Be Excellent To Each Other

A quick win for my company would be to get a fact sheet sent out to our clients detailing ways to survive the bad weather. The trouble is, I've got to write it!

So far I've nicked Grim's... car advice, wrote something about checking your business insurance in case the worse happens and informing people if you do have to close down.

Anyone got any other ideas on what they would suggest to businesses to survive the bad weather? I'm trawling Google as we speak but any help would be muchly appreciated!

Eat the fatties first, as they represent the greatest threat to your food supply. Spray a fire extinguisher in their face to disorient them, then use the base to stove their heads in.

Tractors, lots of tractors.

Make sure you have plans in place for contacting all your staff to tell them about things like building closures.

1 - Seek advice on how to cope with winter weather at some point before midwinter.

Get Craster to make all employees feel guilty as hell.

Grit everything.

DON'T GIVE IN TO HITLER

Stick together at all times; don't lose sight of anyone. Help each other out if anyone gets injured - don't keep your health packs to yourself. If one person gets pinned, help them immediately - you need everyone working together as a team.

And DON'T STARTLE THE WITCH.

Put up those shitty 'keep calm and carry on' posters all over the fucking place

I appreciate all the advice but I think Malia is winning in making me laugh so far!

Seriously, there's some good ones here! I've included the "informing staff bit" and as a closing paragraph I'm going to include this line



To make people feel bad.

Kendal. Mintcake. Done.

And don't eat the yellow snow.

Institute a snow "drill" several times during the year, which is to involve stopping work to gather around the windows and stare out, repeatedly refresh the traffic cameras causing the network to crash, and then leave early to add to the chaos.

Also throw handfuls of semolina at each other.

My boss got the 'Keep Calm and Carry on' one framed on his office wall before they got big. When I get promoted, I'll have the office next to him and I was going to get 'Now Panic and Freak out' one hanging in the same place (relatively, obv).

Rock salt and road grit can be purchased from DIY stores and farming suppliers cheaply. Buy some and put it in storage. I often found that when I worked for (not ITV -ED) it wasn't the 30 mile drive that was the problem but our lethal ice rink of a car park.

I've actually included this from your tip the other day! I've even said about it being in the way in Summer.. hope you don't mind!

My mate Sue got that 'Keep Calm... etc.' poster before it got huge. Now she is because her prized, framed, looks-nice-on-wall bedroom print has been run doggedly into the ground. And she really likes wartime chic too.

I only discovered the "keep calm.." poster a few months ago and thought it looked pretty cool. Then everyone else got one, including my bosses boss, so I think I'll stick with my faded poster of Sonic.

Telecommute, telecommute, telecommute! This is easier now than ever before, what with IP Telephony, broadband at home, VPNs etc. etc.

The grit my place ordered before christmas still hasn't turned up, so the few people who do drive in get stuck in the car park.

I'm kind of sure there is a minimum legal temperature for an office. Dunno offhand what it is tho, but thats possibly an important Business Fact (tm)

16 degrees c or 13 if doing physical labour