Be Excellent To Each Other

I ate a Findus Crispy pancake last night.

It was mozzarella flavour and it was, to be honest, pretty disappointing. Very little mozzarella, dry casing, unsatisfactory.

But it got me to thinking- is there a dirty food in your kitchen? Your go to guilty/hungover food?

I have a huge soft spot for chicken and mushroom pot noodle. Once combined it in a big bowl of Smash. A taste sensation.

Air your grubby grub here.

Crispy pancakes were on my "fussy kid approved" list when I were a youngling, along with mini Kievs, cheese hamwich, Bernard Matthews turkey burgers and a few other dirty things. It's a miracle I made it to adulthood

Mini Kievs are wonderful.

I also recall having a very soft spot for breaded, minted lamb burgers at primary school. They were far better than they sound.

Dip babybel into raspberry yoghurt.

WAIT A MINUTE! "Findus" Fop? Is this guerilla marketing?

I used to be keen on scampi&lemon Nik Naks dipping into raspberry slush puppies. Also sliced banana and pickled onion monster munch sandwiches.

Pot Pasta Tomatoey Mozzarella is a new dirty favourite.

Ha, I did consider that cannibalism last night.

Don't worry, no guerrilla marketing here. I don't have the patience to play such a long game.

What's this savoury and raspberry confluence? Sounds like something worth trying.

When I was working away from home, running engineer induction courses, etc. I had a habit of eating in my hotel room because I was usually in a Travelodge and very few of them had on-site cafes or restaurants. So I'd just by stuff from the nearest supermarket up to the value of my evening meal allowance.

I went through phases of being good and getting bean salads and other healthy options, but then I'd weaken and add (and scoff in one sitting) a pack of full sized popadoms and a jar of salsa dip with a couple of pepperami hots. I had to stop with the pepperamis when I discovered it was them that was having a detrimental effect on my digestive system.

I'd also get through a family sized spicy foccacia on some days.

The pepparami, the dirtiest of all!

My daughter has unfortunately decided it's also her favourite food of all. We have to be very strict about her pepparami intake.

Also, given the option, a Firestick or a P.Hot?

I don't have a "dirty food" because I refuse to assign moral value to a foodstuff #petpeeve

(Biscuit spread is my go to food when I want to pig out on something definitely not good for me though.)

You, err, dip a Baby Bel in raspberry yoghurt and, err, eat it.

Luckily peperami are on the case, and reduce the size on a daily basis, it seems.

Mini Kievs are the fucking bomb.

Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney Pies. Fucking love 'em.

I got some of that Marmite-flavoured Peanut Butter and I'm powerful addicted to that, too.

I really like that but I find it awfully thin (runny?) if I don’t refrigerate it, and then it’s basically like trying to spread dry concrete, so I have to eat it out of the jar with a spoon.

I thought it was okay but nowhere near as good as just normal peanut butter so I won't be buying it again.

I have in the past eaten Super Noodles in a buttered bread roll. And I'd do it again.

Also, when I was young a friend introduced me to the delights of a ravioli toastie, made by sticking some of those Heinz ravioli from the can between two slices of bread and squeezing the whole thing into a Breville machine. It's a bit of a health and safety hazard though because the temperature the ravioli comes out as is incredible.

You know how when you were a kid, you got your school dinner in a plastic tray that was split down the middle with your mains on the left and your pudding on the right? Did anyone else ever dip their chips in the custard?

No? Just me. Ok then. Sorry

I did! Liked putting white pepper on it too

Years back when I was living at home with parents when we'd ran out of flavoured crisps and there was only ready salted left, I'd throw in a good dollop of coleslaw into the bag and mix it all up. Woofed it down while it was all still crunchy.

Might do that!

Has anyone tried jam and cheese sandwiches? They're great.

My colleague eats them, but he doesn't drink tea so is not to be trusted.

Bag of crisps into a bowl, pour baked beans on top, microwave. Serve with bread and butter.

That's fucking genius.

That's fucking heinous.

Yes.

Jam + cheese + onion is also awesome.

Let’s just nip this rumour in the bud right now. For the record: I do not nak.

I find it suffers from the same problem as most Marmite-branded spin-offs, i.e. not enough marmite.

When I was a teenager and microwaves were a new thing, I invented the cheese and Worcestershire sauce microwave sandwich. It was pretty awesome.

I don't really do dirty food as such anymore. I do quick food, though, and have a staple of meals I can rustle up in under 15 mins

Chicken roll. In any configuration, combined with anything. I know it's filth, and it stinks to high heaven, but it's just so moreish.

Put bacon in microwave for 3 minutes and pop.it into a sandwich.

Fuck off

We're banning him for this, right?

Microwaved bacon is actually not bad. It basically fries in its own fat.

Findus Crispy Pancake sandwiches?

Christ.

You put the crisps on first? Monster.

Walkers MAX Paprika sandwich.

Those microwave pizza things, not as good as they used to be, but still like them.

Chicago Town? Fucking right.

Hands off my Naks

Also, a bowl of piping hot bisto and tortellini.

BikNaks?

I think I realised what the Hots were doing to me before I migrated to Firesticks, so I haven’t even tried them.

The content of this thread would be a great basis for a foody TV series.

I may have mentioned this before.

Chips, mushy peas and gravy, from the chippy.

It’s essential that they are bought together in a tray because something mystical happens to them by the time you get home that you don’t get if you ask for them separately and just bung them on a plate.

They’re even better if you put them in a butty.