Be Excellent To Each Other

I've just stumbled across a rather old and amusing/disturbing piece by legendary author Larry Niven on the topic of Superman having sex, entitled 'Man of Steel - Woman of Kleenex'.

Click here to read

Bless the man. When I was younger I used to wonder how Lt Cmdr Data would cope with things like puzzle games and flat tires and other tricky or frustrating situations, using his super strength and psionic brain. Mr Niven has done the same thing with the ("Man" -Ed.) of Steel and shagging.

"It's impossible. Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes can handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun, right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry his child?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"He's an alien, for Christ's sake! His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom. But that would kill him!"

I've got the collection with that piece in.

I like Larry Niven. Of his stuff I have to say I like Ringword, Tales of Known Space and Footfall the best. His aliens are always hugely inventive, and I love the Kzinti and Puppeteers. I'd really like Doctor Who to take a look at his stuff actually, and realise that you can have stories revolving around small sets of characters and limited but deadly stakes that are still hugely entertaining and mind-blowing.

His flaws? Rather substandard human characters and a tendency to write an ultra-perfect version of himself into books - most notorious in Footfall with a bunch of sci-fi writers the President keeps consulting to keep the baby-elephant alien invasion at bay. Still, churlish of me to pick holes in his stuff as he hugely entertained me through High School and I retain affectioin for his works still. Yes.

Well, yes. While the Kzinti in the Man-Kzin Wars books (which I concede are not his writing) are always interesting, the humans almost always came across as Hollywood-style stereotypes.

Of course, having read adventure/fiction from other authors (Wilbur Smith's Cry Wolf in particular put me off, big time) I shouldn't complain too much, but one can't help but pick out stereotypes where one sees them.