed, chili powders etc.

Today I am picking Fajita mix, but it was a bloody close call.



And a rough overlook of everything you need all laid out (because I am autistic and can't do this any other way).



OK. So we begin with taking our brilliant swedish chef knife (ahem) and chopping the onions nice and fine and the mushrooms.

Like this.



(yes I use a smallish knife, I have small hands !).

At which point you put some olive oil in your wok and add in the meat (or quorn) the onions and the mushrooms. Something like this.



And slowly start poking, stirring and flipping with your spatula.



Keep it moving ! if not the mince will form and wont be all nice and seperated.



And when done, it will look like this.



Now set your oven to 200c, like this.



And, going back to what you're doing pull the meat to one side to show how much shit is in even Turkey. This pic would be twice as bad if this was beef. You can skip this step when using quorn as it's really dry, but you'll need more oil in the pan to stop it sticking.



Eurgh. Fucking gross. Pour that shit down the sink, then bring it back to the stove top.

Add the tomatoes, add the salsa (half a tin/pot of each) like this.



Keep it moving for about 2-3 mins to heat the salsa and tomatoes now mixed to pan temps.

Add the spice (half a pack).



Stir for another minute, then bring down to a simmer.. Leave simmering for about 5 mins, in which time take your casserole dish or Yorkshire pan and pour in some olive oil. Grab a paper towell and smear it all around, like this. THIS IS CRUCIAL !!!!



Now. Take your wokfull of mixture off the heat. Turn off the burner.

Then, take one soft shell tortilla and carefully cut it to fit, pressing it into the bottom of the dish/pan. Like this.



Spoon in half of the mixture in the wok, smoothing it over like a bricklayer doing his pointing. then add some cheese (this will melt and bind it all together later).



Put another tortilla over that, cut it to fit. Like this.



Now, repeat the process of spooning in the other half of the mixture, smoothing it off and adding cheese.

Then, add the last of the tortillas and sprinkle some cheese over the top. Like this.



Then put it in the oven. Bye bye taco pie, it's been fun !



Now, set a timer for 7 mins. But not one like mine because it sounds like a bomb ticking. Hey, it works though.



7 minutes later open up your oven, get on the oven glove and look what you have. Fucking gorgeous.



Leave it for about 5-10 mins to cool. If you don't? first of all you'll burn the fuck out of yourself trying to use skill to get it out, but secondly because the cheese won't be cool enough to bind it it'll fall apart at any attempt to get it out.

Take your chef knife and cut it through the middle. Stab it, then slowly drag the knife through.. Then take your plastic egg slice and carefully dig right under the bastard and pull it out to serve. If you forgot the olive oil earlier? YOU ARE FUCKED. HA ! I TOLD YOU NER NER NA NER NER.

I'm an expert at this now. I've been doing it for years. What you should end up with on your plate (or to present your guests with) should look like this.



Absolutely incredible !

I do regret not adding any Jalepenos, but as I said Mummy can't eat them. For sheer taste and goodness this fucker is hard to beat.

Next time. We will make real genuine Philadelphia Cheese Steaks.

I have all the fixings for this at home already (mexican food ftw). If only I had the time to do it this week...

Is NJ just like in the Sopranos?

Yes. Infact, look at this.

http://www.insiderpages.com/b/15239933012

ahah. NJ looks like the ugliest place in the world, but i have to go there someday.

When you do you'll fucking love it.

It tastes like tacos, all ready to eat without all the fucking around and mess.

My Aunt cooks it all the time now, she calls it 'mexican lasagne' hehe

You can have a side salad, but it's incredibly filling. TBH? I doubt I'll eat again today. And most of it contains hardly any fat (esp if using chicken or turkey man).

Worst thing I would say is sugar in the salsa and carbs in the tortillas.

North Jersey (aka the armpit, places like Hoboken (mafia, anyone) is a fucking shit pit.

South Jersey is one of the most beautiful places I've been to on earth. That's why it's called the Garden State

yes, i remember the sopranos episode where Chris and Paulie got stranded in some woods in South Jersey. Is it also true there is an huge portuguese community there as the local media makes us believe? (i didn't noticed that on the Sopranos)

Tesco used to do a 'tex mex chili lasagna' which was very similar... it was proper lasagna except with chili beef instead of just bolognese beef, and tortillas mixed in with the cheese on the top. It was fantastic, and sustained me through university... so naturally Tesco changed the recipe to make it shit, and presumably that caused plummeting sales and then it being discontinued.

The 'Desert Salad' from the back of the original Fallout's manual is pretty damned good as well, I still make it to this day (with a few tweaks to account for the fact you can't get catalina dressing in the UK)

That's exactly what I meant when I said I don't use anything other than Old El Paso.

My bad (nay, fucking terrible) experience was with Tescos taco spice mix.

What taste? what spice? It was shit. Same goes for cheapo chili mixes. I only use O E P for that now, too.

Yes. There is a large Porto community. As also a large polish, irish, italian, mexican etc..

America is fucking excellent for that tbh. Unless you're in a state that begins with a vowell, then it's all dumbasses with no teeth (and yes, Ive experienced that first hand too, that's why I left Ohio.. Racist dumb motherfuckers).

Actually my friend Shannon (bloke) is portugese

That looks very tasty indeed.

I have a bookmark somewhere with a few dozen suggested spice mixes to replace the Old El Paso stuff. I've been meaning to try some of them out. They are much cheaper, and allow some adjustment to suit your tastes.

great episode that.

I'll need to do a comparison between the Discovery and El Paso spices to work out which is better. Certainly the El Paso taco kits are better...

When I first got back to the UK last May our Tesco didn't do the spice packs seperately so I had to buy a whole sodding kit just for the spices LOL.

Good part was you can then take a hard shell, put him in a sanger bag and smash him all up with a rolling pin and sprinkle over the top with the cheese.. D.. Fucking... Rool. Really gives the top an amazing crunch !

However, it is much cheaper to buy the spice (about 70p IIRC) and a single pack of cheese doritoes. I mean, they're the fookin same.

Sadly today was leftover night (we had this last night too LMAO !) and I only had the one pack of cheese doritoes.

But yeah, if you like hard tacos definitely sprinkle some crunch on the top

In Asda today I saw (and bought) some of those blue tortilla chips which I have not seen for sale in the UK before... and about fucking time they made it.

Ooo ! Chi Chis used to do those (and red and yellow ones).

Mind you, Chi Chis were closed down when people got hepatitus from the spring onions

This same line of chips also included a bag of multicoloured ones. I'm drooling now in anticipation of going home and eating some.

Chi Chi's... well, we used to go to one all the time in Canada (I used to get one game of Ms Pacman on one of the cocktail table machines, and then sit down to dinner and get to pick the salt off my mother's margarita glass and maybe get a small sip - those of you who know me will realize that might explain a lot) and continued to do so despite an incident where a waiter accidentally stuck a fork up my five-year-old nose.

Then it went bust... and reappeared in London, much to our bemusement. And then went bust there, too.

While this looks marvellous, consider me glaring in your general direction for the comment about pouring away all the lovely beef fat. (Fair enough for the turkey/chicken, because it's mostly water).

Might give it a try this weekend.

I love Mexican.

Should we put this with the cooking thread?

We're just about to eat Mali Curry - again!

Ooo curry eh ! I'll give him a run for his money

Lately my local 'pound shop' place has been selling tomato buhna (grossman) sauce for about 40p. So I've just been dinging that in the slow cooker with some lambchops.

Mmm.

hahaha. I have to watch what I eat man. My father died of a heart attack @ 34.

But yeah, sometimes there's nothing like some lovely copious fat and grease

Don pablos. In a nutshell it just destroys chi chis.

Lately I cook my own stuff or just make do with Chiquito's... who suffice, somewhat. The chimichangas are quite good, at least.

Anyone know where to buy jalapeno poppers? Like, frozen ones, for home consumption?

Chimichangas are good. Sadly they're deep fried and don't agree with JC lol !! Anything with too much grease or fat gives JC the 'slider' effect and literally slides straight through me

So I simply replaced them with bean & cheese buritoes (about 10 for 99 cents @ walmart). Sadly those days are over..

The poppers? no chance sadly The only way is going to be making them.. As soon as I get my grubby little mitts on some whole Jalapenos it's fucking on.

I don't really like using the old el paso or any other spice mix. It's much nicer to make your own, and it's pretty simple just chucking together some paprika, chilli powder, lime (zest + juice), salt, pepper, tabasco, touch of cumin, and that does me fine

Mexican is my favourite food by a clear mile. Back home there's a restaurant called Café des Amis, and it's ace.

I'm sure I asked the popper question last time this came up and someone told me where.

And everywhere here serves them with chilli jam?!? Chilli Jam is great, yes, but not for something filled with scalding hot cheese.

There's actually a Mexican takeaway place in Cardiff, it's been there for years, some people rave about it but the only time I tried it (admittedly, it was 2001) I wasn't overwhelmed with love.

If there's a Papa Johns pizza place any where near you folks, they deliver poppers. The cheese-filled kind, rather than the amyl nitrate kind.

There is one... coincidentally just up the road from this Mexican place. I think one night next week I'll have to pick up a pizza from there on the way home and wrap it (in the box, obv) in my jacket to ensure it reaches home still nice and hot.

Actually it's funny you say that man. I simply adore mexican food. Nothing but nothing can touch it for taste... And it's when I thought about that I realised why it tastes so good.

Not being horrible but Mexico is a very poor country. All they really did was take some really amazing spices, herbs and stuff and add them to shit quality meat and stuff to make it taste fantastic.

I've heard some real horror stories from people who have been over there Funniest one was from my ex wife's uncle who ordered 'Crea dea' (not sure how to spell it but that's how it sounds). When it came to the table he asked what was in it and was shocked to find it was bull's nuts.

I tell you what is amazing though. Fish tacos (using grilled Mahi Mahi). Sadly I don't think you can get Mahi Mahi, shark or swordfish (all very steak meaty like) over here

There isn't one around here.. However, those things BK are doing atm taste very much like poppers (cheese whizz sauce with chopped jalepenos). Only difference being they're made from batter and not breadcrumbs.

They're quite nice tho ! cheap too

Oh yeah, we went there (to Cancun) when I was 15 (yes, cruel parents or what? Three years too young to legitimately go and frolic with all the hot college chicks) and spent half the trip sitting in the hotel room watching HBO and listening to my mother throw up because of the dodgy food.

DrG and I tried the cheez pepper things the other week - alas, they're spiced for the mainstream.

Sounds like what being a student is all about!

That's what Ive been doing for the past 4 years

For pussies you mean? yeah I hear ya man. Must say I was pretty dissapointed.

This thread makes me feel sad that my insides can no longer tolerate spicy food. Mexican was my all-time favourite. I guess the moral of the story is, eat it whilst you still have the guts for it!

Mind you, if your making it with quorn I'd recommend putting in the spices earlier, otherwise it will taste bland as fuck. Whenever I do stuff with quorn usually the fake chicken pieces or mince I put a fair bit pepper in, then some kind of green herb usually basil then a shit load of paprika and mild chilli powder to make sure it gets a coating of something tasteful, obsviously you'll have to like a bit spice for something like that. Otherwise I really despise quorn, My mother does sunday dinners with the stuff in veggie gravy and its a chore, its okay being marinated in curry pastes and the like but not great.

Also if you want southern fried chicken get the quorn southern fried burgers, pretty much exactly the same as proper chicken its quite scary. without the killing of a chicken, its pretty great.

I also think people should challenge themselves to not eat meat for 40 days and see if they truly miss it, its how I turned veggie and I've only had a couple of cravings for bacon sarnies hungover a couple of times and thats when the rents have been making them the same mornings.

Looks mighty fine this John. Think I'll give it a whirl.

EVERYONE ELSE Look at all the pictures in his step by step guide! And the reddish muck between his hob controls x

I don't like Quorn meself and I don't think it really adds anything to most cooking. TVP, maybe, sometimes.
I made a rather tasty just-vegetables (and beans) chilli last night. Plenty of tortilla crisps on top. It was Columbo night, see.

Meh, that looks pretty tasty Andy.

I love TexMex; Mrs Caveman makes a mean Taco with homemade guacamole, jalapeno salsa and the obligatory curly fries on the side of course. Goes down a storm when eating al fresco, with a nice chilled bottle of Sol.

Cavey

Cerveza !

I love guacamole. I remember having some at the place we ate at (hole in the wall) and my throat closed shut. Man, it was seriously firey. My nose was running, snot all down my face. Sweating, drool all running down my chin.

So what did I do? went back for a second dip

Haha, I'm my own worst enemy sometimes

Before that I spent the morning making my sauce for bolognaise. That goes into those 'tin things' you get @ the chinese with the cardboard lids and then goes into the freezer. I make all my own spaghetti sauces.


Fuck all point cleaning the entire oven if I'm going to be using it again ten minutes later

I'll do a pictorial on my chicken parmigiana next.. I'm having it soon (hence the serious quantities of sauce).

I have to pull you up on the use of ready mixed spices tbh...

As well as chillis (the more types the better - gives more 'depth' to the burn, at least mix a mild & a hot chilli or powder):
and:

Cumin - LOTS
Oregano - some

Thats the basis, and cumin you can buy in HUGE tubs in the Indian cooking sections for pennies.
Other fun stuff to try:
Paprika
Cayenne pepper
A tough of nutmeg and/or cinnamon
a cube or two of dark dark chocolate

I like to make 3x the amount of chilli required & freeze the rest, then have it as a 'British Chilli Pie' with a mashed potato topping, with cheese & a few smashed up doritos (or taco shell) bits sprinkled on top for extra crunch.

hey, send greetings to your friend from a country fellow, and advise him to dress a little better.



yes, among my favorites, together with the last 2 episodes from season 5.

Yes, mainly this. Good other suggestions too. I also add a dash of soy sauce and the essential ingredient: black strap molasses.

Some people have mentioned dark chocolate. I have not tried this.

hahahahaha.. I don't think I'll pass that on

I made this tonight, very nice, would have taken picturesif I had a camera but alas I do not. Had the small problem of finding out the small casserole dish I was going to use was at my sisters who is out, so I had to use a quiche dish wish was a fair bit bigger than my tortillas, so I had to use 7 of the fuckers to make my 3 layers, but it turned out alright.

Made a couple of changes, I wanted to make it a bit more nachoy so I put some tortilla chips on the top, and on the second layer before you put the mix back on I put a layer of refried beans and tortilla chips.

I have put RFB's in this before. Noone else seems to like them but me though

I tell you another great recipe mush.. Makes a wonderful dip.

Base of cold RFB. Chop up some spring onions and tomato.. Add that over the top of the RFB and cover it in grated cheese and get out your chips..

Mmmm.

This is in the oven right now - YOU HAD BETTER FUCKING BE RIGHT JOHN COFFEY.

Verdict to follow....

Jammy git. I'm not having it for another week.

Today I had a sausy and chips from the chip shop as it's been a bad day (death of a close friend) and tomorrow it's chicken caesar salad (tossed italian style).

Then later in the week I get to use the wonderful bolognaise sauces I made, and it's curry on saturday ('cos I haven't had one in eons man).

Pro Tip: Do not pour fat down the sink. Pour it into a dish of some kind, add washing up liquid, and rinse it away with very hot water. Litre of fat + u-bend = plungevile.

Looks good, though. I never thought of making a pie of the only mexican dish that exists. Ingenius.