Be Excellent To Each Other

never been happier to see a santa hat. Think of the stains. Although he does look very clean....

That's been set up - look at the colour of his socks - they are purest white.

I don't like Monkey's 3rd December entry

You don't think that maybe someone stole his outfit after he crashed?

something's been cloned out the bottom left, badly

Your Mum.

DAY 3 OF ADVENT MONKEY

So, I went for a winter wander around Williamson park, looking for somethig or someone who made me think of Dimrill. I looked under rocks and behind trees, through the ice on the lake and on teh snowy hills, but eventually I found him in the cafe.

There he is, in his big scarf and top hat. I think it is Mr Dave to the left of the picture, possibly Ian Osbourne on the right.



The chap in the blue looks particularly malevolent.

Why has Dimrill got 4 eyes? Has there been some hideous, Jeff Goldblum-esque teleporter-related incident?

It is the top of his giant smile

The Last Boy To Sit On His Lap

DON'T SHOOT! *ducks*

I am about to crush a robin in my enormous branch pincer.

I saw a Robin my apple tree on monday. It was ace. As you were.

Ace as I was?

as you all were and, indeed are, my excellent friends

We have two regulars in our garden. One is an opinionated bugger, and keeps threatening to give the sparrows a good shoeing.

I've just been out clearing up leaves, and I've had a robin barking instructions at me.

Robins are ace that way. They've got small bird syndrome.

"Aw... cute ickle wobin"
"Come close and I'll peck your fucking eyes out."

HARKEN SIE SCHNELLER!

DAY 4 OF ADVENT MONKEY

Dear Royal Mail,

I ordered some very important replacement snows after the last shipment you delivered me arrived late and already slushy. You can imagine my disappointment when, after waiting around all morning for my replacement snows, none were delivered. After many calls to your office I was told that I was not at home when the postman arrived and that he has left a card. I was home and no card was left.

When I returned back from my early evening walk I found my now melted snows in a padded envelope behind the bin.

As you can see from the enclosed picture, my snow reserves are depleted and I would appreciate if you could organise some bumper snows tonight as compensation.

Can I just say that this thread is approximately one squillion times better than the chocolate advent calenders we've all been given at work?

'cept the subtitle. everything else is made of excellent

Monkey and I were both tired after the poker night, we have fixed it now

By the way, Royal Mail delivered no new snows, again.

Yeah whats up with the snow. Everyone gets snow and I don't. I get snow and no one else does. Just bizzzzzzzzzzare!

you live in opposite world, clearly. Whereas I live in NO-SNOW-EVER-LAND!

I just love how Monkey is still able to smile despite being jipped out of snows by Royal Mail.

DAY 5 OF ADVENT MONKEY



So, cheese on toast might not seem like the most Chritmassy food fair that you can think of, but let me take a moment to try and change your mind. Not only is it warm and tasty, but it is also quick. This is perfect if you have loads of presents to open, or can't wait to get back to that game of charades. What's more, Mary has pregnancy cravings for cheese on toast when she was expecting baby jeebus, and if you look in the background of any proper nativity scene there is always a plate of cheese on toast on the shelf.

So, can we hear it for Cheese on toast, surely the most christmassy foodstuff ever?

Yaay!
I'm going to have that for my tea in celebration.

Excellent.

Monkey is my new hero! Hugh Jackman, you're sacked sunshine!

I'm still boggling at eating cheese on toast with a knife and fork.

Monkeys have better table manners than us lot, Dimrill. D' uh!

I eat more or less all food with knife and fork - cheese on toast, pizza, burger in a bun, hot dog - I'd eat all of these with cutlery. I forget that people used to think it odd as nobody has mentioned it in a while.

I eat cheese on toast with a knife and fork, as do my parents. When I first did this in front of my housemate she found it quite odd.

I'll give you cheese on toast.

I'll just about give you pizza.

But a BURGER?

you'll be eating chinese with a knife and fork soon!! You cannibal!!

This is because your housemate was obviously dragged up in a cave.

It's the side salad that's doing my head in. Or the wine. But the wine's not in the picture. That's in my head. God. I need to go to bed now and stop replying to things. Here I go!

I eat burgers with a knife and fork! If they are one of the ludicriously overstuffed ones in a pub: 8oz burger + cheese + bacon + three fat onion rings, that kind of thing. If it's more than six inches tall and I try and eat it with my hands I'm going to end up wearing it. I also eat pizza with cutlery if it's rewarmed and so the base is chewy.

You are welcome to dine at my house any day, Doc G.

/me makes note in stalker file

DAY 6 OF ADVENT MONKEY - SAMICHLAUS DAY!

Today is Samichlaus/St Michelmas/St Nicholas' Day. The day, for much of Europe, when Ole Saint Nick fills the shoes and stockings of young children with small gifts.

I like to celebrate not with shoes full of lego, but a nice refreshing beverage. A special bevarge, Samichlaus Beer!



It is a heady brew of a breath-catching 14%, hic!



Brewed only one one day each year (the 6th of December, of course) it is one of the strongest and rarest beers in the world. Which I am savouring with monkey-like joy and elegance...

Don't let Mimi have any - she'll fall over from the fumes before she's taken a sip.

At least you're a happy drunk, Monkey.

They brew, bottle and distribute it all in one day? Or do they sell the ones from last year... orr?

They brew it on the 6th, and bottle it 8 months later. The one Monkey had today was from 2007.

DAY 7 OF ADVENT MONKEY

I thnk it is important to remember at this time of year that many of the monkeys you know were born in warmer clamates and need extra cuddles and snuggly warm stuff to say happy this Christmas.

DAY 8 OF ADVENT MONKEY

Today the Beer Man came and bought my Christmas suppings.



I'd like to point out to anyone worried that it is an 'unhealthy diet' that if you look in the salad trays, The one on the right contains some lovely apples. The other contains more bottles of beer.

surely you can drink the occasional cider, removing the need for the 'apples'