"Wrong" products. Ghastly things that shouldn't be.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:22

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... crack.html

Quote:

Liquid eggs' for people too lazy to crack

It's just about the easiest thing you can do in a kitchen, but now preparing an egg has been made even simpler.

Farmers have come up with a new product aimed at home chefs who are too lazy to crack – liquid eggs.

Cartons of Egg In An Instant contain 10 whole eggs per half litre, and will be available in both free-range and non free-range versions.

Elwyn Griffiths from Oaklands Farm Eggs, the company behind the product, said that he expected it to be popular with shoppers who are "massively lazy, massively into convenience."

He said: "We want to make it easier for people to eat in."

The pasteurised egg liquid can last 21 days unopened, and three more days in the fridge after use.

It will be launched at the International Food and Drink Event at London's ExCeL centre next week, and the producers hope supermarkets will soon stock the cartons in their chiller cabinets alongside fresh milk.

myp · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:23

That's vile.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:24

Or Malc Spunk as it's known daahn sahrf.

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

Caterers have had them for ages and they are used in making ready meals and ting. When Big Tongue did the 'Jamie saves chickens, and solves AIDS, and prevents WW3, and recapitalises the banks' a year or so back he compared Whole Eggs to real eggs - they make whole eggs with the eggs that are too fucked to sell (because the shell isnt properly formed and stuff) and by definition, if a chicken can't shit out a proper shell, then the innards aren't all that likely to be great either.

KovacsC · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:28

Is it April 1st already?

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:28

Okay, that's quite a good point. Who, however, would be able/willing to eat 1 litre of egg in 3 days? And how clogged up would they be afterwards? Fuck cakes off for a moment.

Actually, that reminds me that my Nan Bird used to call cheese "bung arse".

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49252

They've had this stuff in our canteen for years. They use it for scrambled eggs for breakfast and for omelettes for lunch.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 14:44

Dimrill wrote:

Actually, that reminds me that my Nan Bird used to call cheese "bung arse".

Maarsedam?

Runcle · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 16:00

what about if they did like a big satchet with one cracked egg in it. so it would still have its yolk and stuff intact.

myp · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 16:01

Runcle wrote:

what about if they did like a big satchet with one cracked egg in it. so it would still have its yolk and stuff intact.

You'd have to put some pretty hardcore E-number stabilisers in there to keep them separate, I'd wager.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 16:04

Two compartments like a sherbert dib dab, innit.

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 16:06

Runcle wrote:

what about if they did like a big satchet with one cracked egg in it. so it would still have its yolk and stuff intact.

They'd need to use a fairly robust sachet to stop it getting squished/mixed though. Some sort of hard, calciated outer membrane which can easily be opened with a gentle tapping action for example.

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 16:06

Zardoz wrote:

Two compartments like a sherbert dib dab, innit.

Muller fruit omlette innit.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38709

No liquidised and from a carton though.

Hmmm...

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 17:33

RuySan wrote:

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

I don't. I'm a vagetarian.

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

DavPaz wrote:

No liquidised and from a carton though.

Hmmm...

don't even think about it. That was my idea.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

RuySan wrote:

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

Bloody continentals. You have no idea about good food, do you? Moules Frites gets the French some points, mind.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:05

The spiky chin dildo

GazChap · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:07

Looks like someone took "Mace to the face" a bit too literally.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49252

Mr Chris wrote:

RuySan wrote:

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

Bloody continentals. You have no idea about good food, do you? Moules Frites gets the French some points, mind.

That's Belgian, dude.

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

That is *genius*

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:09

"The Horny Hopper"

RuySan · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 3542

Mr Chris wrote:

RuySan wrote:

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

Bloody continentals. You have no idea about good food, do you? Moules Frites gets the French some points, mind.

there's an old joke that goes like this:

Paradise is where humor is British, cookers are French, mechanics are German, Politicians are swiss and lovers are Italian.

Hell is where humor is German, cookers are British, mechanics are French, lovers are Swiss and politicians are Italian.

it's quite international and it wasn't me who made it up.

Cras · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 49252

MrChris · **Joined:** 1st Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 30498

RuySan wrote:

Mr Chris wrote:

RuySan wrote:

why are you people complaining? You eat fish and chips after all.

Bloody continentals. You have no idea about good food, do you? Moules Frites gets the French some points, mind.

there's an old joke that goes like this:

Paradise is where humor is British, cookers are French, mechanics are German, Politicians are swiss and lovers are Italian.

Hell is where humor is German, cookers are British, mechanics are French, lovers are Swiss and politicians are Italian.

it's quite international and it wasn't me who made it up.

Heh!

Malabelm · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:20

Mr Chris wrote:

That is *genius*

Genius is a noun, you cunt.

zaphod79 · **Joined:** 16th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 14524

Malabar Front wrote:

Mr Chris wrote:

That is *genius*

Genius is a noun, you cunt.

I thought it was a Radio 4 program (and now a tv show) hosted by Dave Gorman :

http://www.davegorman.com/projects_genius.html

Malabelm · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:35

zaphod79 wrote:

Malabar Front wrote:

Mr Chris wrote:

That is *genius*

Genius is a noun, you cunt.

I thought it was a Radio 4 program (and now a tv show) hosted by Dave Gorman :

http://www.davegorman.com/projects_genius.html

That still makes it a noun

Runcle · **Posted:** Mon Mar 16, 2009 18:41

zaphod79 wrote:

Malabar Front wrote:

Mr Chris wrote:

That is *genius*

Genius is a noun, you cunt.

I thought it was a Radio 4 program (and now a tv show) hosted by Dave Gorman :

http://www.davegorman.com/projects_genius.html

Tv Programme now, starts this friday. Feel like I've started working for the BBC these last 2 days.

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"Wrong" products. Ghastly things that shouldn't be.

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