Sir Taxalot wrote:
Mimi wrote:
What kind of clutter are you dealing with, Sir T? I know you’ve mentioned this being a problem for you a few times and I sympathise as my mental health is deeply affected by clutter (which I’m sure sounds silly to some people, but Russell will attest to this).
It doesn’t mean we live without stuff. We have loads of stuff. I just have found ways to cope with it and systems to counteract the clutter forming, and also how to let go of some possessions without it being and overwhelming task.
I’m not sure I can help, but I honestly believe little changes can make a big difference. Also doors. Bookcases with doors. Sanity saver.
I don't want to moan (well, I do, to get it off my chest, but it's very negative sounding and it's hard not to make it sound personal).
Lady T is a profligate buyer of things, but she is very reluctant to ever get rid of stuff. We're talking books (the bookcases are two-books deep, so its impossible to see what's in the 'back row'). Pretty much none have been read but new ones keep appearing. Clothes - so many clothes and shoes, many still with tags on. Baby toys - we have never thrown out or moved on a single toy or item of clothing from any of our 3 kids. Kitchen stuff - there is a cupboard just full of drink bottles (there must be 30 in there), last year i emptied some out (into boxes, which are still in the garage) but new ones appeared. Other tat - for some reason we have 3 print-scanner devices. A fucking piano that has never and will never be played. Drawers just full of tupperware. At least 5 solid plastic cool boxes (they call them 'eskies' out here).
Any time things are 'sorted out' just becomes in my view cramming stuff in more densely, piling it higher and deeper. Did you know we have garage space for 5 cars? Given the amount of stuff we have, you may not be surprised to hear that no cars could currently be parked inside. At times, the entire place feels like an obstacle course.
I didn’t spot this earlier (I got too excited at the prospect of finally having some decent lift insulation).
It does sound difficult. Have you had a gentle discussion with Lady T about this? Explain that it does have mental ramifications for you, and that you want her to be comfortable in her possessions but also to be comfortable in her space. To start with something small, like the drinks bottles. How many do you likely need? Ask her which are her favourites and go from there.
I saw someone who had been overwhelmed by their stuff, who decided to sell five things on eBay each week, sort five for donation and throw five pieces of junk. Slowly but surely things improved.
I did also see a tip for those for whom ‘does it spark joy’ doesn’t really work, and that was to instead ask ‘if this had poo on it would I wash it off, rebuy it, or throw it away?’
With the kids toys, why don’t you offer to help them eBay some things and say that the money will go towards a fund for them to either buy something for themselves or fund a kid-chosen day out? We prepare for new things at Christmas and birthdays by asking D if there are any toys and books he’s either grown out of or exhausted his enjoyment of, pop them on eBay, and then the money goes into his Rooster Money account.
If you and the kids can model that behaviour and feel the benefits that the space gives back to you, maybe Lady T will be able to experience what that gives you all back and find it easier to let go of some belongings.