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Been watching a Star Trek: TNG series one boxset a friend got me for my birthday. Christ, there's some appalling duffers on it. I forgot just how massively poor the first season was. Still, infuriatingly there's moments of pure gold, unintentional comedy or otherwise. Here's some tips I've garnered from Gene Roddenberry's final year before popping his clogs (which directly led to better Trek, ironically):
13 Stupid things about STNG: (Spoilers!)
1: Mullets exist in the 24th century.
2: Young cadets, when warned they are going to have a psych test pushing them to the limits of endurance, still express massive surprise and gullibility when their scheduled psych exam is interupted by an exciting disaster on the base that only THEY can solve. Gosh... good job I got out of that exam that was supposed to test my reactions and bravery by this sudden surprise calamity that is testing my reactions and hey wait a minute.
3: Picard is hilarious around children. He scowls and makes them cry, shouting at them in a Yorkshire accent.
4: Worf the Mighty Klingon does not express disgust, for some unfathomable reason, at his ridiculous regulation hair, which appears to be modelled on Dot Cotton's.
5: In any given episode every visiting starfleet officer tasked to oversee some operation or other whether it be installing experimental technology or investigating people for treason, is a complete weasily a-hole, for no reason whatsover.
6: One of the main characters does the business with Data. A robot. In the second episode. Even Shatner would have second thoughts.
7: It appears that the Federations main sales pitch for joining the Federation is to land a team on a planet and then bang on about how backward everything is, but how they're not judging you, but that everything is more awesome in the Federation. Way to win those guys over, dudes!
8: And then when the kid from Stand by Me who's with them accidentaly steps on the flowerbed incurring an automatic death sentence from superficially advanced planet-folk, the Prime Directive law of non-interference actually stops the away team from interfering. This is an actual plot. A flowerbed. Trample. Sentence of Death.
9: A feature of the Holodeck is that anything contained within it is disintergrated along with the program when it loses power. And people play in this thing? What if someone trips over a plug?!
10: Empathic Counsellor Troi is the Chocolatte Teapot of the future. "I feel pain," she says, looking at someone who's clearly distressed. "He may be hiding something," she says about a Ferengi Captain, notorious for being unscrupulous scheming villainous car-dealers of the 24th century. Said Ferengi is also rubbing his hands and chuckling in a low fashion. "He's frozen," she explains, in front of someone who is, literally, frozen. As in covered in ice.
11: Humanity is always cross at aliens judging them by their warlike past, despite passing the time by flying to other planets to bang on about Mozart.
12: Unlucky crew member Tasha Yar, the ultimate multi-episode red shirt, actually does her own post-death eulogy through a hologram she recorded before her death - which was completely unexpected on an initially seemingly harmless away mission. Clearly part of the Red-Shirt training from the Kirk Days is to have a holo-wake ready.
13: Everybody buys their off-duty clothes from the same store. Pastels are in. Riker has the worst shirt in the universe. But at least he has a trombone, marking him the only crew member with a secondary trait.
Roll on the infinitely better season 2!
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"Peter you've lost the NEWS!"
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