Be Excellent To Each Other

How do you make the *best* cheese on toast? Do you toast both sides of the bread? Brown or white bread?

So, I was googling Rarebit because I wondered if I should risk my tiny remaining amount of cheese by seeing if you could cook cheese on toast in a halogen oven. I remembered making ‘buck rarebit’ when I was younger, and wondered if I made it correctly as I’d heard it was made with egg so I improvised. I soaked bread in beaten eggs and made French toast, and once that was cooked I topped it with cheese and grilled it. This was not right. It turns out Buck Rarebit is cheese on toast with an egg on top. I prefer the sound of my version. Ange and I once improved on this by adding thin chopped chillies and spring onion to the egg, soaking crumpets in this and then cooking those before topping with cheese and grilling. They were amazing.

Anyway, so I’m finding out that Buck Rarebit was wrong I also found out that Welsh Rarebit has a companion Scotch Rarebit and an English Rarebit that just had to go and be a bit ‘extra’.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welsh_rarebit

So, do you use a shovel?

I'm a simple man. I grill one side of the bread to a golden brown, flip it over and toast for about 30 seconds on the top side. Then I add grated cheese in abundance and let it toast until bubbling.

Cut into triangles and serve with a splash of Worcestershire Sauce.

Why do you grate rather than slice the cheese?

I too am a simple man. This is exactly the same as I do it except sometimes I use sliced cheese rather than grated.

It's quicker. And it melts pleasingly as I watch with my nose pressed against the grill

The hologram oven made decent cheese on toast

And.... now I'm hungry(er)

Toast bread in toaster. Melt cheese in microwave. Combine. Blowtorch. Eat.

I toast the bread lightly in the toaster, then under the grill with Ketchup and cheese on.

This is for my son, if for me would use Brown Sauce.

Welsh rarebit is lovely, but is a major faff to make.

Ok, don’t post that with no explanation. You melt the cheese in a microwave? What kind of cheese do you use and what kind of cheese do you use? And what consistency is the melted cheese? Do you pour it? Is it still solid(ish)?

Not as much faff as English Rarebit, it would seem.

Look at this disgraceful thing:

So it's cheese?

The best method is to put the quantity of cheese you think it's ideal, and then double it.

Yep!

Spreadable. Hmm. Did you buy it? I can’t remember.

I do remember pointing out, however, that you had a toasted cheese sandwich sent to you by post, so are hardly the one to mock.

The canteen where Russell works puts about 1lb of cheese on each slice. It’s grated, and no matter how much heat is applied and for no matter how long it’s still just cold grated cheese in the bottom of the pile because the top inch of melted cheese insulates the eight inches of cheese below it.

That canteen taught me that there is, almost unbelievably, such a thing as too much cheese.

We have a ‘quadruple it’ rule for garlic in this house. Anything above 3 cloves recommended means ‘whole bulb’.

Mature or extra mature cheddar with Cholula (chipotle preferably) chili sauce.

Also crumpets instead of bread ftw.

Excellent work as always, Giphy.

Even better.

Feexed

Step 1 - toast the toast.
Step 2 - put cheese on the toast
Step 3 - put in microwave for 45 seconds.

Yes, I said microwave.

Fucking disgrace

Toast the bread. Grate cheese while toast is toasting. Put grated cheese on toast. Bung under grill on full power for about 30 seconds. Dip in mayo. Bob's your mother's brother, etc.

Microwave?

Mayo?

Giphy "i can't even":
https://media3.giphy.com/media/HaJ0BNCCMlhpm/giphy-loop.mp4

edit: No seriously Giphy, are you high?

Who the fuck has time for a grill.

Cheese on toast isn't a speed food. It's an after-the-kids-have-gone-to-bed luxury. Take your time, you philistine!

The end result is basically identical - melty cheese on toast.

If you enjoy all the moisture being sucked out of your body, by all means toast the bread first.
Alternatively, cheese on bread, toast under grill until cheese melted and some of the bread is burned.

Get some cheese, get some cooked bread dough, put cheese upon the bread dough.
Get a low sulphur content volcano, put said cheese covered cooked bread dough upon the volcano for a moment until cooked twice as much as before. Then eat.

If I put my grill on before I do anything else, it's hot by the time the toast has popped and I've covered it with cheese.

I toast one side of the bread in the grill, then turn over, apply a base coat of soft cheese then season, add grated cheese and stick back in grill. The soft cheese prevents the outer edges of the toast from burning.

Gosh. And just when it looked like beex was going to make it to ten years, too.

base coat of soft cheese?!

This might be controversial so look away if you can't handle truth bombs:

Grilled cheese > cheese on toast.

What is the cheese sat on while it's being grilled?

I'm a simpler man. I skip the 30-second bit, slice the cheese rather than grating and don't cut it up at the end.

Oh, and ketchup or barbecue sauce.

Do you mean that american cheese sandwich that they fry in a pan?

Too much bread

I'm assuming you mean a toasted cheese sandwich, good sir.

Those bloody Yankee-doodle-taffies.

Grilled cheese isn't actually grilled.

Maybe, but I think most people would think "toasted under a grill" when you say that. Whereas I specifically mean "fried in a pan."

Yes. No. Bread can be sliced to different thicknesses, and you just use proportionally more cheese.

More cheese is the solution to many problems

Breville toastie maker > Gaywood.

London / Festival types - If you've never had the pleasure of visiting The Cheese Truck they do unfeasibly good grilled cheese. And fondue fries.

Ah, that must be why you said 'grilled'

Fake snax