Be Excellent To Each Other

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I still feel a bit gutted that we don't play this anymore. Valve have recently stated that they're going to start patching the game up to make it comparable to the PC version, starting with the most recent one:



I know it doesn't address some of the criticisms that people have with the game, but it's a step in the right direction and means they haven't dropped all support for it yet.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'd like to get some Bezzies together and have a blast with it at some point. Is anyone keen?

Count me in if you fancy a game.

Me! I would! I never understood why everyone hated it so much.

I would play a game, but I'm shit at TF2.

I think it was unlucky with CoD 4 and Halo 3 turning up in the same time period.

I'm up for it. Been a while since I've played.

Then play a Medic. It's the TuFTy class for people who're rubbish at TuFTy.

What do you mean? I always play as the medic.

Oh.

So do I, man. So do I.

Bagsies me not on the team with six medics.

The Medic class is an creation of minor genius. Not played a lot of TF2? Can't shoot straight? Bit overwhelmed by what's going on around you? Don't worry. If you can keep a teammate's arse within an 180 degree arc in front of you, you can still contribute in a real and valuable way to your team's victory - and all the time you're doing it, you're learning your way around the maps.

Playing Medic is basically the game's unofficial tutorial.

And Metal 'Slagoffatron' Angel constantly sticking the verbal boot in about it.

By that reckoning, CoD5 and L4D might be good, as well.

I only hope they've fixed the false server numbers thing. Basically arseholes use weird bots on their servers to make it look like lots of people are playing, you log on and the bots disappear, leaving you alone. Annoyed, you log out. The bots reappear. Someone else logs in. Happens to them too. In the end you get a load of people pissed off and no one playing on the server, or indeed any server, because there's so many fucking idiots on the server list thinking that by lying about how many people are playing, they'll suddenly get a flood of players simultaneously on their server. Cunts.

Last dozen games I tried to join all turned out to be that, so I'm hoping they've fixed this problem now. Grrrz.

Get a 360 Nervous Pete.

You deserve it.

I don't think we'll have that problem on the 360, although there has been news of people hacking the 360 Left 4 Dead and getting console controls.

Eh?

The command console. So they can give themselves infinite health, etc. It only worked on Valve's dedicated servers, though.

You have to hit the coffee pot, garden gnome, radio, and jug in that order, and you get access to the console.

Wish I'd stop getting excited and forgetting you're all talking about eggs-box versions. True though, I should get one. Maybe after the March America trip.

Sorry, I'll change the title. I thought using the phrase, 'they're going to start patching the game up to make it comparable to the PC version' might have made it clear, though.

Hooray I'll Play. Been waiting for you lot to play with me. I've racked up some stupid amount of time on it mind, I've played as a scout for 30 odd hours eeek.

I'll play if you get a game organised...I have it on PC and the Sex Box.

Me too. I freaking adored being the spy.

Awesome.

The only way to fix Stalemate Fortress 2 would be to replace it with a port of the vastly superior Team Fortress Classic.

Honestly, I have played far too many games where two teams who know what they're doing have been utterly unable to defeat the other.

To wit: 2Fort. You have two engineers in the Intelligence room, each with their fully upgraded turret and dispenser. One turret is in the corner facing the intelligence, the other is next to the desk where it can hit anyone emerging from either doorway. Each one furiously whacks at his turret to maintain it, shotguns anyone who enters the room (regardless, as there's no penalty for shooting teammates) and is basically completely, utterly entrenched.

"Aha!," you say, "but a soldier or demoman or spy could easily slip in there!"

Oh really? If the soldier or spy comes down the hallway the desk turret is looking down, he'll be able to fire maybe a shot before having to duck for cover back behind the wall as he'll have bullets and missiles flying his way. Meanwhile, any damage and ammo lost by said turret will be instantly replaced. If they come out of the side hallway (that the desk turret can't see down) they might get off more shots but will be duly shot by both turrets instead. Even ubercharged they won't be able to take out both turrets before the ubercharge wears off as a combination of the surviving turret and both angry engineers finish them off.

Which leaves the spy, to sneak in all cloaky or disguised. Except, the engineers have brought their mate along, the pyro. The pyro blasts anyone who enters with his flamethrower, as, again, there's no penalty for shooting teammates. Which, combined with the gunfire of the two paranoid engineers, means death in seconds for the spy. The sappers are then removed or the turret rebuilt if very unlucky, and things return to normal. None of the three defenders need to leave the room as they've got two dispensers in there which are fully charged and happily heal and rearm them constantly. In the unlikely event of any of them dying, they are a ten second run from two of the three spawn rooms.

Over in the other team's base, exactly the same arrangement is in place. The end result is that NOBODY WINS.

In other game modes, things improve slightly but in all honesty, if the game really is that great, why did we stop playing it in the first place?

Hmmm. Maybe we should test this. Perks + two volunteers versus half a dozen of us in a private game. The side with three guys do what Perks says, the other side try to break it.

I'm up for that.

Both teams still have their other six or so members having sniper/rocket battles across the canal, mind you, or launching ill-advised attempts to snatch the intelligence.

Yes, three co-ordinated defenders will make life difficult for attackers that come in drips and drabs. As it should be.

But a decent medic/demoman combo would almost definitely defeat that setup if they had an Uber to burn. And if you add a third attacker - a Soldier say or, God help them, a Spy - they'd cut through it like a knife through butter.

2Fort is a little too weighted in favour of the defender, but it's nowhere near as bad as you're making out. But then again, you reckon Team Fortress Classic was "vastly superior" when I thought it was a hateful grenade-spam fest, so I s'pose it's horses for courses.

At least in TFC each class had a more diverse set of weapons.

Yeah medic and a powerful attacker is a good combination, even a pyro can do a decent job. As a demoman you dont even need a medic, you can sticky bomb around a corner without being in the sight of a sentry, or you can fire your other explosives that bounce off walls into the vicinity of a sentry.
Although metal angle has got a decent point in that it can be a stalemate if both teams are doing it, but if you have 3 in defense then that means you've got less in attack and its usually from both teams doing this that it fails. The best solution is to get rid of some of your defense and attack them, they arent going to have a good attack so you dont worry about defense. Get a group to attack there intelligence, 2 or 3 scouts, pyros, snipers to attack anyone trying to cross over then maybe 2 or 3 in defense. Its all about the balance.

I'm up for a game. As much as I love CoD 4, I always wished TF2 turned out the popular Live game.

As I said before, the best times were when we had 8 of us playing 4v4. No lag, and no irritating tactics used (such as that guy who hid in the respawn room on Granary)

Yeah, we had some good times. When are we playing? I'm fucking babysitting tonight. FUCKING BABYSITTING. For my brother. On a Friday. I'll probably be home at 11-ish or something.

Ke-BOOOOOM!

Right, there seems a fair amount of interest in this. How about next Thursday at 9pm?

I'll begin making the necessary arrangements.

Ive got an essay in for friday so I might try and finish it early so I can play with bezzies. Although that could mean Ill miss FIFA and UT3.

Ah man, five-a-side night. And it's ages away! How about Sunday?

Sunday's good for me. Anyone else?

fine for me.

I have this but haven't played it much, so I'll try and be around on Sunday.

Is good usual caveats apply.

Right, how does 8-9ish sound?

Might pop on for this but be gentle, I've not delved this far into my Orange Box yet.

Fnar.

I'm up for this.

Right, i've just had my first go. The lag is incredible, even on a low-ping game - there are times, even with one or two oponents only, where my controller will simply not work, my avatar will slide, turn, whatever without my say-so. Very annoying, almost a game-breaker.

When it does work, I'm confused about one or two things - what's with the outline you get with the spy and so on? To the FAQs I go! (and hope the lag is gone, come eight).

You were probably playing on US-hosted games, Goatboy. I've never seen any unusual lag in TF2.