So I screwed up last night as I was playing this reasonably late and got to that dream monster at the end of Chapter 17. He was being a tanky shithead and I thought I'll just get to the end of this chapter and I'll save it and go to bed. It must be the end because this chapter has been going on for AGES. Mostly due to swapping back and forth between two parties and having to constantly run back and forth making telephone calls in the blandest way possible.
But no, it went all JEPG on me and this isn't the final boss - this guy you've never heard of, right up until now, is actually the final boss! Yawn. There's so may different villains in this game and most of them have very little to do beyond a cutscene where they show up for something inconsequential (well, to this story at least). Some sexy woman has two cutscenes, one of them is just her doing some experiment where she's using a bloke as a footstool.
And the tonal shifts are all over the place sometimes. I must be near the end of the game and all the stakes are on the table, yet there's a daft bit where some of our heroes get cornered by the baddies and there's about to be a MEGA EPIC BATTLE and it goes:
Baddie: "Who do you think you are?"
Barret: "I'm AVALANCHE!"
Aerith: "I run a flower shop!"
Dog "AND I'M A DOG *WOOF*"
My eyes rolled around so hard in my head I could hear them myself.
And people keep escaping too because ... reasons, I guess. People just run away across very long rooms while the heroes just stare and say "He's getting away" without moving a fucking muscle. ONE OF THEM HAS A GUN FOR AN ARM. Shoot that fucker.
What else? Oh yeah... spoilers for this:
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
President Shinra gets stabbed by Sephiroth and dies to a big cloudly sword wound. Barret gets one moments later but he comes back to life because, well, fuck knows to be sure but his cloudly wound heals itself. Then President Shinra isn't on the floor anymore? I tried looking for him to make sure he was dead but I couldn't see him. Mind you, it was getting late but still I couldn't see his body on the floor at all. It's a bit shit. Oh and before that the Prez holds Barret up with a 1911 and Barret gets all scared. Yeah, like this big guy hasn't been absorbing bullets all fucking game. Some from a HELICOPTER FOR GODS SAKE.
And after all that, there was ANOTHER boss fight with a robot just to pad out this bloody huge chapter. And at no time would the bloody game let me save so I could go to bed.
THEN YOU'RE ON A BIKE AGAIN. JUST LET ME SAVE IT. In the end, enough was enough as another tanky robot boss fight turned up on the bikes and I could barely keep my eyes on. Not least because (a) good god, not another sodding bike ride, and (b) it was late. I just hope it autosaved around there somewhere because I can't be arsed to have Tilda fight another anaemic guy on a roof.