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 Post subject: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:44 
Running this fucking operation

Joined: 23rd Jan, 2009
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Anyone seen this yet? It's a fun concept, a conveniently humanoid alien crash-lands in Viking Norway, unwittingly bringing with him an even less welcome visitor.

Having bought such an outlandish (!!!<-----) pitch, it's a shame they chose to fall back on Dungeons and Dragons-style fantasy cliché instead of emphasising the very promising sci fi and historical angles. The Vikings are saddled with an motley array of increasingly unlikely accents (from Scottish to English to Scandinavian) and have in tow an Irish missionary monk (who surely would have been butchered rather than given room and board by any Pagans worth their salt.)

It's really frustrating to see an intriguing story pissed away like this, but the film remains at least watchable, especially while John Hurt and Ron Perlman are on screen. Jim Caviezel, in the lead, is pretty insipid. Worth a watch. Nothing wankable in it, sadly.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:49 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Wasn't this already sort of done with that Monsters vs Vikings films? I think it was Banderas in it. EDIT - 13th Warrior, that was it.

Still - this sounds intriguing, and I shall definitely give it a go.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:51 
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Ticket to Ride World Champion

Joined: 18th Apr, 2008
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Nothing wankable, what are they doing? They could have a bevvy of scantily clad Nordic beauties. Pah.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:53 
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Time Out for Fun

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5039
Location: South Shields
can i recommend this film here?

The Good, The Bad, The Weird

A japanese western by the bloke that made a bittersweet life and a tale of two sisters. Great fun.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901487/


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:54 
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INFINITE POWAH

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As for other possible Viking themed remakes, I would like to see Vikings On a Plane, personally.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 13:57 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Viking Doors: Jurgen the Viking's love life and career both hinge, unbeknownst to him, on whether or not he catches the morning longboat.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:00 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Craster wrote:
Viking Doors: Jurgen the Viking's love life and career both hinge, unbeknownst to him, on whether or not he catches the morning longboat.

Viking in Love: Erik the Viking gets pillager's block when he falls in love with local lord's daughter. Solves it by shagging her and then cutting her head off.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:00 
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Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Viking Distance: Bruce Willis is a cop on the edge, demoted to longboat patrol on the Elliðaá River as he searches desperately for his father's killer.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:03 
Running this fucking operation

Joined: 23rd Jan, 2009
Posts: 145
Viking and I: Culture clash musical comedy in which Keira Knightley's prim governess is abducted from Mercia to teach King Olaf's children home economics.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:04 
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Time Out for Fun

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5039
Location: South Shields
Beverly Hills Viking: Law Enforcer Viking (The only black in the norsk village) Bjorn tackles Terrorism and Recession in this comedy action blockbuster for all the family.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:05 
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Hibernating Druid

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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Location: Standing on your mother's Porsche
Me Myself & Viking: Comedy romp where a mild mannered traffic cop thinks he's a Viking. Raping and looting ensues with hilarious consequences.

Also: Viking Werewolves V Ninja Pirates V Totty Vampires please.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:11 
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UltraMod

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The Madness of Viking George: speaks for itself.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:12 
Running this fucking operation

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Thor Thumb: Viking warrior Rutger Hauer finds himself transported to modern-day Manhattan. Only Billy Crystal knows his secret, but can the rugged Norseman fit in to fashionable New York society?


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:12 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 11th Dec, 2008
Posts: 332
Viking Pie: A group of young Vikings are embarrassed by their late start in rape. They resolve to all become rapists before Olaf's party. Hilarity and violent horrific violence ensue


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:13 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 11th Dec, 2008
Posts: 332
Jingle all the Norway: ... maybe not.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:17 
Running this fucking operation

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Odin It Be Norse To Live Together: Epic melodrama in which two gay Pictish lovers flee the Highlands for Scandinavia to conduct a clandestine relationship each summer.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:19 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Location: Cheshire
Norse leap to Madison = Viking decides if he loves hif wife to be, or hockey, more.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 14:22 
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Inspector Norse: MURDER IN OXFORD. It was Inspector Norse and his MIGHTY SWORD. Case solved


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:29 
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PC Gamer

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 3084
Location: Watford
Kindergarten Viking - In order to save this year's smoked herring catch, Njal the Unspeakable has to take the place of a local pre-school teacher in this gritty, violent tale of one man's doomed fight against an uncaring society.

Schindler's Viking - Screwball fish-out-of-water comedy.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:55 
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Caution Live Bear.

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
Posts: 447
Location: Lun Dun
When I read the title, it kept reminding me of this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMEBPEmvTT8
No viking's I'm afraid.


The Bridges of Erikson Country. Heartwarming romantic comedy about a band of vikings raping and pillaging their way through New England.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:58 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 11th Dec, 2008
Posts: 332
Rodafowa wrote:
Kindergarten Viking - In order to save this year's smoked herring catch, Njal the Unspeakable has to take the place of a local pre-school teacher in this gritty, violent tale of one man's doomed fight against an uncaring society.

Do you catch Smoked Herring?


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:59 
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PC Gamer

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Location: Watford
It's a wily prey is the smoked herring. The trick is getting them to bite the hook.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 16:02 
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Excellent Member

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Posts: 5924
Location: Stockport - The Jewel in the Ring
Lars Action Hero - Post modern blend of action and comedy. A small boy picks up a magic hammer and joins his hero, Arnult the Viking, inside a spoof of Viking cliches. Features cameos from Erik the Viking, Gunnar the Viking and Tim the Enchanter.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 17:03 
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EvilTrousers

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Pyrestarter - 9 year old viking girl massacres entire village and sends them all out to sea, on fire.

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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 17:05 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 11th Dec, 2008
Posts: 332
The Pillage Idiot: A screwball comedy where the youngest son of the chief is a clutz who just can't get his pillaging right!


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 19:27 
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Chu chu chu!

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
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Runcle wrote:
A japanese western by the bloke that made a bittersweet life and a tale of two sisters. Great fun.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901487/

Gnngh, he's Korean.

If you must have a Japanese western, try Takeshi Miike's utterly hatstand Sukiyaki Western Django. Though be warned, watching an entire western performed in phonetic english may well cause your head to implode just attempting to understand it.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 20:56 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5318
Mr Chris wrote:
Wasn't this already sort of done with that Monsters vs Vikings films?



I'd say it was already sort of done with Beowulf, surely?


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 20:57 
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Time Out for Fun

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5039
Location: South Shields
SisterCheeba wrote:
Runcle wrote:
A japanese western by the bloke that made a bittersweet life and a tale of two sisters. Great fun.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901487/

Gnngh, he's Korean.

If you must have a Japanese western, try Takeshi Miike's utterly hatstand Sukiyaki Western Django. Though be warned, watching an entire western performed in phonetic english may well cause your head to implode just attempting to understand it.


Oh shit aye, korean.


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 Post subject: Re: Outlander
PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 22:09 
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INFINITE POWAH

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GovernmentYard wrote:
Mr Chris wrote:
Wasn't this already sort of done with that Monsters vs Vikings films?



I'd say it was already sort of done with Beowulf, surely?

He was cockney, though.

Hang on.

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