Be Excellent To Each Other

Whoops, missed this completely. No pictures at all, no. I should take some, if only to prove to people how much of a shitbox it actually is, when they think I'm bragging about having an M3 as if it's some pretty E46/59 that isn't falling to bits, or something.

I got it back tonight, which is handy because the MOT expires on Monday and so does my use of the Octy - Charl needs it mid-afternoon all next week. It really couldn't have picked a better fortnight for exploding.

I've only done a few miles in it, but jesus it's a relief to be out of the Octy with its van driver vantage point, laggy turbo, FWD understeer and sloppy suspension. The replaced bushes have quieted the rear end right down too, and the tracking that came with it has fixed the pulling left. Awesome. And no more ROARing at 80+! Hooray!


Bwahahaha, really? Are they the rules? When I took my Civic Type-R to Oulton Park all I needed was a helmet and a black-on-yellow novice cross stuck to the arse (of the car). Course, I'd've been fucked in a fire, but I was driving my 3 month old £16k car without track insurance, so that'd've been best.

Car went in for its two yearly/80,000k service.

Faults I reported at the same time:
-possible creaking, offside front suspension
-water ingress, driver's door
-faulty central locking, driver's door
-worn gear shift base (the plastic base has had a groove worn in it by the metal spring intended to return it to the centre when you pop it out of gear)
-boot lid light switch still broken from where it wasn't fixed in the last service
-where's my fucking paint touch-up stick from the last service (two years ago)

They have called to advise:
-no problems found with the front suspension
-yes, water ingress in the driver's door, causing the central locking fault
-yes, the gear shift thing is worn
-*something* wrong with the light switch, possibly wiring fault

BUT ALSO! Rear brake discs fucked. I told them I was aware, as it had come up as an advisory in the last MOT. They said the brakes are only working at 50% of what they should. MOT guy said I knew how my car handled, and not to worry to much about it if it was driving fine until the brakes came due for replacement. Well, I've decided now is time for them to be replaced.

So, £500 total, they reckon, for all of the above. Ouch. Oooh. Oww.

Big up to VW. I asked if they would be so kind as to fix my engine undertray when they were doing the fuel pump. I mentioned as it was a 100,000 miler it probably wasn't worth ordering a new part.

They've taped it together and hung it all back up and it looks dandy. It was quite annoying going over bumps and your underneath hitting them.

So kudus to them for fixing that for free.

That's nothing! Mine was going in for its MOT the other week, when the radiator went POP! £644 for the radiator, MOT, an indicator bulb and two wipers. With the big service coming round in way under 2k miles (the indicator has been on the last 2k mark for ages).

And the Octy's MOT is due at the start of November, as is the cambelt and waterpump renewal.

Still, petrol's down another 2p, with what should be more coming soon.

Pfah. Car repair bills are nothing until the first time you learn the hard way that a timing chain is something that needs replacing.

Chain, or belt, though?

When mine had its belt done, service was just shy of £700.

The hard way, I said. As in 'clatter, bang, smash smash smash, £2000 please'.

I went to watch a Jaguar track day. My host had hired a professional racing driver to take his 45 year old MK2 around the circuit for a spin.

It was hilarious. I've got some footage somewhere of the guy in this 45 year old car burning up everything else on the track. While the XJS and E-Type owners were pottering around, he was going around the corners at Goodwood sideways. By the end of the day there were a load of tyre marks around the final chicane where he'd been hammering it around all day.

The driver apparently had a great time once he'd got used to the handling and all eyes had been on him everytime he tore around tyres screaming.

Cable ties are better for that.

Non-OE parts (belt, tensioner and waterpump) were £75 last time I looked. Labour won't be cheap. A timing chain should not normally need replacing within the design lifetime of the engine, although one of mates needed it doing on his Nissan Almera - "only" £500.
Argh. The chain tensioner obviously needed some love before then that hadn't been noticed (that's something else that'll need doing on mine before long, along with another grand or two's "maintainance").

Can I pay with these?

You do know that's not a badger right?

My first car was written off by this.
I'd like to think I know better now.

I thought that timing chains were basically fine for the life of the car, and that it was only timing belts that needed regular changes?

Either way, chains last a lot longer than belts, I know that much.

Yup, hence why I asked. Mine was a belt. And I know a few people on the Parker's forum who only buy chain-driven cars just so they have one less thing to worry about breaking.

Even belts aren't a worry if you get a non-interference engine.

So after 2 years, it's 500 quid to keep it running?

Fucking hell, frankly.

You should never have to change a timing chain. I guess it might be worth doing if, say, you have the engine out anyway.
You should, however, check your oil every week. Every week.

This goes double if you own a seventh-generation Celica, or an RX-8

Well, the service is £250-odd. The brake discs are £187. And the other sundry things that need fixing will push it up to £500.

The brake discs are the biggest expense, but I've decided they need doing, now. Things wear out on cars, man.

Or, of course, a Mazda 6 MPS. Cunting girly things.

The other chap in the dealer-provided minibus that took me back home was telling the driver everything that was wrong with his 206 that he'd just dropped off, combined with a 'and it's only three years old!'

Much as I would have enjoyed telling him that's what he gets for buying a 206, I didn't want my face punched in.

But they can be down down at the local independent tyre and brake place easily. Ask them for a quote and then tell the dealer you are taking it down there. The dealer may match the price.

I had a timing belt snap on my Astra (the 2l 8v Vauxhall engine from the mid-80s; Astra was a Mk2 GTE). Fitted a new belt and it started right up, covered another 10k miles before I sold it. I was dead chuffed!

This, brake discs for the 205 are fuck off cheap, and not 180 each, to begin with. I can't imagine that brake disc technology has progressed that much from a car that's almost as old as Shin, and uses discs of metal to stop it.

£180 for brake discs? Hmmm. Say, £60 for discs, £20 for pads, 1hour piss-easy labour. Yes, £180 is steep. M-A, buy the bits and bring them here and pay me and MyFinger £50 each. We'll fit them, no worries.

Depends what type of discs. If I want performance level braking power for my Celica, I can easily expect to pay £220+ for a set of decent discs.

MA does not have drilled and grooved discs on the rear of his Octavia, I assure you. Nor does he have Green Stuff pads, and nothing anywhere is made from carbon fibre.

My non-BMW M5-spec (340mm, or something? Pretty huge) discs are being remarkably good at stopping 1.6 tonnes of hurtling 3-series, at only £100+VAT, plus £60 of pads. Dealer prices are not worth it.

Indeed. Two generations of my family (grandfather, father) were braking engineers; most common car brake discs (GazChap is correct to say you can do exotic things) are nothing more than dumb slabs of moulded steel. They are not expensive to buy or difficult to fit.

It probably was the belt then. To be honest all I really heard them say was "£2000 please".

8v or 16v engine in that? By and large a cambelt/chain break is guaranteed to bend all or most of the valve stems, meaning you're looking at a total rebuild. When my Astra stopped, I got a passer-by to turn the engine over whilst I looked into the oil filler cap; when I didn't see the camshaft turn my heart sank. I couldn't believe it when it started back up without damage. Mike my Really Good Mechanic Mate has seen "over a hundred" cambelt failures in his time, and my Astra was "number three" that survived unharmed.

2.0 16V. Smashed the pistons and the head to shit in the 3s it took me to pull over and kill the engine.

I spent Sunday taking the gearbox out of my Corsa and putting it back in again to change the clutch. Except I didn't bother changing it in the end because it's only done 120,000 miles and it was only the release bearing that was knackered.

Ouchie. I think the secret to my lucky escape with the Astra was that it failed on turnover, so there were very few RPMs driving the shaft at the time.

My Corsa just sailed through its 2nd MOT with only a "Do the front brake disks at some point before next time" to its name.

So I'm vaguely interested in what my localish semi-indie Vauxhall garage will charge when I get it done at the service in a few months.

Oh, I paid for fitting on top - while I'll fiddle with some bits, the braking system I'll be leaving well alone thankyouverymuch (although I did the pads on my Civic with my dad's help).

I had a Rover 220 that snapped its belt and just happened to miss all the valves. Unfortunately I didn't even consider that it might have done, because I still took the head off and had them all out.
One ten-minute compression test would have saved me two days of work

I can tell you only vaguely because I've never paid to have it done. But the parts (discs and pads) will cost about £80 and the job can probably be done in an hour.

Fail!

I checked the maintenance schedule on my Picasso's timing chain this morning: 150,000 miles. Whilst long, that's not necessarily outside the life of the engine; in fact it's ideally timed to really trip some future owner of the car up.

They don't tend to break though (hopefully). First it'll stretch to the point that the valve timing is a mile out and it won't start any more.

Here's one for you mechanically-minded people. If I was concerned that one or more of my CV joints was on the way out, what would I be looking out for symptomatically? Are there any noises commonly associated with CV joint failure and wear?

I'm really hoping that the bodyshop hasn't fucked the car up when I go back to pick it up on Thursday. Gonna take it for a celebratory car-wash and photo shoot I think

Clunks at low speeds when turning under full lock, isn't it? Also, don't you jack it up and feel for play in the wheel, same as looking for bearing failure?

Yes: clicking / thunking noises while turning. The most common cause is for the rubber boot to have split and the grease come out, the CV joint will die soon afterwards. So you can easily check if that's happened.
They usually get extremely noisy before they fail altogether, at which point you'll lose drive.

Bugger. Sounds like that's happening to mine then, although it's not clunks so much as "groans".

Surely it's not normal for CV joints to do that with less than 35,000 miles on the clock?

No. Is the boot in one piece?

Check the boots.
However, I don't think they'd "groan" anyway. That sounds more like a wheel bearing.

Wouldn't have a clue what I was looking at, to be honest. I really should learn a bit more about cars.

The "groans" happen at low speeds, especially when pulling forward and turning. Doesn't sound like it's coming from the wheels, but I wouldn't know anyway.

Turn the wheels fully one way. Look around behind one of them, and out of the centre of it is sticking the driveshaft. The CV joint is the "flexible" bit that allow it to turn. There is a rubber boot covering it. See if it's split or otherwise isn't attached properly.