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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 13:37 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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Curiosity wrote:
I don't know which lunatic genius first decided to put Parma ham with melon, but bloody well done to them!

Unnecessary dilution of pig. There is only one acceptable type of melon, and it isn't a fruit.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 14:14 
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I never thought it would happen, but I just had a pork belly I couldn't finish! It was massive!

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 14:30 
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Your pig-fu is weak, old man.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 14:37 
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Craster wrote:
Your pig-fu is weak, old man.


This accursed diet has shrunk my stomach!!!

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 20:51 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Curiosity wrote:
New idea!

PULLED PORK COOK-OFF!

At the cottage, obv.

Need BBQ.

It has a BBQ.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 20:52 
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It has a grill. I need a kettle barbecue.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 20:59 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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If only we had a first world problems thread.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 21:04 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
It has a grill. I need a kettle barbecue.

Real men make do.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 21:30 
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There's no making do that can turn a grill into a barbecue. Well, I guess you could make it a lid for it, assuming someone is going to bring sheet steel and a set of metalworking tools. That seems unlikely however.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 17:09 
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Putting the kettle lid on it would do the trick, wouldn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 17:15 
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Nah. Needs to be properly sealed to keep the heat down.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 18:25 
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Need to maintain 110 deg C for 8-10 hours. Tough without well-fitting lid, top and bottom adjustable vents, and the charcoal suspended on a mesh(so the ash falls through and doesn't smother the fire).


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 18:47 
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Then Craster will have to bring his sous vide.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 18:49 
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Gonna struggle to feed 20+ people with the amount of pig you can fit in there.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 19:36 
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Gorgeous steak n ale pie atThe Swan With Two Nicks today. Apparently they slow cook the steak before pie-ing it. Suggested we should make huge batches of steak, pork and lamb for portion-freezing.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 20:02 
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Craster wrote:
Gonna struggle to feed 20+ people with the amount of pig you can fit in there.

I reckon you could do it on a Weber kettle though, with a Smokenator.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 23:38 
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Made the tomato butter sauce for some beef tonight, but left it on the hob while I knobbed around in the other room, and it split. Hard. Too hard to rescue with water, so it was time for more drastic measures - an egg yolk. So it wasn't quite tomato butter sauce, but on the plus side I just invented tomato hollandaise.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:52 
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Crasteraise.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:00 
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Going to the butcher's at lunchtime to get stuff for meatballs, probably 75/25 beef/pork (veal would be an option but I doubt he has any). Going to get a couple of plain pork sausages and mix them in with a steak, which I'm going to ask him to grind for me; any thoughts on what cut of steak it should be? Chuck is the common suggestion, for the fat content; I'm also considering if rump or even sirloin might not give a better flavour/texture (perhaps with a little extra beef fat added to compensate for the leaner meat).


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:01 
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Craster wrote:
Made the tomato butter sauce for some beef tonight, but left it on the hob while I knobbed around in the other room, and it split. Hard. Too hard to rescue with water, so it was time for more drastic measures - an egg yolk. So it wasn't quite tomato butter sauce, but on the plus side I just invented tomato hollandaise.

Hah! From great belmitude (how did you manage to split the simplest sauce in existence so badly?!) comes great discovery.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:06 
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Is there a reason you're going for sausages rather than just pork? I'd go for rump minced up with a nice fatty chunk of pork shoulder.

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Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:18 
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You should mix chuck and rump 66/33.

Make the last 1 sirloin.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 10:24 
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Craster wrote:
Is there a reason you're going for sausages rather than just pork? I'd go for rump minced up with a nice fatty chunk of pork shoulder.

Uhh, none at all. That was a silly thought.

Bear in mind I'm only looking for less than a kilo of meat in total (feed two of us, plus some leftovers). Even if I double that and make some mix to freeze, I'm still not working in quantities big enough to have multiple steaks.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:28 
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"OH DEAR, we seem to have leftover STEAKS. We should EAT THEM."

Sounds fucking horrific.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:31 
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The butcher is grinding the meat for me (I don't have a grinder... yet), so it'll be leftover meatball mix. Which is fine -- I'll freeze it -- but I have very little room in my freezer at the moment so I can't go completely nuts.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:33 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
but I have very little room in my freezer at the moment so I can't go completely nuts.

Best to keep your nut to meat ratio as low as possible, IMO.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:41 
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WPOTW


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:43 
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WTB wrote:
WPOTW

Sorry, I should have put something derogatory about mental illness in there. Must try harder.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:15 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
The butcher is grinding the meat for me (I don't have a grinder... yet), so it'll be leftover meatball mix. Which is fine -- I'll freeze it -- but I have very little room in my freezer at the moment so I can't go completely nuts.


Pssht. Buy 1 500g rum steak. Buy 1 1Kg pork shoulder. Cut the pork shoulder in half and wrap one half. Mince the other half with the steak. Take it all home.

I reckon you can find something to do with half a pork shoulder.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:31 
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The butcher has no mincer! Bah.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:42 
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Are you sure he's not a baker? A candlestick maker, perhaps?

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:45 
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How can a butcher have no mincer?


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:49 
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Trooper wrote:
How can a butcher have no mincer?

I'm sure there's an Eastenders joke in there somewhere.

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:08 
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Trooper wrote:
How can a butcher have no mincer?

As they've expanded over the last couple of years, I think they've dedicated most of the back area of their new double-sized shop to hot food prep. (They do a range of roast meat rolls, homemade pasties, cottage pie, chicken curry, jacket potatoes and the like in one shop, with the actual butchery in the other.) But they also moved some of the larger scale actual butchery processes to a premises in a nearby industrial estate, which is also where they run their online shop and wholesale businesses from. So the industrial-grade mincer is over there, not on the premises I go to. Apparently their other, older shop still has one, but this recently refurbished one doesn't.

In the end, I picked up a 2 lb box of minced beef (not steak; 20% fat content, says the butcher) and he hand-diced some pork shoulder to go into it (at an impressive fine level of dice).

I need to buy a mincer.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:10 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
I need to buy a mincer.

Zardoz could probably offer you his services heavily-discounted.

I'm here all week (unfortunately).

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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:14 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Trooper wrote:
How can a butcher have no mincer?

As they've expanded over the last couple of years, I think they've dedicated most of the back area of their new double-sized shop to hot food prep. (They do a range of roast meat rolls, homemade pasties, cottage pie, chicken curry, jacket potatoes and the like in one shop, with the actual butchery in the other.) But they also moved some of the larger scale actual butchery processes to a premises in a nearby industrial estate, which is also where they run their online shop and wholesale businesses from. So the industrial-grade mincer is over there, not on the premises I go to. Apparently their other, older shop still has one, but this recently refurbished one doesn't.

In the end, I picked up a 2 lb box of minced beef (not steak; 20% fat content, says the butcher) and he hand-diced some pork shoulder to go into it (at an impressive fine level of dice).

I need to buy a mincer.


You should start a protest and stand outside with a sign. They'll cave and get a mincer in the refurbished shop, I guarantee it.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:19 
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"What have you got against mincers?"


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:19 
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Trooper wrote:
You should start a protest and stand outside with a sign. They'll cave and get a mincer in the refurbished shop, I guarantee it.
I'd rather buy my own ;)


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:25 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Trooper wrote:
You should start a protest and stand outside with a sign. They'll cave and get a mincer in the refurbished shop, I guarantee it.
I'd rather buy my own ;)


Spoilsport.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:28 
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Trooper wrote:
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Trooper wrote:
You should start a protest and stand outside with a sign. They'll cave and get a mincer in the refurbished shop, I guarantee it.
I'd rather buy my own ;)
Spoilsport.
Also, if they did add one, that might compromise the delicious hot food that I have for lunch 2-3 times a week. And that won't do.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:30 
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I have one big issue with the pulled pork recipe.

"Cut the fat off the meat joint and discard"

Surely this should say

"Cut the fat off the meat joint and use it to make pork scratchings"

How easy is that to do? I assume all I'd need to do is cut it up and, cook it on low, then fry it on high?


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:34 
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I'd usually grill the fat, rather than fry it. I wouldn't cut it up either - snap it up afterwards.

edit: That being said, I have no idea what cut of pork you're talking about.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:37 
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Yeah, it should say that. When I made pulled pork once, the mrs was cleaning up after me, and she threw away the pork fat/skin. I didn't talk to her for about three days.

Scratchings, you want to cover liberally in salt and chill probably overnight, pat dry then cut into strips with a fucking sharp knife. medium oven then deep-fry, ideally.

Crackling, cover liberally in salt and chill overnight. Pat dry, score a lot with a fucking sharp knife. Get more salt into the scores. Roast on high.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:39 
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Trooper wrote:
"Cut the fat off the meat joint and use it to make pork scratchings"
Hmmm. Not sure that would work, as the fat would be saturated with the sauce you've cooked it in. You could cook it off, but it'd still taste barbecue-ish. Which might or might not work.

Worth pointing out that barbecued pulled pork calls for almost all fat to be cut off the outside of the meat, as otherwise a) you can't flavour the meat with a rub and b) you don't form the delectable outer layer of heavily seasoned, smoked crust ("bark", in the parlance). I'm going to attempt a barbecued pulled pork one of these days.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:40 
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My recipe takes the outer fat off before cooking it.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:41 
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Ta, no deep fryer, which is annoying. Mrs T would be livid if I brought home another gadget :D
I could shallow-ish fry in a saucepan though.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:42 
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Craster wrote:
My recipe takes the outer fat off before cooking it.

Ah! I thought you were all on about doing it afterwards. Now I'm right with you. (Except I'm fairly meh about cracking.)


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:42 
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Well, now I'm fairly meh about you.

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GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:44 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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Trooper wrote:
How can a butcher have no mincer?

I'd be more concerned about a butcher using Grindr, personally.


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 Post subject: Re: THE BETEO COOKBOOK
PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 13:45 
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Craster wrote:
Well, now I'm fairly meh about you.

It's just... I dunno. I always feel very faintly queasy about eating lumping great big pieces of animal fat. Something about the texture, I think. Often it tastes good enough to overcome that (bone marrow, sometimes when eating steak, belly pork, some crackling I've had, etc) but sometimes it doesn't, not quite, and I find that offputting.


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