Be Excellent To Each Other

It'll fit in the carry cage. Put tin of tuna in the carry cage, wait, close cage.

I've rigged it up with a stick and a piece of string.

I have to wait until "after 1PM" anyway, so it's probably best not to catch it just yet...

Fuck that shit.

You should have started trying hours ago.

I realize the cat is going to resist but I think transporting it in the oven is overkill.

Couldn't you dress up like a mouse and get it to chase you to the vets?

It is a solution though.

Find something that it incredibly valuable to you, yet small and very delicate.
Put is on a shelf in the vets and wait.

The fin- na fuck it.

Genuine LOL! Even MrsTheVision found it funny.

Can you lock the door to your oven? Mine doesn't. It might be something to do with only cooking things which are already dead and unable to attempt an escape. I have no doubt that this cat would be hurling itself against the door trying to do just that in the unlikely event that WTB manages to get it in there.

Now, my parents' old oven didn't lock normally, but there was a handle you could pull which WOULD lock the door and simultaneously cause a large metal shield to slide down to cover the window. This was the self-cleaning mode, and given it became hot enough in the process to melt the icing inside Oreos stored in the cupboard above the extractor hood, the cat might not appreciate this too much and may well emerge glowing red and able to burn through any substance it touches.

"But Perkies, why is he going to have it still plugged in, especially all the way to the vets?"

Have you ever tried resetting the clock on an oven? Even with the instructions pushing the HAND button and then the POT button and then some weird combination of other keys to set the hour and date (as opposed to setting the oven to come on automatically in four hour's time) is something you want to get right once and then never worry about again. Hell, my bike's clock has always been set to BST because I can't be dealing with the shit of changing it to normal GMT come winter.

Same as here, but with a cat.



Hope this helps.

Big goose stepping jackboots

Deliberately and obviously taking something way too far for the sake of several jokes to try and make people smile is now big stompy boots? Jesus fuck.

I'm not sure.

That's why I'm always deadly serious.

It made me smile... But I didn't like to say anything as I've done nothing but promote serious discussion in this thread.

We're waiting on more developments in the real situation so I am amusing myself with the hypothetical one.

No update from WTB?

Has anyone checked outside their window for a man, covered in cat scratches and with a shitty anus, begging for help? I can dig out the number for the WTB protection league if any of you find him.

I reckon he's running around with Flea Bag stuck to his heid.


Shut it, Kitler.

OP will surely deliver! Unfortunately, Flea Bag has been missing all afternoon, so I couldn't catch it.

This thread is surprisingly hilarious!

I can drive my new car down to yours on Monday if you need a pussy magnet.

Boom!

It's back now. I think it knew the vet opening times or something. Nice next door neighbour has bought a flea collar for it, but we couldn't manage to get it on. My neck is too fat.

Are you going to let it into your house first? Maybe tempt it in through the back door (if you'll pardon the pun)

That way it will be easier to catch, get some good gloves as if its been mistreated it might get its claws out if you try and pick it up

I can't! It's flea-riddled and we have a rabbit.

Well maybe get one of these?

http://www.trapman.co.uk/cat-trap.htm

You can't predict how this cat will react so best to trap it in something like this.

I mean even if it turns out to be a nice cat and you gain its trust its still pretty dirty and needs some treatment.

I have a cage that'll do the trick. It's a little small, but the plan is to catch it and get it to the vets immediately, which is a two minute car journey.

Well the best of luck, my kitten is currently chasing a ping pong ball round the house.

She will sit sulking or crying at the bottom of the stairs until I play a game were I chuck the ball so that it falls down the stairs.

7 balls and counting lost around the house

Glad you're enjoying the new kitten!

Put some food in the basket, and wait.

...for Craster.

Make an elaborate contraption involving string, a candle that burns slowly through the string, a guitar suspended above some green paint and a bowling ball, all of which is triggered by cat proximity sensors (pencils mounted on swivels) and ultimately catches said moggy.

This will all be necessary because I bet you have loads of fun convincing a cat to go into a thing it knows has only one entrance/exit. However I wish you the best of luck, Lovely Cat Caring Person Of The Week.

On a different note, asfish, get your kitty a 2" diameter plastic spider. Mine have one and they love it and play fetch with it which is cute but somehow worrying.

Are you sick of diseased cats yet, WTB?

Yeah, they're so boring. Looking to trade it in.

Oh well. It seemed like the best cat ever at first. I hear the shitty arse is one-use only, so at least if you do get another cat later on you can shit its arse up.

Yeah I've maxed out the shitty arse, so I'd have to get a cat from another region if I want to max it again.

Seriously though, it's missing again. It seems to bugger off for the 9-5 sort of hours...

Back to it's home?

Malc

I doubt it, based on its condition. I mean, I certainly hope so, but I'd be very surprised to find out it had a home in the state it's in.

Interesting!

Not seen this?
http://www.mr-lee-catcam.de/pe_catcam1.htm

Ha! Brilliant! Secret cat den?

It might do, sadly there are people that would keep a cat in that condition as a pet.

Cripes! I hope not! Got to catch it ASAP.

I know that was probably the joke, and I'm , but he's Starchild, not Catdude.