Be Excellent To Each Other

I did it! Got wed!

Normally there is one half of the happy couple who is calm and collected, and one in tears. Well, I was in pieces for most of it.

Songs sung, dances danced, drinks drunk. She never looked more beautiful.

I'm floating on air.

Congratulations! It's my turn next July, eep.

Hooray! Congrats to you and Mrs Plissken!

Congrats! Why was Frank Bruno doing your vows?

CONGRATULATIONS!

Excellent! Congrats to the happy couple.

When you having your big Honeymoon?

Congratulations, Mr Plissken!



-100000000 bananas for not spotting a Princess Bride quote.

Congratulations to that man...and woman.

Congrats, Mr & Mrs Plissken!

Good news, congrats man. I really should get around to setting a date with me and Hell's Bells. 8 years engaged now :/

Congratulations.

I'm September.

Hi September.

Worst centrefold ever. Also, hoorah for Mr and Mr(s) Plissken!

Tomorrow! Hence the panicky other PHP thread.

Congratulations to the Plisskins! And BOOOO to Kalmar for not having an encyclopaedic knowledge of The Princess bride...

Congratulations mang! I've been engaged for about 18 months now with no sign of a date. Or, more importantly, some money to pay for the wedding with. Harumph.

This thread is slightly depressing as I am single and the subject to numerous restraining orders.

Why do you think I work abroad?

Congrats, man!

Here is some friendly advice from a fellow married person: DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

Upon my honour, I wish you joy good sir! I am with child with happiness for your union!*

Hope you have a really good honeymoon mate, and many, many splendid years ahead. All the bestest! And props for the Princess Bride quote.

*I love outmoded slang and greetings.

Hooray! and congratulations

Let's face it, you'd have to be a right evil cunt to have a child anyway.

Indeed. And parents are right bastards for not having smothered their kid to death at birth.

It would be the HUMANE AND MORAL THING TO DO.

I was actually dead during my birth. TRUFAX.
edit: Aww, that's sweet that you edited your post Mr. Chris, but I saw it say "your parents", you hatemongerer.

So was Sam. It sucks. DON'T DO IT!

Oh heavens, was he? My eldest sister was, and it caused lots of health problems for her. Is he all okay?



Well, I thought it was funny, but was worried you'd take it the wrong way.

But then I realised you enjoy taking it the wrong way, so I needn't have bothered.

Parents? Homeowners, the lot of them.

That sucks indeed sir, what happened with Sam?

Whilst I was being pushed out, the cord became wrapped around my throat, hanging to death within my Mother's vagina*. Apparently they went "THere's the head! Oh... er...", as I was rather blue. Fortunately, there was no permanent physical or mental damage.

* Freudians, this is my gift to you.

Mr. Chris, I only enjoy taking it the wrong way from you. It's all that experience you have, soliciting.

Something similar happened to my nephew during birth, but they didn't notice it had happened whilst he was in the womb. Due to the length of time he spent basically being throttled to death, he got asphyxiated and consequently has cerebral palsy, autism and some other syndrome they need to invent a name for. And the hospital wasn't negligent, apparently.

And of course the council have consistently been doing everything they can to avoid assisting with him, which means his parents have spent thousands over the last 16 years on solicitors' fees appealing the council's decisions so he can actually get decent education and therapeutic care.

I utterly despise local authorities.



At £215 per hour you'd better start saving for next month's treat then.

Is that a typical walk-in consultancy fee? I may need to run a job contract via a lawyer soon (I have a job offer I'm considering with attached stock options and I'd like to get the contract checked out by a third party), is that what I'm going to be looking to pay?

Depends where you're going - is it a high street firm type place / smallish commercial firm? If so you're probably looking at closer to £100 to £150 for someone of my level (4 years qualified, so 6 years practicing) and maybe £200 to 250 for a partner. If you let me know the name of the firms you're thinking of, or even the name of the town you're doing it in, I can probably stab a guess at the cost of a solicitor or partner.

I work at a pretty large, top 50 UK firm, so we're quite expensive - still cheaper than someone like Eversheds or Linklaters though, who would charge closer to £300 for someone like me. Some firms charge £1000 an hour for a partner (and we'd only bill about £350 for a partner).

Congrat Mr Plissken*.

* I spelt** your name right.
** I ctrl-C'd ctrl-V'd your name right.

Yeah, most likely. I would start with the firm who my family have been using for years for all sorts of solictory things (Rubin, Lewis, O'Brien in Cwmbran) but I don't know if they do contract law. Beyond that I'm digging things out of the yellow pages I think. I'm in Cwmbran, in South Wales, near Newport and Cardiff.

Try http://www.chambersandpartners.com or http://www.legal500.com for local recommendations - they tend towards the slightly larger firms, but Chambers has plenty of smaller local firms in who won't be prohibitively expensive. But in your area you'll probably be looking at an average rate (balancing out between the partner who will supervise the work and the solicitor/trainee who'll actually do it) of £150-200.

Noted. Thanks Chris!

So we can buy your ass for £300 an hour?

[does sums]

If we chip in about £1.76 each, Mr Chris can be our bitch for an hour.

Whoever is looking after the forum gimp outfit, can you get it on standby?

Sam managed to get the cord around his neck twice (as in around it twice, not at two separate times). The doctors pinned an ECG thing onto his head while he was still in the womb and he flatlined about twenty seconds before he was born. He come out grey and limp, like something that not only wasn't going to live, but that never had or could live. Mrs. Grim... was so out of it with all the pain she had no idea what was going on, so every time she looked at me I had to put on a "yup, everything's fine" face even though I was petrified.
The docs put him on a magic machine which blows air into their face and massages him - they didn't zap him (to my knowledge), and it took him about three minutes (which felt like about three hours) before he took on some colour and started to cry.
He got an 8 in that 'life' test after five minutes, and a 10 a few minutes later, so he's fine.

The moral of the story, as far as I'm concerned, is: If you do have children, please, for the love of God, do it in a hospital. Home births just aren't worth the risk.

I get my legal stuff done cut price by sleeping with the lawyer's daughter.

Grim... sounds much like what happened with me. Seriously though, I'm disgustingly healthy, so I'm sure Sam will be just fine

Very hearty congratulations.

Heavens - well, I'm glad all is okay then.

Mind you, they come out looking pale purple, limp and looking pretty lifeless when they're born alive. Fucking scary stuff even when nothing is going wrong.



Well, we're doing this one at home. The hospital was so fucking incompetent with Olly that we're risking it at home. We have an ace midwife, and a nearby hospital they can be whisked to if anything goes wrong.

Most of the people we know with young kids our age have had home births - it's a very small percentage that have something go so wrong that you need a doctor, so you were very unlucky.

And in fact doctors can actually make things worse, according to a paediatrician I know, as they tend to jump straight in for the medical procedures when a midwife could probably finish things off without Vontusing, forceps or a C-Section. This is because doctors are all afraid of getting sued, and are always in a hurry, too. And like playing with knives.

Well, there's nowt more likely to cause arguments than opinions birth and childcare - it's worse than politics.

But, back on topic - congraturations again Plissken!

I let you have these hippy home birth views Mr Chris ( ), but if you or anyone else on the forum tell me your not giving your kids MMR I will come after you.

After you so hard.

With science.

My wife used to work in the NHS and is all sciency, her mum's a nurse and her dad's a doctor. He totally had the MMR, man. About three weeks ago. As well as the last pneumococchal one, which always makes him ill.

Awesomesauce. As it should be.

Sorry for that, I've been spending too long at badscience.net and the terrifying jabs forum.

Oh, they're fucking mental.

Living in stroud, as we do, we know some real nutjob hippies. one of my wife's friends doesn't believe in giving her kids [i]any sort of medicine at all[/i, as it "messes with their system and their natural defences".

FFS.

I mean it's bad enough that their some of them will end up literally killing their children, but they are really hitting the heard immunity too and then everything falls apart. ARAGGHAG GNGUGGHIUNG.

Ha! The only person even less enthusiastic about the idea of having kids than me, is my girlfr wife.

In the past, I've described her as "about as fond of kids as King Herod".

Congrats