Be Excellent To Each Other

I do for sausage and egg McMuffins.

Fuck,

Don't tell me, its because of the heroin in them, isn't it?

Ambrosia, that is. Love them.

me too, the only thing I eat there.

DAMN YOU MCDONALDS UK FOR NOT SELLING MCGRIDDLES.

Seriously, McGriddles are so good they make McMuffins look like crap.

Jesus, I'm possibly more shocked that people go to McDonalds out of choice than I am about the hacking scandal.







May not be true.

Shut up, fuckhead. Nothing beats a McMuffin.

We need a "Shut up, fuckhead" t-shirt.

McGriddles are McMuffins (same cheese and egg and sausage), but with the boring muffin part replaced with a tasty tasty pancake injected with a core of maple syrup[1]. Your move, fuckhead.

[1] Well, I-can't-believe-it's-not-maple-syrup, probably. This is McDonald's after all.

That's disgusting.

Ban request.

Wait - I'm a mod! BANNED.

I miss the McRib

Objection: lunch.

I read someone on Twitter who said that they don't trust a place that can make a meal for less than 3 or 4 quid and still make a profit.

McDonalds would be the absolute last place I would chose to eat.

Why? They're absolutely enormous. The economies of scale and being able to cut retailers out of the purchasing chain means they pay ridiculously little for what goes into their meals. Comparing them to any other food retailer is pretty much meaningless.

Yeah, on the grounds that they don't, you know, retail food.




(Someone had to say it.)

The thing is, they've worked so hard to combat the image of their food being the worst kind of shite, that I think they've probably got the most traceable and examinable supply chain of any major food retailer.

It depends on what time you wake up.

Objection: M'lad.

I mistakenly ordered a McGriddle in Singapore, using the awesome McDelivery home delivery service. However, no matter how disgustingly nice it is receiving McDonald's goods through your doorway, it's all for nowt if they taste as horrific as a McGriddle.

Blandly sweet tasting pancake stuff around really salty sausage. Like a slice of mushy white bread where three times too much sugar was added during its baking.

I was nearly sick, though that may also have been the fearsome hangover. Never again. NEVER!

Also, Rebekah Brooks. I'd love to listen to her voicemail messages at the moment. And then record my own, breathing heavily and muttering swears and impotently empty threats.

But it's very unlikely NOTW are alone in this, with the likes of the Mails, the Mirrors and the Expresses in the world. I wouldn't mind breathing heavily into Paul Dacre's voicemail as well. Though he'd probably like it.

I used to eat a lot of McDonalds, but in the last year or so I've become very aware of the grease and oil that oozes out of everything they sell*, especially the breakfast burgers. So, I've pretty much stopped.

* look, I know what you're going to type in reply to that, so just, don't, ok.

Well I never actually thought of it like that but me not eating there is totally unrelated to what that guy on Twitter said.

Personally I can’t say that I’ve ever “enjoyed” a McDonalds meal in the past.

For a year or two I was working places where the only way to quickly get a breakfast was McDonald's or Burger King. Edgelands, or crap towns like Pontypool. Here are my observations:

1: The quality checks on their foods these days seem to be decent - free range eggs, 100% meat patties, etc. That is something, at least.

2: There is no legitimate reason for 'cheese food slices' to be part of a breakfast in a bun. None whatsoever. If it was cheese, it would be odd, but it's that rubbery crap, and it should be illegal.

3: A sausage is shaped like a penis, not a frisbee. That thing in the bun isn't sausage, no matter what they say.

4: An egg has a yolk and a white. It is not pacman with his mouth closed, as these places seem to think.

5: Sauce choice matters. The 30-40% likelihood of getting tomato when you ordered brown is inexcusable.

6: Burger King used to do the best breakfast burger ever, ever, ever. You got a spiral cumberland sausage, bacon you couldn't floss with, egg which approximated, you know, egg... and a hash brown sort of thing which filled the large, solid bun out nicely. Add a cup of cofee and a bag of those little (always too hot) hash brown nuggets, and you had a decent breakfast there for about £4.50. It was their largest, most expensive breakfast offering. A couple of years ago I had to stop at a BK on the M4, I went for their (then current) largest choice. It cost me about 7 quid and it wasn't three minutes later I'd made my way back from the car and bowled it overarm onto the counter, spraying the contents all over. I've never been more offended by food in my life. Wrong sauce, cheese food slice where I'd said I didn't want one, a white circle instead of an egg, a grey circle instead of any sausage and about a fifth of a rasher of streaky bacon. Never, ever again.

7: Regarding breakfast serving times, I refer you all to Falling Down, staring Michael Douglas.

8: When pushed for time, a Maccy D's is still preferable in a services to the Moto cafe stuff, which is horrifically overpriced. I expect a FULL English for £7.50, not 1 sausage, 1 egg, 2 bacon and a slice of toast. And iff I don't like beans, I should get something else instead, as opposed to just no beans.

9: The division of a cooked breakfast into 'items' for pricing purposes is degrading to the food, the customer and the vendor alike.

10: Breakfast, convenience food or otherwise, is a serious business.

I have a penchant for McChicken sarnies.

Ooooh no, Zinger Tower Burger, if it must be chicken. And KFC don't do breakfast, so this'll probably get split out into a dedicated chicken burger thread now.

If your penis looks like this there's something seriously wrong

How did I know someone was going to pay the Scottish card regarding sausage shape? If BK and McD want to sell square sausage in their brekkie baps they should label it as such.

McDonald's deliver?

I'd rather they used decent Cumberland's myself, the nearest place I've found that does right good ones is the Tebay/Westmorland services farm shop, but I can get good slice & normal sausages almost anywhere up here

The mental image of this is just priceless.

Amen to that.

There's room in my heart for rubber plastic cheese. On burgers is one of them, and American syle fast food breakfast is another.

As Wullie has demonstrated, that's a pretty narrow definition of "sausage". They're only narrow cylinders because Brits associate them with the traditional intestine-derived skin. There's plenty of Continental sausages that don't fit that definition though.

I'd forgotten about these. I used to eat them regularly when I was commuting via train into Cardiff central, and as you say, it was genuinely decent. Then I had three or four in a row featuring burnt sausages and not long after they discontinued the range. Boo, etc.

Amen to that too.

The BK breakfast thing was utter shite, and should not be mentioned in the same thread as the glorious sausage and egg mcmuffin.

Objection! Are we talking about the same epoch? They change it round really often. It was rubbish last time I went, for example.

Cumberland ring, scrambled egg, ketchup.

Just because they can tell you exactly when precisely which animal shat doesn't stop it being shit.

I'm reasonably sure whatever shape sausage you find, there'll be some freak somewhere with the same-shaped penis.

In Asia they do. As do KFC. Though KFC refuse to deliver chips, apparently because they go soggy in transit. So you're stuck with mashed potato.

Which, incidentally, you can get with gravy from vending machines like a scatological Mr Whippy. Best thing ever when drunk*.

*apart from cigarettes and more booze.

McMuffins don't contain cheese, do they? I had one the other day (sausage and egg, obv) and it was decent enough in a pinch, but I do not recall seeing cheese.

I mainly bought it for the orange juice and hash brown, to be honest. I adore hash browns. One year on New Year's Day we staggered to a pub and spent several hours there drinking and playing cards and board games. We didn't fancy anything on the menu other than the hash browns from the breakfast part, so we persuaded the barman to get them to make us two massive bowls just full of hash browns.

It was glorious.

I have never had a McDonalds' breakfast.If I go into McDs it is for one thing only, burger.

Would you like fries with that?

No. Burger.
Also, what are the Belgian McDs breakfasts like?

What's the point in me living in places like Hull if I can't enjoy a very narrowly defined culinary selection, though?

In my experience it's a tough job getting them to not put 'cheese' in. Sometimes they look at you weird for not wanting it.

They do contain cheese. And you are weird for not wanting it.

The cheese is where the taste comes from, IMHO

Nah. The grease is where the taste comes from.

The cheese is to keep the grease stuck to your mouth longer.

Your McMuffin had orange juice in it?