Be Excellent To Each Other

Not if he invites him in to see his kittens and landmines.

I didn't have time to run downstairs, unfortunately. And I was naked.

I thought he meant mines like in.. Chile..
Which would do the trick, admittedly.

Which would do the trick, admittedly.

What? That AND a trespassing charge? Man.. they're going to throw the book at the kid!

It would. But: children.

Sunday: went for drive with girlfriend and Zioette, as Zioette clearly needed a nap and nothing gets her snoozing like a car journey. Stopped at a drive-thru McDonalds to satisfy Mint Aero McFlurry cravings and the gf noticed a woman sat in the car next to us with a young girl not much older than Zioette on her knee. All very lovely, but the woman was smoking and breathing her fumes directly at the child. No windows were open in the vehicle. The gf got incredibly upset about this and seemed bothered about it for the rest of the day.

Monday night: gf announces that she's 'sick of smoking now'. Pledges to quit. Zio happy.

Tuesday night: gf announces that she's had a smoke-free day and feels very pleased with herself. Zio happy.

Wednesday morning: gf announces urge to kill is rising. Later texts admitting she has smoked a cigarette, but has locked the packet away and will not be retrieving it for the rest of the day. Zio is still happy, though slightly concerned at how close she'll be to 'Tesco Gun Rampage' mode by the time he gets home.

All in all: Zio happy. Thanks, incredibly selfish cow of a woman from McDonalds car park! Let's hope no lasting damage is done to your child!

Say no more.

Just to satisfy Mali's ninja posting skillz - Zioette was asleep in the car. I am not in the business of feeding 15-month old children MaccyD shite. I am in the business of feeding it to myself though. Special baby snacks for Zioette.

Er... quite.

Fuck. I better call my bank manager.

Smear dog shit along the top of your fences.

Yeah, that'll stop her smoking.

Not quite dog shit, but anti vandalism paint will piss them off loads. Plus, it won't make you wretch and heave whilst trying to smear it.

Yeah but dog shit is free.

If you know the right people.

And all this time I've been paying for my dog shit.. I feel like such a fool!

I can supply mini-tiger shit if that helps? The bonus is, the cheaper the food I shove down her, the more rancid the shit she produces!

Hang on... business idea forming...

Is it cheaper than free?

I pay £2 a month for free catshit.

So, we're at that stage again when my gran tries to give me everything she thinks has any value that is in the flat, so that my mother and uncle don't 'get hold' of it when they clean out her house when she dies.

This is really draining me, now. It's not just the physical tiredness but I'm finding it hard being stuck in this constant battle to try and reason with my grandmother. I just feel a tad depressed. I had ¾ of an hour to myself today when they got a relief carer in for me for an hour. I could just about drag myself to the local McDonalds (nothing else close enough to get to) where I had a coffee and listened to some builders describe all the women they imagined they slept with over the weekend (one lad claimed to have had a threesome with two girls and THEN a foursome with another three girls, all stunners. The fact that he looked like a fat chihuahua with a squint seems to have the girls flocking over him.)

Anyway... Am I going on? Sorry. Sometimes I get a bit low. I'll pick myself back up in time.

On the up-side I now am the proud owner of a giant 25p coin (which HAS indeed increased in value to the grand sum of £1.50)



I'm going to keep it as a weapon.

Why doesn't your Gran just change her will?

(hug)

That is quite the currency.

I think because I have been given grief my whole life from my uncle. To be honest my Nan doesn't actually have much of value, but there are things that my uncle wants - tea service, table, etc, that she wants to give to me before the fact so that slowly the flat empties and I don't get the inevitable fall-out after the fact.

The thing is, I don't WANT this stuff - it is just stuff. She wouldn't not let me take the jeweller as uncle's wife would be all over it like a rash (she really would, and I don't wear jewelery), but tea-services, etc are things I can't transport anyway. I have accepted my grandad's binoculars because though they are probably worthless they kind of mean a lot to me. We'd spend hours watching sea-birds off the cliffs where we used to live when I was young.

It's just tiring me out, though. Probably because it keeps making me cry, and that makes me feel exhausted.

It needs a whole handbag of it's own.

It doesn't fit in my little owl purse, even.

eBay, then?

I'll never understand how wills can affect families so much.

<looks at 26inch flat screen tv in the study>

No, me neither.

If you need help transporting stuff, I'm close enough to London and occasionally go up north, Mimi.

Because some people very specifically think that they are somehow 'owed' a share of something, even if they don't really want, deserve or need it. I always find it is those that are the most well-off to start with that get all snatchy and put-out when they don't get what they want.

When my grandad passed away I asked only for his glasses and this silly stress ball her used to have to exercise his hand, because they are what he used to see the would through and something he'd also hold in his hand all the time. I guess that's part of why I'll enjoy the old, beat-up binoculars. Hopefully Craig and I can visit Fenham Carr woodlands in Williamson park one day, so I can take them bird-spotting again.

@Mali thankyou, Lovely. There really isn't anything big I want, though. The little things that actually mean something I can manage - these binoculars are the largest thing that mean anything personal. Really, they can enjoy bickering among themselves at that time. I doubt I'll be seeing anything of my uncle, etc when the time comes that Nan is no longer with us.

Anyway, jeez, sorry, I am being a miserable beggar. Best pull myself out of it somehow.

Might make some mashed potato. Mashed potato always helps, doesn't it?

With baked beans to make a lumpy volcano and brocolli for the trees.

To recreate Pompeii, use Jelly babies.

My siblings and I have a ritual that whenever anyone leaves us any money we have a night out in their memory; the three of us with our spouses, and go out and get hammered and eat lovely food in a nice restaurant.

And that normally gets rid of anything they might have been foolish enough to leave us!

@mimi

that is mega depressing. Thankfully my family arent bastards (not saying yours are, just compared to other stories of people coveting items from the elderly) and noone really has any "designs" on my Nan's stuff. We are all fairly realistic that she doesnt have decades left (being 87, and in and out of hospital for various things) but she still has her marbles and hasnt managed to break a hip or other such badness (fingers crossed, this seems to be the bane of the elderly, my other grandmother having done both - one while recovering from the first broken hip in hospital due to incompetent/ negligent staff and now lives in a care home as she lost her mind and all her posessions went towards paying for that).

When the inevitable does happen Ive been made aware that I will almost certainly inherit a piano.
Lovely and all, but again frankly I have no space for it, and dont play. Still, im the most musical of the family and liked to bash on it as a kid, so I've someone had my name put on it.

Altogether depressing though.
Ive got enough clutter now that I feel maybe I need a will.

*Whips out contract and pen* The Beex server fund thanks you for your generosity.

Can't Wills be contested?

I'll try and cut a long story short but one of my dads friends seperated from his wife and went to live with another woman for a good number of years.

When he died, the other woman didn't have any rights to his estate as he was still technically married and because he hadn't written a will, there was nothing the woman could do.

Which makes me think.. I should write a will. I'm a homeowner and married and I'm positive my family wouldn't fall out... but I would like to see my games collection go to a good home.

Yes, but I think you have to have a pretty good case.

That one you talked about sounds solid, though.

I would advise people to make sure that they do have a will, and try to keep it up to date.

It's not too expensive to do, and fairly straightforward. Don't forget the myth of the common law wife and that marriage will normally cancel any wills present.

It's also a good idea to stick funeral wishes into a will, as it makes things easier for those left behind, as they don't have to agonise over it all, and if leaving money to friends put something like "I leave £3,000 to Grim... in appreciation of his friendship, kindness and support over the years" as that makes them less sad than "£3,00 to Grim...". Other things to think about are making sure you have the stuff to give away, adding in extra bits to make the executor's life a bit easier and to keep young people from having shitfucktons of cash too early on and contingency plans, in the example above, if Grim.. were to predecease the will writer.

Giving stuff away means that they are potentially exempt from inheritance tax, but only if it the donor lasts 7 years from the gift. Otherwise the value is taxed (although how long ago it was given does change this). The nil rate band for tax purposes changes every now and again, so keep an eye on that, and spouses can use each others nil-rate bands if one predeceases and so forth.

Wills can be contested 6 months after the death of the person whose will it is*. If you want to do this, you've got to fit into one of 6 categories and, basically, need that shit a lot more than the person who got it. The six categories are fairly closley defined and the court decides if you are worth it.

*It can be more than 6 months but this is unusual as you'd better have a fucking damn good reason as to why the application is late.

I think wills are my favorite bit of law, you know.

Some one at work just spoke with a client who's email address is Pikeybadboy"at"hotmail.com

"Mad Props" to MaliA for the informative legal facts today btw

Where were the other beex lawyers, eh?

My old email address was pimpninjalawyer"at"hotmail.com

It's so true though.

You know in Agatha Christie stories, when young Charlie bumps off rich uncle Rupert so he can inherit and pay off his gambling debts, but is found out, does the will still stand? Or is there a special "murderers will be disinherited" clause in probate law?

That's the email address I still use for you (not that I email you very often, but, well, you know). Why'd you ditch it?

You're not allowed to benefit from your crimes.

So, if you're thinking of this, I'd advise not bumping anyone off on a train when there's an inquisitive wizzened old crone aboard.

Can you do one for me

Someone should tell this to thieves... That'll stop them.

If I were insured against my making some error, then yes.

As it stands, no.

A chum I used to work with lived with his father, in his father's house, right up until the point he died. He was a frail fellow in his later years and my chum worked part-time in order to spend the rest of the time caring for him.

Incredibly, despite being clearly in a bad way, the guy never left a will. So when he died, the house and everything in it was divided equally between my chum and his nephew (his brother had died himself a few years previously). As the nephew was in his early teens, control passed to his mother, my chum's sister-in-law, who promptly decided to be an incredible bitch about it. She immediately took legal action to force the house to be sold, thus having my chum evicted and left with very little time to find somewhere else to live. Obviously he did get half of the money once the property sold, but he did have to cope with the stress of finding somewhere else to live before getting his hands on that cash and the stress of actually moving, whilst still dealing with the grief from the very recent death of his father.

Up till then, he'd got on very well with his sister-in-law and often spent a lot of time with his nephew. I'm fairly certain they don't speak anymore.

So yeah: wills. Important.

I can't remember, to be honest. I had an AOL account which I started using instead for personal but serious things, like job applications (dno't really want to be sending out my CV under the pimp one), and I guess I just kept using that one for everything.