Be Excellent To Each Other

Hello!

So I've just been watching Raiders of the Lost Ark (feat. Indiana Jones) whilst drinking booze and I've just worked out that Indi caused world war II.

Look at the FACTS.

FACT 1: Indiana Jones (aka AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY) decides that his country should own the main symbol of the christian faith. Not those damn Nazis.

FACT 2: REMEMBER this is set in 1936. THREE YEARS before the war. As such, whilst Hitler and his friends are DICKBAGS they aren't war mongering dickbags. Yet. As such they have AS MUCH RIGHT to the Ark as the Yanks.

FACT 3: The American Gov, intercept and SPY on the work of the Nazis to steal the ark from underneath them. The Nazi's have done all the laborious leg work. Indie just straps on his whip and takes it afterwards (more or less).

FACT 4: Indiana gets the ark - by getting the nations citizens themselves, to dig up the ark WHILST HE JUST STANDS AND WATCHES - just so he can then steal it from them. However the fucking Nazis manage to intercept Indie before he steals the Ark. The Nazis manage to trap him in a pit full of snakes. This is the final moment when 'Doctor' Jones could STOP BEING A DICK and let the nazis have their bloody god toy.

FACT 5: Thinking they no longer have to deal with CULTURE THIEF JONES they..... PUT THE ARK IN A BOX AND START TO LOAD IT ON THEIR PLANE TO SEND STRAIGHT TO HITLER.

FACT 6: Hitler - BEING HITLER - would have opened the ark and GOT HIS EYEBALLS MELTED BY GOD-GHOSTS. Thus the Nazi regime would have crumbled 6million + Jews and Gypsies would not have been killed and a world war would have been stopped. FOR GOOD!

FACT 7: But Mr I NAMED MYSELF AFTER A DOG decides that his country has a right to it MORE. Even though they DON'T. And steals it.

THE ABSOLUTE FUCKER.

I have finally seen the light.

Did I write this? Jesus. It does make perfect sense though. Go drunk me.

Now I need a coffee for my poor, ickle head.

I had such a geeky evening. Booze + GH:World Tour (want toy drumkit hard now) + Indiana Jones.

It was special.

Sympathiser!

I think Hitler would have realised the Ark's awesome power though, and only got the Jews to look inside.

The bastard.

He wouldn't have opened it - the opening in the desert was a test run, see. If he'd found it in the desert with all the nazis vanished he'd have been all "nein, das is nicht gut!" and "ich bin Adolf" and that'd be that.

I know German.

That bit where Indie stands around doing nothing while the Egyptians (?) do all the digging always bothered me, though. Apart from being un-heroically imperialistic, it's pretty dumb to drop his disguise just for comfort's sake when a bajillion nazis are just up the road.