Be Excellent To Each Other

...for things to do when I want a fag.

Not "Have a wank" as I can't do that outside college. Anymore. And I don't chew gum.

Thanks.

Start chewing gum.

You're welcome.

"Don't smoke a fag"

Well, the same thinking stopped me from (snip - legal Ed).

I honestly think cold turkey is the only way to go. Getting yourself tangled up in compensatory measures and replacement techniques must just add unnecessary stress and complexity to the process. If you truly want to stop smoking then when you get a craving tell yourself not to be a dick and get over it.

Saying that, I've only ever half-heartedly stopped smoking; sometimes for up to 7-9 days at a time at most. The first three days were the worst. Alcohol is a trigger for cravings, for me, so not drinking during those periods helped.

Psychologically, it must be better to think of not 'giving up' smoking, as that infers you are cutting something valued out of yourself, which isn't true. Rather, you are cutting something anomalous off that shouldn't be there in the first place.

I'm rambling. My mouth is filled with ramble crumble.

Put your last packet of cigs next to a picture of Bella Emberg naked, not only will you be put off but you'll also lose weight from the subsequent vomit

I quite smoking cold turkey. It's been, oh, 6 years or so now.

Chinny Trufax: Her real name is Sybil Dyke.


In other news, not mad keen on Mountain Dew. Takes like vegetable oil mixed with orange juice.

Have a lollipop?

I quit smoking 4 years ago with the aid of wonderful wonderful Zyban with it's wonderfully weird side effects (I was going to work in a t-shirt in December as it seemed far too hot outside for me). I had to go to a weekly Stop Smoking Group for my GP to prescibe them though.

When I had cravings, I found whinging helped a lot. Curiosity went away for a boys holiday to East Europe and unfortunately missed the first 3 weeks of my crazy mood swings and narkedness. He did however post me lots and lots of stupid little presents with the idea that I would open one any time I had a seriously bad craving. They mostly worked and I only had one 'relapse'.

For a couple of months after I stopped wanting cigarettes, I used to pretend to still have cravings to get his attention and get him away from his console.

Good luck with quitting! Enjoy your wanking.

i read that as nakedness and thought you must have been having really hot flushes


I think I love you



Yep, you're fantastic!

My colleague quit smoking, he went cold turkey(ish he used patches for a short time), during the fag break, he would take a fag break, go outside with a cup of coffee and chat to the other smokers for 5 minutes without smoking. Half the smokers didn't even realise he had quit for ages. It worked for him, but I can't see that it would work for everyone.

I always used to do that largely as a protest when I worked at the council and they nearly all smoked. I just brought in my Gameboy and whenever they went out, I Mario'd.

I've always suspected this was at least partly why my contract wasn't picked up after 6 months.

--

It's not going to help you but the one guy at work who used to smoke a lot found out his wife was pregnant so of course he had to stop smoking because he doesn't hate his kids like the chav mums I pass must do. His doctor suggested you set a date and stop dead there.

Halfway home he thought "But that would be horrible, awaiting that day, why don't I just stop now."

And that was 2 years ago. It's an interesting tactic.

He did the gum for a while, then switched to standard gum and is now largely addicted to Wrigley's Extra.

I'm probably not someone to be giving advice seeing as I smoke but I did manage to stay quit for a year. I found patches really took the edge off but I never used them for the full programme they list on the box. Just for about a week, long enough to deal with the loss of the habit separately from the actual withdrawal effects. I never found the need to start chewing gum or anything like that and I didn't start eating loads instead. Probably drank a bit more coffee each day though.

Why on earth were you smoking cold poultry in the first place? That's disgusting!

Edit: No advice from me. Lifetime non-smoker, long-time smugness addict

I have found that giving up smoking is incredibly easy if you actually want to stop smoking, but impossible if you're giving up because it would be sensible.

It's just a question of not smoking because you've decided you don't want to smoke.

Yeah, exactly that really. My stumbling block was weed to be honest, too many situations where joints were going round. Hard to stay quit and smoke occasionally. I'm going to quit again though and seeing as I very rarely bother with weed any more hopefully I should be able to stay quit. I just wish I didn't enjoy it so much.

Cold Turkey.

You've got to want to quit. My wife quitting at the same time was a tremendous help for me though.

Treat yourself for doing well along the way.

Replace tobacco with Port and Stilton. Job done.

FTFY

Yes, drinking 20 glasses of port a day won't have any long-term health implications at all.

Gout is your friend. It helps keep the tiles on the wall.

It will also make the smoking breaks a lot more entertaining.

Sadly you can't smoke and drink port inside the club anymore. Boo.

is how I quit - went to buy some fags, got to the supermarket car park, decided I didn't want to smoke anymore and went for a thrash round the unlit country roads. Didn't smoke for a good long while, now I occasionally slip up when out drinking. But only with one particular person, really peculiarly. And the hangover is always extra-shit because of it. Then I don't smoke again for weeks or months, until I'm out on the lash with him again. Madness.

I can't be arsed to stop smoking. It's too much fun.

Mm. I remember some manager once asking why a non-smoking colleague and I were standing around chatting for 15 minutes one afternoon, and I responded with something about the fact that we didn't smoke and therefore hadn't already had our four fag breaks for the day. He wasn't happy. Oddly enough, through entirely unrelated reasons, the company later installed rules for smokers, 'forcing' them to stop smoking outside the front of the building (which by that point looked like the biggest ashtray outside of a club) and restricting them to just two breaks per day of no more the 15 minutes each. To say they all went HULK SMASH crazy is an understatement, but then this was the 1990s.

Completed Super Mario Bros DX that way though

I've never worked anywhere that does allow smoke breaks. I just used to take my Health and Safety mandated "VDU breaks" and smoke on those.

fag breaks piss me right off. Why are people allowed to poison themselves on the clock while us tar-free individuals have to graft on?

It's a disability. Not allowing them their fag breaks would be discriminating against thick people and breaching their human rights, innit.

I'm quite frankly astonished that places that clock you a 'breaks allowance' would actually give more time to smokers.

it's just that standing up and saying 'fag break' gives you 15 minutes of free time, but if I said I was going for a walk I'd be shouted down.

This is my old job by the way. My current job I'm free as a bird and make my own time, hence the endless BeeXing

Everyone here gets 30 mins lunch, and a floating 30 mins to do whatever you like with for the rest of the day. Most smokers take 2-3 10 minute fag breaks, while us non-smokers tend to take 15 mins in the morning and again in the afternoon.

Me? I tend to work through mine. I just take regular breaks of two minutes here and there away from my desk. That and the internet.

wait, myp, you work?

It's a vague approximation. In fact, a lot of my job involves sitting around and waiting for stuff; without this place I'd probably go insane.

one of my friends did it with nicotine skin patches. He says that nowadays just the thought of smoking makes him want to throw up

I tried those once. Massive skin irritation (and for me, that's saying something), and horrible, horrible dreams.

Then he's lucky, when I quit the thought of smoking just made me want to smoke.

Cigarette smoke does now make me retch. Cigars and pipe smoke, however, yummo.

I'm trying to get hold of one of those toy pipes that blows bubbles - they don't seem to be available anywhere any more. Anyone got any ideas?

A Jackson Pipe?

I hope nobody is on that drug that's in the news today about making you feel suicidal.

Things must be severe if you need hardcore medication like that to help you quit though.

I was considering Zyban once, although there were details of a worrying level of suicides among patients - this was a number of years ago, mind, and Mogwai appears to have had a successful (if odd) experience with it.

When I used to work at Iceland and the lads used to go for a fag break I used to say 'I'll have myself a tea break then' and I did so we all won in the end

I helped my ex quit smoking-he did cold turkey on it worked! I used to keep him occupied aswell-going to the cinema and such like so he couldn't have a ciggy-mean, but he wanted me to help and I did

Good luck Mali-bear!

Mali - tell MrsA that in order to help beat your cravings she should give you a blozzer every time you need a fag. Dead cert for quitting.

If someone had Crohn's Disease and needed extra-long toilet breaks, you wouldn't begrudge them that. I got addicted to nicotine as a minor who was given cigs by people who should have known better, yes I was an idiot to start but at that agge one does not necessarily understand the full gravity of the thing.

Besides which, it has been raining constantly for two years now, do you really think we enjoy our fag breaks anymore?, or even sitting in a pub needing a fag and then having to go outside and get windswept half to death just so we can concentrate on the evening out?

Working with people who have a variety of addictions, I'm becoming less stressed about how I fell regarding my smoking and in turn better able to reduce. I'm starting patches tomorrow. And I'll get more work done, but attitudes like yours make things worse. I don't rag on my heroin users, or my alcoholics, I am supportive... and good progress is made. Two detoxed in the last month after a combined half-century of inebriation. because I don't try to pick on them for something they hate themselves for not being strong enough to stop.

I encourage all sanctimonious non-smokers to try it for three months (I'll supply free the smoothest, least offensive tobacco going) and then 'just give up and stop skiving'. Three months ain't going to hurt you at all, aside from the first day or two, after all

An interesting idea.

smoking is not a disease. no-one is forced to smoke. nicotine addiction withdrawal lasts 2 days. show some spine and just stop. stop whining about an entirely self-inflicted condition. people with eating problems don't get snack breaks do they?

There'll be loads of cold turkey in the states tomorrow. take a holiday.

i'm in an interesting mood. I think I'll log out now. see y'all tuesday

Oh god, I love it. Spending a couple of minutes outside in the foulest weather imaginable is just exhilarating. Plus, it makes you appreciate the warmth inside all the more.