Be Excellent To Each Other

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7667499.stm

This got me to thinking. Do you wash your hands, you filthy fucking people? I try not to do things like touch public toilet door handles without some kind of barrier to the germs I know to be lurking there, particularly after I've just washed my hands. I also avoid touching other public things that have no doubt had shitty hands all over them, like poles (not those from Poland) and other door handles on buses/trains. I'm no bacteria-phobe but when I'm 100% sure some smelly dirt shit has no doubt rubbed their aids all over things, I try not to touch them.

And chaps, just because you don't piss all over your hands doesn't mean I want to rub my hands over your allegedly clean cock and then go for lunch either. Please wash those hands regardless.

Poll-ver to you.

Filthiest, germiest thing in a public toilet? The taps. The ones you turn off with your nice clean just-washed hands. Enjoy.

Always, always wash my hands when I've been to the toilet, if I've emptied the cat's litter tray, etc. With hand wash, not just water.

My finger nails always seem to be pretty dirty, though. I've no idea why.

Which I turn on and off with my elbows, usually. You can't catch me.

I'm in the hardcore 'wash hands a lot' category. If I haven't washed them for a while, I wash them anyway. Clean hands be good.

The only time I get dirty nails (when I haven't been doing something obvious like gardening) is when I've been out drinking, but it's not so bad recently. So, do you smoke? Hang around smokers? Walk through city centers?

Malc

I rarely wash my hands in public toilets, as I feel they are just going to be worse than when they started, I always wash my hands after going to the loo at home or whatever.

Malc

I like that the stats pretty much show that Londoners are clean, and those in Newcastle are filthy.

What if they wash their member after using the toilet as well?

A chap's chap should be the cleanest part of his body, if he knows what's good for him.

Well if you're going to annoy the snot out of me on a daily basis, at least you have clean hands while you're doing it

In the immortal words of Jimmy Carr, I don't wash my hands after going for a piss. I simply wash my cock first thing in the morning and then I'm good for the day!

touché

I wash them every time I use the toilet, more often than not before eating, whenever they get dirty, and if they ever start to feel a bit clammy.

I voted for the second option though. I don't always wash before eating. Fast Food, for example — I'm not going to wash my hands in their toilets before picking up a burger or sniping fries.

I'm of the variety that are pretty sure that their knob is cleaner than a grotty tap in a public lav. Anyway, a few germs are good for the old immune system.

OUTTED!

I wash my hands far too frequently, aye. If I'm in the kitchen and have touched a few pan handles or something, I'll always rinse my hands before leaving the room. Arriving home from anywhere, especially if I've been on a bus, is grounds for a good 2-minute brain-surgeonly scrub.

I'll tell you what I hate.

When a bar or club decides to employ someone to ransom hygiene from you.

Thanks but I am actually able to expel urine from my bladder and then clean up any consequences without the need for help thanks.

When you go out for a drink you don't want that massive social awkwardness making you repress your bladder.

And with my constitution if I was paying him a pound a time he'ld make a fortune.

Haaaang on - You go to clubs where they offer to hold it for you? Are you going out drinking with Grim...?

I think he means those 'toilet attendants' who give you a squirt of cologne, sell you a lollipop or whatever. Of course, what they're really there for is to keep an eye on the bogs and call the bouncers if there's any fighting or drug dealing going on there.

FUCKING

I ACTIVELY AVOID going to places where they've paid some illegal immigrant (not being racialist, but they're nearly always African) to intimidate/guilt me into paying him for hand towels, just because he's hoarded them all and then hands one to me.

I absolutely fucking despise the entire concept.

They are not paid -- they are normally working for tips alone. The BBC had a big writeup here.

A big write up that explains that they should be getting minumum wage - and in the eyes of the club they are (even thought they are well aware they are not). It's just that the agency that employeed them keeps it all, and they just get left the tips.

Well that makes me hate the clubs in question a lot more.

I'm not posh to ever have been somewhere with a toilet attendant.

Except, no I think about it, Harrods, which probably invalidates my argument.

I had a nigerian mate who did that job. Punters treated him like shit. They have to buy all the stuff they sell themselves you know, no subsidies from the venue (at least in my mate's case) and at least one git every night would rob/steal a bottle. He hated the job but being on a student visa and working on his phd full-time, it was the only thing he could feasibly do.

He repeatedly broke his laptop though (not at work) and brought it for me to fix. The guy was a spyware magnet. I always found it ironic, considering his nationality.

They had one in O'Neills in Cardiff the other night when I was there with people. Which also invalidates your argument.

Defo* not just posh places. I live in Liverpool. Posh here can be defined as 'most guys don't piss directly on the floor'

* sorry, can never remember how to spell definitely (is that right )

Don't do this. Ever.

I feel for people doing the job I really do, but the solution isn't to create a middleman position that need not exist, and that exploits people who have difficulty being allowed to work.

The irony being that a little stall outside the toilets, or in the corridor leading up to them - or whatever - selling condoms, perfumes, lolly pops and so on, would do really well - and I would use it. But placing the stall between me and hand towels just demeans everyone concerned.

And if you need someone to stop illegal activities taking place in your toilets, you pay someone to do that.

Fixed for accuracy. What's that bar that's very near a bridge over the Severn, with lots of bright lights everywhere and shelves with posh knicknacks on? There were some DEAD FIT lesbians in there,

That's pretty awful the way they treat those bathroom attendants, which makes me hate the whole thing even more.

Okay, I've near been anywhere posh and/or violent enough to have a toilet attendant.

(Except previously mentioned example.)

Depends which bridge, Welsh or English. If it's the English, probably C:21 or The Peach Tree which is a bit of a gay hot-spot.

If the Welsh, then it might be Bar Med (now closed down) but that didn't really have a high gay customer base as far as I know.

Shin's more of a pub/clubgoer than me though.

I like your stall idea. Call it "Something for the Weekends" and we have a business plan. I really dislike any high-pressure, 'make-you-feel-guilty' sort of job to, but meeting this guy made me always at least acknowledge the attendants and tip them if I do anymore than wash my hands. But you're right, if they want tipping just cos they're sat there, fuck em. There's a big issue seller in Liverpool that is quite obviously an Eastern European, possibly a 'traveller' type. I don't quite know why, but it irks me somewhat.

Comin' over 'ere, stealin' our pavemen's.

God, I've just realised how my my last post reads. I'm a subconcious racist

Looked pretty concious to me.

"Most of the time?!"

That's it, none of you are ever coming round to my place EVER.

I wasn't really calling you a racist*, it amused me.

YES THAT'S RIGHT OTHER PEOPLES' HARDSHIP AMUSES ME. BRITISH OR FORRIN, I'M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES SNOBBO!

But not really. Apart from the equal opportunities bit.

* It could be read that way, but it is sad and (presumably) point-defeating to go to another country and end up homeless.

Without going all Daily Mail, I really don't see why people schelp to another country to be homeless. Surely they could be homeless in a country where they speak the language, like the food and aren't looked upon with scorn by casual racists like me.

But every time I go to the public loos I'm the only one washing my hands! You all lie!
Or have never been to the same loos as I at the same time......

You're assuming they know that's what'll happen.

Good point. I'll stop and ask her tomorrow.

I lump the fuckers with clipboards who accost you in the street into this group... in that you don't necessarily want to tell someone who approaches you on the street to fuck off in case they're just asking for directions. And they exploit this, some very aggressively.



Especially if the bathroom stinks of piss and is filthy, which it often is despite the presence of the attendant.