Be Excellent To Each Other

Please line up and call me a cunt. Please. I INSIST.

I am very happily in a long-term relationship with a wonderful woman however recently she fell ill but is on the mend thanks to her treatment. However she has already been through a few surgical procedures and I dont want to go into to much detail but suffice it to say the results of the surgery are plainly visible on her chest and the sight of it makes me shudder a little,horrible to say I know but I'm being full and frank here. As well as this her sex drive is reduced so at the moment I'm currently about 2 months dry so to speak with the prospect of at least another 6 to go and even if she was in the mood, tbh I'm not sure I could cuz.....well not to put to fine a point on it, the surgery thing is putting me off a little, I'm kindof squeamish about these things.

So why am I a cunt? Well just recently, over the last month, I've been getting pretty friendly with one of my workmates, lets call her X. We both got drunk on a works night recently and spent most of the night chatting and dancing with ehac other but nothing untoward happened(although there was a bit of handholidng - at her insisntence - in order to help her stay upright because she was quite drunk). Since then we've been swopping emails at work, again nothing untoward but the kind of emails you swop where you eventually build up a whole series of running jokes that would be imcomprehensible to anyone else and you just have to catch each others eye across the office or mutter something on the way past the desk and were giggling with each other.

so here's the thing, I think I'm falling in love with her. Last weekend I was stuck in the house on my own because my girlfriend was out with her friends and although I tried to just get on and watch TV or whatever I couldnt concentrate because I was thinkng of X all the time. IO feel like such a cunt because I know that if me and her ended up with each other again on a night out that I woulnd't be able to steop if she put the moves on me. Not that shes likely to, she could have her pick of the guys. Shes funny, intelligent, and really, ridiculously hot - God help me for saying this but more attractive than my girlfriend.

Maybe she chats with other guys in the office, maybe I'm reading to much into the banter. I don't kjnow. And who cares? I've got a girlfriend who needs me. Like I say she's ill but on the mend. its cliche to say these but we really are best mates (a pair of bezzies if you will). Its' just that's all it ffeels like to me these days - mates. I don't feel sexualy attracted to her anymore and I don't know if thats just the surgery, or my head being clouded by thoughts of X, or just wether I'm genuinaly falling out of lust with her. But whatever the situation I feel like a really bad person just for having these thoughts. I need people to tell me what a cunt I'm being about the whole thig because if anything ever DID happen between me and X (and Id be genuinley suprised if it did but go with me on this) then it could potentially destory a longterm relationship and hurt my girlfriend when she needs me the most.

So why did I write this, well, partly to get it all out of my ststem because I don't have anyone I can talk to about hese things (well I do, but hes away on holiday with his girlfriend the inconsdierate bastard) and partly so that you can all,like I say,line up and one by one call me a cunt (a bit like that scene in Airplane) because I feel like I'm on the verge of doing something really fucking stupid and need some sense slapped into me.

ps. Its probably patetnly obvious but I've kind of hidden my usual writing style a little or a lot), no typos corrected delibertaly bad punctuation etc. as I am a regular here and I'm a little paranoid about people I know accidentally finding this if they happen to tap my PSN/xbox live username into Google or whatever.

Pps. I have edited the post cuz I thought i had revealed a little to much personal infomation, just in case you where wondering.

ppps. Thankyou for the replies, i realize this isnt beemotoeachother.com so thanx for not telling me to stfu (yet)

Until you said that I was sure this was Beteo's first spam. And I still don't know what to think of it. And whether its genuine or not.

But all eventualities can be answered with the response. Don't be a cunt.

Really don't be a cunt.

I would suggest it's probably best not to seek advice on an internet forum, instead consult with some close friends over a pint or whatever you like to talk over. People who actually know you personally and can help.

If your X-Box breaks we can help, if something more real life broken the last thing you want is advice from some characters on a screen. We don't know you or your situation well enough to make a balanced judgement let alone offer advice.

Sorry.

You've got to stick with your gf until she at least gets better and then see. If you still feel the same, like you've drifted apart, take it from there.

But don't do the dirty while she's ill, man. That would be low.

Or, ask the two of them if they will lez it up or something

If your eye is wandering because of what she's going through it's probably a sign you're not soulmates, I would have thought. I wouldn't pursue anything with Ms. Office though, she sounds like she's just an attractive port in a particularly grim storm.

On a practical note, can you get your girlfriend to keep her bra on while you do her from behind?

Wasn't there a famous guy in Dutchland who shagged loads of women while his wife was dying of cancer, and then wrote a book about it?

So - guess the BeeXer! I had an urge to say "Hi MrsA!" but Mali doesn't work.

I reckon it's someone who's already posted in this thread, as a sort of double bluff.

PS it isn't me.

Anyway.

You're not a cunt. Not yet. But I've always firmly been of the opinion (and my opinions equal TRUFAX, by the way) that anyone who cheats on anyone is a big fat coward. If you're unhappy and want to leave - make your mind up about it and tell her if you are. There's never going to be a good time, and you can bet your arse that if you wait until she's better and then dump her, she'll just look back at all the times you were being supportive and think "christ, he was thinking about shagging someone else the whole time he was pretending to care about me being ill".

But for christ's sake, don't cheat on her. That's moral cowardice of the worst sort, and it's unfair to everyone involved. It would just be you wanting the new thing but not having the balls to come clean to your other half and severing the old. And dishonesty stains the soul irrevocably.

So it is you (this means it's me.)

thanx guys, in a way mr chris somes it up best, perhaps Im not a cunt just yet but I am certainly skating close to that,

so in order,

Lave - Rest assured that the feelings of selfloathing I have for myself are entirely genuine

Chinny - Im not sure what Im seeking too be honest, mainly getting it off my chest I supose, I'm not really after advice, more confirmation that Im a cock (or at least hving thoughts that if acted on would make me a cock). My problm is that I dont really have any close friends to talk too about relationships and stuff. As I say Im quite private in rael life in that way. A forum like BeEx is the closest I have to that which is kindof sad really. But thats the way it goes. Also very disapointed at no mention of Pang on the GX-4000, -999 banans for you

Sir Taxalot - Its not even that we've drifted apart, I just dont feel like I "fancy her" any more, We still get on great, have a laugh etc and I think we are still close just not in that way

Count of 6- I should of mentioned, this is not the first time she has been quite ill, in fact last time the situation was a lot worst but we weatherd the storm so to speak, I just dont know if I can do it again, or at least this time it FEELS worse if you see what I mean. And as I say at the momet she has no sex drive so back scuttling is not an option oteherwise that would be one of my options (Also: blowjobs)

Mr Chris - First of all that is a very clever triple bluff on your behalf, of course we're not the same person, I just happen to be wearing a rather stylish cardigan thats all. Anyway part of me thinks that a "bit on the side" would be okay to tide me through and its not "cheating" because I would not leav her (or that is what it is telling me anyway) and its just a way of meeting needs taht are not being met at home. But of course as I type that I realize how much of a cold callous cunt that makes me sound (I mean how fucking selfish do you have to be to go shagging behind your partners back just because youre not getting sex, yeah i realise Im doing myself no favour's here). & I have never been good at facing up to things, many times in my life I have put off telling someone about something because "it wasnt the right time" (not cheating i hasten to add) but eventualy the truth came out and everything seemed x10 worse because I had not had the balls to say anything but I never seem to learn form my mistakes in this reagrd

Count of 6 again - Nice try pal but Im onto you [vote: Count of 6]

sorry fur drgaging you all down with me tday,

SHIT, forgot to log out!

I'd echo what everyone else above says about cheating, but I'd add that being with someone while they're going through medical difficulties and leaning on you heavily can be tough, and so don't be too down on yourself for thinking about someone else, even fantasizing about it - at the end of the day if that's what it takes to get rid of some of the pressure of a relationship in a tricky and currently dry patch whilst letting you not actually do anything about it - fine. Don't let yourself feel too guilty for having feelings about someone else - burying yourself in guilt can lead to levels of resentment that are the thing that is likely to cause the most long-term damage to your relationship.

If you really do feel that you really aren't in the right relationship, and it's not just a temporary thing because of the op, then man up and break it off. It's better that way than sticking with her because you feel sorry for her and are scared of the guilt you'll feel for dumping her. Sure, her friends will think you're a right arsehole, but you can take that and it's better than being trapped in that relationship ten years from now, regretting that you never did anything at the time.

I don't think it is fair to try and guess who this is, as they obviously want to be left anonymous.

To the OP, seriously, every man (I am assuming you are a man) finds some woman they know more attractive than their girlfriend. I would seriously recommend against doing anything with X because
1) If the girl is so hot she could have anyone, she is likely just after some affirmation of this.
2) don't shit on your own doorstep, you work with her.
3) it's a cunt's trick.
I would however, say that as you get older (having no idea of your age) you will find that you find your girlfriend less attractive, sadly this happens. Familiarity breeds contempt, and she is getting older, this girl is likely younger and you have only ever seen her dolled up. Being best mates with your partner is no mean achievement and is something that should be appreciated. This doesn't mean you won't fancy other women, you are only human, but it gives you the perspective to apply to the situation. In 50 years time, would you want to be with your best mate or not.
We can't give you a course of action here, but I don't feel you need one, I have only responded in this manner to allow you to see people's thoughts, as that is clearly what you wish.

OK, you're deffo a cunt.

Any family to consider?

Call me a cunt if you like, but you know the mods are probably fully aware who you are unless you've masked your IP (or used someone elses connection).

How do I know this... never you mind.

Given time, you can work anything out, eh?

err, dude. It doesn't work when you're talking about *me*, you spaz

I... cock.

I was just thinking that. Brilliant.

That you cock?

lucky no-one's reading this...

Everyone knows about Craster anyway, dude. Open secret.

Craster was supposed to be a secret?

Brilliant. Someone opens their life up to us for advice, and within 15 posts we're already back to Craster and the badgers.

to be fair, there's no advice to give other than:

Don't be cunt. If you cheat on your GF while she is is A: Ill and B: Your GF, you are a cunt. So either break up with your GF or keep it in your pants fool

Now... what's this about badgers?

for god's sake, don't click on this... ever. But especially not at work

http://www.furry.org.au/badger/gallery/w_badger.jpg

what the hell did you search for to find that?

find what?

*This poster has recently used MindScrub®. Buy now to unsee the worst of the internet, such as "two girls, one cup" and "jar guy". Only $29.99! (plus tax)

I'll take two. I am in two minds whether to use it or not.

Craster - Thanks. that at least makes me feel a bit better knowing that Im not an utter twat just for having the thougts. Your right on the money about the resentment as well. I will bear it in mind thanks

Bobbyaro - "I don't think it is fair to try and guess who this is, as they obviously want to be left anonymous." is this a bluf or double bluff or triple bluff or quardurple bluff, Ive lost count now. Believe me the old saying "Dont shit on your own doorstep because it smells and I can see you shiting" has crossed my mind on more than 1 occasion. And I apprecaite you just setting out your thoughts (although I will mention that X is roughly my age so its not really a case of lusting after some younger girl or something but you are right that Ive only seen her in smart office clothes and makeup and not first thing in the morning with hair all over the place and in a tatty old dressing gown etc)

Mr Chris - I actualy deliberaretly went back and changed that for a laugh, this whole "be shit at spelling" lark is actually quit liberating in a way but then again Ive typed things that have made me fucking mad to write out. besides caring about propper spelling and grammer is for loosers

Mr Russell - No children involved or anything like that

4thDimension - http://portabletor.sourceforge.net/ Not that I dont trust the mod team but as I say I am quite a shy person in real life and even the thought that I might end up at a BeEx meet and one of the mods might so much as THINK "there's that cunt that went shagginb behind his ill girlfriends back" is pretty horifying to me. I do aprecaite you setting things out in plain language so thanks. I will try to whether the storm and see how things look in 6-12 motnhs or however long it takes for the TB illness to clear up

Shin?

I think you'll probably have just felt better writing this out and talking through some of your feelings.

The joy of being human, is that sometimes it's bastard hard.

Yes i have 2, thankyou for asking.



yes Its definitely helped a bit just getting it off my chest. Its not helped completly, these last few weeks i have been wanting the weekend to go faster so I can speak to X again, and on the days she hasnt been in work Ive sat there at my desk working away but feeling a bit empty. I know it might sounds stupid but talking to X gets me through the day and knowing I'll see her the next day gets me through the evening. Well anyway even as Im sitting here feeling sorry for myself ("should be feeling sorry for the ill woman upstairs you cunt") Im just thinking about how I want the weekend to be over so I can see her on monday despite all signs pointing to me being a real bell-end if I carry on like this.

I will leave it there for now, I might post more selfpitying ramblings at a later time unless I come back to find it overun with hot mustelid chat.

sounds like you need a friend... it can sometimes be... confusing to have feelings about other people. You said it's been 10 years since you were with anyone but your gf. It's flattering to recieve attention from a sexy young thing (I've been there) and confusing.

I'm rambling. What I'm saying I suppose, you could tell X about your gf. She MIGHT become a good friend. Maybe you don't want that.

Like I said... rambling

I'd say follow your heart, follow it through, but how can you, when it's split in two?

hdghdg

To be fair to Chris - as much as it makes my teeth gnash with rage - you're always going on about other women you fancy on a public forum.

vfghj

Let's take this to PM rather than derailing this topic.

feex

I demand the next update to this story.

And that the bits that MaliA censored be restored.

I couldn't possibly do that.

Couldn't or wouldn't?

I could care less.

Couldn't. I can't remember what it was about.

Sounds like a tough situation to be in.

Have a wank, and support your partner.

At the same time? Tiring.

Great for upper body strength.

Switch arms half way through.

And clap 3 times.