Be Excellent To Each Other

I almost opened a shower gel shop called Keyser Soapy until I realised no one will buy shower gel based on an 18 year old movie reference.

I almost started a Chippendale rival act called Guys'R Saucy until I realised no one wanted to see me semi-naked.

To help me get through university I worked as a fluffer on a geriatric skin flick called 'Jurassic Pork'.

It's like Sliding Doors, only a lot less attractive.


Not backtracking at all. I invented it. Absolute trufax.

I almost started an oil company called Geyser Soze, until I realised that I was running the joke into the ground.

I almost started a company that allowed you to unlock doors with a Japanese alcoholic beverage called Keys-are-sake, until I realised that was just impossible.

When people come to the door to talk to me about God, I always give them a few minutes as it costs me nothing and gets them one step closer to Heaven.

I nearly started a company to send my friend kev to the upper reaches of the atmosphere, called kev in spacey, until I realised I was missing the point.

I was going to start a company setting fire to long serving Aston Villa strikers, called Gabriel Burn, but then realised that we were getting far too tenuous.

I was going to start a house-sitting service for gay men called Give Me The Fucking Keys You Fucking Cocksucker, until I realised that getting listed in the Yellow Pages would be tougher than I first thought.

I invented gravity.

I'm defying gravity.

A likely story.

I am seriously considering shaving my legs.

that's well known. See bikes thread.

I am now near to mentally blocking out all posts made by Kissyfur and MaliA since I am no longer able to tell when they are being serious.

As a policy, it's a good one.

I dropped the screw in the tuna.

˙ʎʇıʌɐɹb pǝʇɹǝʌuı ı

G'day...

I live in Chorlton-cum-Hardy and it's almost impossible to buy anything on the net and have it delivered to my address unless I just enter it as 'Chorlton.'

Best reference on Beex ever.