Be Excellent To Each Other

Have you followed this:

http://www.microsoft.com/windows/window ... media.aspx

Yup - problem is that the Eggbox isn't showing up on the list of devices with which I can share anything.

Might be the firewall thing then, you might even need to do something on the router depending which one you have.

I just twigged to that and switched Zone Alarm off. Works now!

Thanks Mark and Dimrill - the patience for the non-nerd technophobe is much appreciated.

Is it Dimrill?

Well, I would have hoped that Shin would have taken a bit longer than two weeks to get over me and find another beau

Is it Dimrill?

Sorry, alcohol here

I'm sure she's not THAT over you just yet.. probably just a rebound I reckon.

Don't worry though.. it feels strange saying it here but I'm sure you're better off without her and all that.

That thought did cross my mind too.

I've defriended her on Facebook now anyway, which to be fair I probably should have done from the start, at least then I wouldn't have known about it.

It's gonna be really quite awkward when she finally comes to pick up the rest of her stuff now.

Horrible when that happens.

If it's any consolation chap, I also now appear to be single. I guess. I dunno. Myself and the missus moved in together a few days ago and at the same time her depression nosedived. I've never seen her like this before. I've tried everything I can to help her and I've absolutely worked my arse off trying to make that place as homely and nice as possible and it seems to make no difference. I actually can't deal with it anymore, she's making me ill with the constant worry she's going to do something stupid to herself and last night things came to a head, so I've had to move out.

I've got to go back on Sunday to pick up my stuff so I guess we'll see what happens then, but the impression I got from her today is that this is now a permanent arrangement.

With the death of my mate's dad last weekend too, this has actually been one utter cunt of a week if I'm totally honest.

Gods, Zio, that's awful. I hope you manage to sort something out.

Anybody who you've gone out with for a decent amount of time who is willing to rub your nose in it a couple of weeks after you split up isn't worth worrying about anyway Gaz. Onwards and upwards. You'll find somebody else, and hopefully start a new relationship which is nice.

- edited to avoid inter-forum wars and stuff.

This is shitty shit. But it can only get better. At least you're not stuck inside with a broken leg, and a whole year to wait before you can re-sit your exams

Trudat. That is a shit situation for you sir.

Not that I'm trying to detract from yours, chap! I just mean, it could be worse! (Although I certainly hope for both of us it doesn't get any bloody worse.) And frankly, now that I can hobble about a bit, I'm kind of enjoying sitting around playing videogames and internet-ing all day without feeling guilty. Might as well make the most of it!

Just when I think I've got things bad... that's terrible that Zio. I hope you can work everything out!

@gazchap and zio hope you both can get things worked out.

Women, eh?

@Gaz: you're tall. Women like tall men, therefore you'll be OK. Plaster, rip. Can I make a suggestion? From what I've understood the place you've shared is now where you are living alone and she's yet to remove her stuff? Go out and buy yourself a couple of decent prints - nice artwork prints with frames that you enjoy. When the day comes for your ex to take her stuff away, wait until the car/van has driven off and then set about with a hammer and hang those prints up somewhere, so instead of looking empty the house/flat just looks more spacious and attractive.

@Zio: It's hard to know what to say to cheer or advise, because the relationship has been close to ended several times before, therefore it's difficult not to hold back on what you really think because I think there's a chance that you'll be together again soon, giving it another go.

It's a bit of an unpleasant realisation, in some ways, but I've been through it a couple of times in the past myself with exes - if someone is wiling to treat you that badly, they weren't worthy of your affection in the first place.

I endorse Mimi's idea. You can of course make sure the prints are big fuck-off Aliens ones.

Zio - Gah, really sorry chap.



DAMN YOU I WANTED DRAMA HERE AGAIN.

Aye, cheers all. Fortunately for me, most of the prints that are hanging up on my walls are mine anyway, a selection of H.R. Giger and Escher artworks

Sorry to hear about your troubles Zio Makes my problems seem miniscule by comparison! Hope you get it all sorted out, has she ever lived in her own place before, or lived with a partner? Perhaps it'll just take her some time to adjust to it? Could be that with moving in together with her partner, quitting the fags AND getting a big fuck-off pussycat is just too much change at one time.

I have a solution.

Zio, come to the Beex Cottage Weekend Away and hook up with Gazchap.

But does Gazchap want babies?

He won't have a choice.

Bad joke on other thread reminds me - every time I see our head of HR, who is a little person/dwarf/midget/insert correct term here, I have to mentally restrain myself from making axe-related comments. I am a very, very bad person.

In fairness, he's head of HR, so intrinsically evil.

I've actually just got off the phone to her. She's told me that she wants me to come home, but to not talk about her smoking anymore. She has decided that she can't quit and nor does she want to, so again we're back to me having to lump it. More worrying for me is that she's actually decided to start smoking more than she was previously - apparently she's so down with everything at the moment she needs more nicotine in her system than ever before. I suggested that we just try and steadily decrease it instead and get her off them gently, but that's a no no as far as she's concerned - no quitting or any attempt to try quitting allowed at present.

At the very least she's told me to go back there tonight so we can talk about stuff. She also told me that she wished she'd never started smoking in the first place, which was an odd relief to hear since I definitely wish she'd never started.

I wish I didn't get so upset about her smoking. She only started it earlier this year and we're not talking about a 20/30-a-day habit, so I'm certain she's not doing herself any long-term damage, but I actually find it very tough to deal with. It's hard going being with someone whose clinically depressed at the best of times, especially when I've got my own shit to deal with with my aforementioned friend, starting a new job soon and trying to be the best father I can to my daughter and all that, but there's something about this latest thing of hers that's pushed me to the limit of what I can deal with I guess. And I guess that's why I keep posting shit on here to get some kind of release from it myself.

I'm really struggling with this death too. Much more than I thought I would - I mean, he wasn't my dad. Keep getting really upset by it though. At the time of the fire, the police arrested a woman on suspicion of arson, though they released her on bail. There's been no news of a funeral either yet, so I'm wondering if they haven't released the body yet. Either way, it's really, really awful.

So yeah, sorry folks.

You're a glutton for punishment, Zio. Is she really worth all this shit?

Dude, she's got his house hostage now.

Sorry to hear about both your situations, GazChap and Zio.

In brighter news, just got back from having our second baby scan and it looks like we're having a boy this time round. It'll be confirmed at the next scan but we all saw balls and a winky!

I did type a very long post but I realised it could be summed up thus: dunno.

I love her. She loves me. When we're not together, we miss each other terribly and end up getting back together fairly quickly. Then after a while of being together, we start to drive each other mental. And so the cycle continues.

I think you've just described marriage, mate.

This is called an unhappy relationship. It's, strangely, much much easier to stay together despite the fact that you're both miserable together. It's hard to mutually end a long term relationship without some sort of massive trigger event. You're faced with life alone after a long period of being with somebody. But often, if you really can't work it out and you're unhappy, it's for the best. You just have to decide if it really isn't going to work out, then you have to lift your chin up and end it, or keep trying. But don't stay in it because it's the easy option.

Otherwise known as the Labour leadership contest.

Yeah - it's weird, but inaction in a relationship is the easiest route even when you're really unhappy. I spent two years at university with a proper mentalist, even staying together and flying out to the states to visit her after she left the UK, despite the fact that at the root of it, despite "loving" her, I fucking hated that harridan. I just didn't want to go through the trauma of breaking up - not least as she'd have had her mates in Mossad have me killed. I'm still looking over my shoulder now.

It's a wonder they let you in there.

Zio, honestly, I can't put it in quite such black and white terms as Malabar, but really, I think the problem here is mostly yours.

I think you have to come to terms with the fact that you need to decide whether you can just put up with er smoking, and whatever unpleasantnes that might ensue from that.

I didn't say when she gave up because of your protestations, but it was always going to end in tears. She can't and shouldn't quit just because it annoys you. She needs to want to quit to do it successfully. At best it was going to end up with her secretly and guiltily smoking, hoping you wouldn't find out. She doesn't want to quit, therefore you have to decide whether you can live, happily, with that part of her character and behaviour.

Don't rush back. Take time to think. let her know you still love her, if you do, but really Zio, think it through and don't rush back just in relief. Part move-in if you have somewhere else to stay. Stay with her some days, if things go well stay there some nights - build up to it and just see how things go.

I'd be slightly worried about this:


Because it sounds like the 'relief' at this revelation might lead to you thinking that her regrets might mean this behaviour will change, but unless she, herself really wants it to, you just have to step back and let her do what she wants to do. It might now be at the point where you just have to shut up about it completely, put up with the smell and the taste and grin & bare it. Can you do that? From the way you make it sound, I'm not sure.

Jeez, Zio, you're such a nice sounding chap, but your posts are like a continuing call to *headdesk*, not because anyone is at all fed up wish your need to talk about how things affect you, because obviously you need this outlet and folks here will always support you, but because you seem to put yourself through such repeated and sustained angst.

Take things slowly. it was not long ago that things were all over, she'd gone on holiday without you, you'd probably never see her again and were contemplating going on holiday with your ex, (and yes, I know your child, but a hurt lover will see only your ex in this situation) so it was quite surprising that the two of you were then making a home together a few weeks later.

Death affects people in wild and unpredictable ways. Especially such a sudden and shocking death, but these problems with your lady friend exist way beyond and before that. Clearly, you must care to put yourself through this, but sit back and take a little time for yourself. you need some time for you at the moment, so don't run back the moment someone says 'you can return under these conditions which I state'. Approach it slowly, and with caution, not jumping back in both feet first, because it is clear from what you have said that you still have a massive problem with her smoking and she does not want to quit, and is not prepared to compromise, so all the compromising is going to have to be done by you. Decide whether you can deal with that, first.

Round these parts, they're not allowed to tell you the sex of your baby during the scans. At the 20-week scan however, the scan-o-person doing the scan pointed the scan-o-thing at Zioette's privates and told us we were looking for either a turtle (big round shell with a head poking out) for a boy or a burger (two buns together) for a girl. We both saw a burger, so said to the scan-o-person "it's a girl, isn't it?". She just smiled.

And I think she worked out pretty well.

I think that is part of your problem. You don't take enough time to let your feelings settle and to think things through. Passion and love are different things.

I think I have to at everything Mimi's said. I think she should be the Offishul Beex Agony Aunt from now on.

Does she know anything about my missing Amazon parcels?!

POTW, and not a single swear word, personal outrage or picture of BurtTank.

Strange times.

Best wishes to you, Zio and Gaz.

Congratulations mate, sounds like you'll only be outnumbered 3:2 now

I asked. She said: "Dadda, baba ba bah. Gone!" and then she shrugged. Take from that what you will.

Meems... you do makes much sense.

I knew it!

I love these.

IDGI

Paedo.

It was after the discussion about whether to name photos. It became funny to use 'picture names' in conversation.

Er, um. I could possibly have phrased that better.