Be Excellent To Each Other

I've just had a most bizarre conversation with a chap who claimed the following:

Noah's Ark was plated with copper inside
Maddie McCann may have internally combusted (or was taken by aliens)
Anti-gravitional devices may have been used, similar to the Bermuda Triangle, apparently
Over 32,000 years some sort of group have been making people vanish
Something to do with circles and stones

He is heavily into word totals and numerology.

Has anyone else met someone who is really into conspiracy theories and bizarre stuff?

It was both fascinating and baffling.

Banks rule the world
Magnets on wheels are the solution to infinite energy
On top of a grenade is the safest place
Shirts have mobile phone pockets

Odd, but not properly odd. Of course the RN used to copper-plate the bottom of its ships, to prevent fouling. Now we use speshul paint. Anyway, that may be what he's getting confused by.

The odder thing is believing in the whole Noah's Ark thing, isn't it?




It's as likely as anything else. It may well be that her SWIVEL EYED WITCH of a mother mixed up the sleeping drug doses they gave the kids, and made something that caused her to explode. Everything since has been a huge cover up.



The Bermuda Triangle is an anti gravity device? That IS weird.



And the guys in Without a Trace wouldn't have a job otherwise. Or does he mean actually go invisible, rather than just "can't be found"?
Something to do with circles and stones



Is he a student who writes a lot of essays?



No, I have to say. The closest I've got is my aged mother, who insists in believing everything she reads in the Mail, on the grounds that "they wouldn't be allowed to print it if it wasn't true".

That said, I watched far too much X Files as a teenager and sort of wondered if some of it weren't true.

POTW!

I know of someone who believes in cospiracy theroees that everything is against muslims.

I think he's full of shit

Really? You mean reducing the earth's population to two of each species and getting them on a boat isn't entirely plausible? It's so self-evident, especially when concepts like genetic diversity and The Origin of Species is a 'load of evil clap-trap peddled by a old pigeon-fucker'*.




* Quote may not be verbatim.

How come they find sea shells up mountains, then, eh?

Because mountaineers buy them from the woman who sells seashells by the sea shore.

Early flying bivalves.

'God put those there to test our faith'

Ambitious Crabs

They got there because of the flood, didn't they, as the tops of the mountains would be under the water.

I find sea shells on our roof sometimes. The seagulls drop them there, I've seen it happen.

That's different, isn't it? As seagulls can pick them from the beach, then drop them. When the moutnains were underwater, the seachells were, too, then the waters receeded and left the seashells there.

I encountered a stealth mentalist years back, when I was in libraries. He was one of those who started off normal and fine, but rapidly became more and more insane (although not in a physical threat sense, nor did he work himself up to a frenzy - he just let slip more and more of his deep and special lunacy the more you listened to him).

I still can't decide whether my favourite part was where he claimed that my ancestors were 'people who knew things' and had a special gift for metalworking and knowing things (and not, for instance, piss-poor inbred dirt farmers from County Mayo), when he started listing all the languages he knew and after a few genuine East African dialects began clearly saying random syllables, or where he earnestly told me that he was born underwater in the middle of the Atlantic, and had to swim up to Africa.

I kind of liked him.

I've known of a UKIP activist who believed that Britain actually lost World War II, or WWII came to a close with a 1-1 draw between the Allies and the Axis (something like that), and the EU was formed immediately afterwards, with the EU rewriting and covering up actual history under the claws of a vast Germanic conspiracy.

This chap was elderly and I got the impression that his life's work was based on word totals, concentric circles, stones, missing persons and anti-grav devices. He had a notebook with him, doubtless full with codes and theories.

I didn't mind him talking to me, he seemed harmless enough.

And of course due to tectonic action, the mountains weren't always mountains.

Of course it is! What d'you think holds the moon up?

My dad put our apartment keys in his top pocket while we went to fly a kite when we were in france, guess how that went....

Did he discover electricity?

Well we did discover that there were no 24 hour locksmiths in 1980s france, also that hotel skeleton keys break in normal door locks.

POTW

It was Franklin's mouse that discovered it, sillies.

Sounds like R4's Any Answers.

My shop sells ay shells of the she sores and empty females.

Most of my conversations with mentalists have been about Grenades and Dynamos.