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 Post subject: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 13:21 
SupaMod
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"Praisebot"

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 17086
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Dear Beexers,

It’s been two weeks since I was elected as a mod and I want to thank you for choosing the obvious choice in leadership for our beloved forum. Nothing is more important to me than the smooth running of this fantastic website and I can’t do it without your help.

Whilst I have noticed plenty of good practice in my time here, I have also noticed a number of bad habits which will no longer be tolerated and will be addressed at your next performance review. These will be scheduled in the next 6 weeks by myself and your line manager.

In the mean time, I have put together a set of rules to bring cohesion to the day to day running of the forum. They may seem radical, but they’re for the good of you all and will clearly help us to attract new members and create a positive workplace moving forward.

We must be seen to be keeping ahead of the national trends in forum activity and will only thrive with the dedicated commitment of all members. With this in mind, along with your £2 a month subscription fee, you will be required to read and understand the following rules.

1) No writing on the walls.
2) You must keep your desk tidy at all times.
3) Pirate type jokes should only be made on designated pirate days
4) Video nasties are now banned
5) As part of Beex, you waiver any right to start a rival forum.. even if it is dedicated to meat
6) You must not try to kill other Beexers
7) I repeat, pirate jokes should only be made on designated pirate days. Come on people, this is a simple rule!
8) All jokes made by mods are automatically to be entered into POTW’s
9) Showering should be confined to the showering area, not the BBQ area
10) Don’t park like a cunt
11) Talk of the weather should be kept to threads about the weather unless you have Laura Tobin to talk about it… She’s lovely.
12) Satnavs will be mandatory once you have a fully paid up membership.
13) You must not prepare so much meat that you can’t see the base of the pan they’re presented in.
14) Politics jokes should be humorous, and not laboured.
15) Designated wanking areas are clearly marked and all signs should be adhered to. If in doubt, ask a fellow wanker.
16) You will not talk of reincarnating extinct species
17) All dancing should only be performed whilst wearing the special dancing hat. To obtain said hat, please refer to the user manual you were given on day one.
18) You will not compare apples and oranges.
19) Sleeping on trampolines is strictly forbidden.
20) Sting and Police songs are forbidden from being talked about and played.
21) Harming animals is not permitted.. no matter how small and dumb.
22) For your own safety, all members should keep away from Malia between the hours of 9am and 5pm.
23) Real names are boring. Everyone needs to change their name to their forum name by October 1st.
24) My browsing habits are none of your business.
25) No fat chix.
26) Robots are not a solution to anything as they don’t earn enough to pay the £2 a month membership fee.
27) Obey all the rules.

I’m sure that all members will agree that the rules listed are easy to adhere to and will result in a happier environment for the normal discussions to take place.

Alongside all the good news, there is some bad and unfortunately I have noticed several acts of gross misconduct which can no longer be tolerated. The following perpetrators will be escorted from the premises immediately and will have their forum membership revocked. These members are Grim…, Malia, Kern, Curiosity, Zaphod79, Davpaz, Cras, Goddess Jasmine and Ramsea. I’m sure the rest of us will wish them well with their future endeavours.

Yours,

TheVision
Mod.

P.S. There's also going to be a rule about the time Mods can post Beex Weex but you'll have to wait until the clock in my car is fixed for that.


By reading this post you are agreeing to observe all the rules and have already had your direct debits set up.


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 13:26 
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UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55719
Location: California
TheVision wrote:
These will be scheduled in the next 6 weeks by myself and your line manager.

Your line manager and me.

Other than that, not a bad effort.

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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 13:29 
SupaMod
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"Praisebot"

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Thanks.. Now, where did I put that banhammer?


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:04 
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ugvm'er at heart...

Joined: 4th Mar, 2010
Posts: 22387
Broken link fail, terms and conditions are therefore invalid. Sorry.


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:08 
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Trooper wrote:
Broken link fail, terms and conditions are therefore invalid. Sorry.


Is there? To be honest, I can't be bothered to click on them all so hats off to you for finding it.


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:11 
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Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49241
10 and 11 are the same link.

Good work, Vision!

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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:14 
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Thanks Cras but I'm fucked if I can be bothered to look through the 30 odd POTW noms to find that one link.. I think it was something Grim... said but in any case, I've changed the link to something much more appealing.


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:15 
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Commander-in-Cheese

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Posts: 49241
Good work :)

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 14:21 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 48881
Location: Cheshire
Well done!

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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 15:42 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

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Posts: 69704
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TheVision wrote:
Thanks Cras but I'm fucked if I can be bothered to look through the 30 odd POTW noms to find that one link.. I think it was something Grim... said but in any case, I've changed the link to something much more appealing.

MOTHER FUCKER.

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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 15:46 
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Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27354
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TheVision wrote:
Thanks Cras but I'm fucked if I can be bothered to look through the 30 odd POTW noms to find that one link.. I think it was something Grim... said but in any case, I've changed the link to something much more appealing.


This would never have...

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 Post subject: Re: Beex Weex 26/07/2013
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 19:59 
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Chinny chin chin

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 15695
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You've all done very well.


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