Be Excellent To Each Other

And, you know, party on. Dude.

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Reply to topic  [ 22 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:27 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38667
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:28 
User avatar

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 14380
Location: Shropshire, UK
Pah, it's only a long joke because they've restricted the column width.

It's a great joke though, when you spin it out to half an hour and then finish with the punchline. People want to punch you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 14:34 
User avatar

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 8655
DavPaz wrote:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/


As soon as I read the word desert, I knew what the punchline was going to be. :facepalm:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 15:05 
User avatar
UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55719
Location: California
DavPaz wrote:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

Hah!

_________________
I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:04 
Awesome
User avatar
Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12340
It certainly wasn't http://funniestjokeintheworld.com, but it killed a few minutes, so hooray!

_________________
Always proof read carefully in case you any words out


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:26 
User avatar
Hibernating Druid

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49367
Location: Standing on your mother's Porsche
When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

_________________
SD&DG Illustrated! Behance Bleep Bloop

'Not without talent but dragged down by bass turgidity'


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:30 
User avatar
Sitting balls-back folder

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10175
I read a bit before getting bored and skipping to the end. According to the psyche stuff at the end that means I'm the sort of person who


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:43 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 13th Oct, 2010
Posts: 1818
Location: Welsh Wales
tl;dr. Obviously.

_________________
Twitter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:43 
User avatar
UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55719
Location: California
I read it all, as I have had nothing better to do today.

_________________
I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:44 
User avatar
Hibernating Druid

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49367
Location: Standing on your mother's Porsche
Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

_________________
SD&DG Illustrated! Behance Bleep Bloop

'Not without talent but dragged down by bass turgidity'


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:47 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69725
Location: Your Mum
Zardoz wrote:
When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

They didn't have a section for "adjusted the table width so it wasn't so stupidly thin".

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 16:48 
Awesome
User avatar
Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12340
Grim... wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
When traveling, I tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and I'm not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to my destination. I also tend to be very attentive, patient and a long lasting lover, I enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

They didn't have a section for "adjusted the table width so it wasn't so stupidly thin".


Haar.
"Entered author mode to remove stupid formatting" here.

_________________
Always proof read carefully in case you any words out


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 17:04 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 13th Oct, 2010
Posts: 1818
Location: Welsh Wales
Zardoz wrote:
Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

Good.

_________________
Twitter


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 17:12 
Awesome
User avatar
Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12340
Alarm wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
Alarm wrote:
tl;dr. Obviously.

And that is why I would never sleep with you.

Good.


He wouldn't get much sleeping done anyway.

_________________
Always proof read carefully in case you any words out


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:11 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69725
Location: Your Mum
The joke doesn't really work unless you're an American, either.

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:13 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
I enjoyed it.

Reminded me of this one. I've heard it told better (and more long-winded) though:

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor.

His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg and fracturing his skull.

He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told there was no liability and He could get lost!

You can imagine he was very annoyed with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever.

All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE.

Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face.

Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears.

With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again. He goes back into the bar where the air is now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl.

"That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?"

"No problem", said Joe

"I'm an ex-tractor fan"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:32 
User avatar
chewbacca -future arc welder

Joined: 25th Oct, 2011
Posts: 2655
Location: Kashyyyk
Ouch, that actually hurt my sense of humor. but at least it wasnt so bloody narrow.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 18:34 
User avatar
UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55719
Location: California
It's also unrealistic, as we have a smoking ban in public buildings.

_________________
I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 19:07 
User avatar
Hibernating Druid

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49367
Location: Standing on your mother's Porsche
You're assuming the date of the event is 2007 onwards and that the scene is set within the boundaries of the United Kingdom.

_________________
SD&DG Illustrated! Behance Bleep Bloop

'Not without talent but dragged down by bass turgidity'


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 21:05 
User avatar
UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55719
Location: California
It's a reasonable assumption to make.

_________________
I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 21:18 
User avatar
Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27354
Location: Kidbrooke
When I did Beex Weex, the punch line to this joke was my subtitle.

_________________
We are young despite the years
We are concern
We are hope, despite the times


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Longest Joke in the World
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 0:28 
User avatar

Joined: 12th Apr, 2008
Posts: 17971
Location: Oxfordshire
I was half-expecting the punch line to be
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
THE ARISTOCRATS!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 22 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Columbo, Majestic-12 [Bot] and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search within this thread:
You are using the 'Ted' forum. Bill doesn't really exist any more. Bogus!
Want to help out with the hosting / advertising costs? That's very nice of you.
Are you on a mobile phone? Try http://beex.co.uk/m/
RIP, Owen. RIP, MrC. RIP, Dimmers.

Powered by a very Grim... version of phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.