Be Excellent To Each Other

I bought an airfryer this week, and very much want to see what it can do with tofu

Ooh, please do tell if you experiment. I have considered one of those but have been holding off because of kitchen size. I could definitely get one if it was worthwhile, though, as we now have a tabletop oven I’d be happy to lose.

Jem's throwing a little shindig in the garden this Friday and I've said I'll try and do some food for it on the smoker.

I now have a pork butt sat on the kitchen worktop that is sufficiently large enough that our kitchen scales refuse to measure it (~6kg), and suddenly I'm wondering if I've bitten off more than I can chew

Did it kill you?

I would strongly consider doing it the day before. Pork is a dickhole and doesn't care about your timings.

Concur - a 6kg pork butt can easily go 20 hours if it feels like it

I don't like the idea of a 6kg pork butt dickhole

Yeah, I was gonna start it off on the Wednesday evening, although I'm at the office all day Thursday which isn't ideal.

What charcoal are you using? Heat beads will get you 5-6 hours between top ups but that won't get you through a day at the office

Also you're at risk of disrespecting the pork, which won't go well for you

So if it can take over 20hrs and the charcoal won’t last 5hrs, do you have to keep getting up in the night to take care of it?

Yup

I can’t imagine getting up in the middle of the night to tend to food. It’s like my friend keeps trying to convince me to take on a sour dough starter, but having to feed my food sounds like a massive faff. Since when did food become more demanding than a toddler?

Yeah, fuck that noise in the pork butt hole.

I have admiration for those with the patience and commitment to such things, but I need my cooking much less demanding than that.

I'm using heat beads. I seem to get a lot longer than 5-6 hours out of them, though - the last cook I did with the brisket and pork was nearly a full 12 hours and I didn't need to top it up, and I still had quite a few briquettes at the end that were barely used.

If you think they'll last it, fair enough. The other consideration is the water pan emptying but I guess it's pretty big in the WSM

Yeah, the water pan was probably just reaching "needs a topup" state when I took everything off last time.

Thing I'm more worried about is that, being at the office, I won't be able to monitor temps so I'll have to keep pestering Jem.

Take it to work.

buy a remote thermometer
setup a webcam
take the joint round to to a "yes chef" and pick it up a day later when it's done
employ one of the children as labourer when you are at work

Just say "sod it" and microwave it instead.

Cut it into small bits and fry it.

Wogans Srouser Mulge?

Wimbledon Sodomiser Matriarchy

Considered these two. Either way involves spending about £100 which I don't really have

Wider Schemes of MaliA

Also you still can't do anything about it without calling in Jem if the thermometer says bad things

Yeah, that too, heheh.

What? Like, "Ooooooo, it's a bit hot in here, stupid."

That's if you get the Barbara Windsor model, yes

*Ba-doing*

Pork went on at 4pm - a little later than I would have liked, but couldn't get back from the office any earlier really.

The weather's turned into an absolute shitheap of course - I knew it was going to be wet and rainy, but the wind's picking up too which (from everything I've read) more of a concern when it comes to temperature regulation.

Just taken it off to rest, about 16.5 hours in. Quicker than expected, probably because I had some difficulty keeping the temperature at the lower end overnight. Hopefully will still all be OK!

Did some boerewors yesterday - bloody nice stuff.

Anthropologists go on about the Stone Age and the Bronze age and shit but they seriously gloss over the importance to human development of the Sausage Age

The Saus Age.

When adjusting the vents underneath your BBQ grill I can recommend not getting raging hot blobs of sticky residue on your thumb.

Nice deep divot it was, until it started puffing up.

I made wool roll bread today. It’s so FLUFFY. It is like clouds… BUT clouds filled with chopped raisins, which we all know are the best kinds of cloud.

I made mine with a milk roux starter, and cream instead of butter. Next time I will add some strained turmeric masala chai to the milk and steep some saffron in it, I think, and roll in some brown sugar instead of the fruit.

You can’t see the fruit in the picture because it pulls apart into five separate ‘rolls’ of sorts, and each contains a swirl of filling, but it was so light and soft and lovely. It smells quite like brioche when it’s coming out if the oven.

Wow, that looks amazing! It's making my mouth water just looking at it. :drool:

That looks absolutely bloody lovely! Is the recipe online?

It is. If you look for ‘Wool roll bread Apron’ that will get you the re Joe (beware, it’s a YouTube video, but a relatively short one and there is no wasted time). If you watch that and then expand the description it gives you the ingredients.

I followed that BUT I used a fifth of the flour and some of the milk to make a roux (just mixed them together until smooth and then cooked them whilst whisking until they went thick) leaving enough milk to bloom the yeast, then let that cool whilst I sorted the rest of the ingredients and let the yeast start in the milk, then added it all together and mixed. It’s an un-needed added step but I read about the roux starters for really light breads a while back and so thought I’d give it a go, and it worked beautifully so I don’t think I’d change that.

I baked it at 175°c for 25 minutes. Recipes seem to give anything from 17-40 mins baking time.

EDIT: Just remembered I can not only link but actually embed YouTube videos here.

Ta! It looks perfect for a doughnut, because I'm a heathen.

I was reading about the Japanese white bread that is absolutely nuts - we had some at a tea-and-toast cafe in Kyoto, insanely light and fluffy toast an inch thick! - and precooking a portion of the flour/liquid is what makes that too.

Shokupan? That’s where I had the idea for the roux! I heard about Shokupan on an episode of Sarah and Duck, and want to give it a try (and might attempt to next weekend) so pulled in some elements of that to make this just as an experiment.

I’m going to try and make another version of this, I think, by using the milk to steep some masala chai, turmeric and a little saffron, and then use that for the roux, and instead of fruit, just a light sprinkling of sugar. I’ve no idea if it will work but in my head it’s going to taste incredible.

That's the badger!

Sarah and Duck have a Japanese friend, John, who loves shokupan. Sarah goes to bread man and they make an extremely light loaf. They seem to skip the roux, though.

Channelling mini fop, it looks like a bum. Which is all the more reason for me to make it with her

I fully expect this query to be given the shortness its shrift deserves, but anyone have cooking times and direct or indirect heat guidance for BBQing vegetarian sausages. I've looked online and Cannae find owt.

I know a lot about cooking vegetarian food, but absolutely nothing about barbecues. Depending on the brand of sausage you are using they tend to cook slightly quicker than meat sausages in the oven/grill/frying pan. They only need to be hot all of the way through.

Cheers! That's helpful. Going to give them 10 mins indirect heat and I'll see if I kill anyone