Be Excellent To Each Other

Heh. I still proudly remember opening my results to find I had everything from A to D, as well as a Q and an X. Still takes me a good ten minutes to remember which ones I actually did (in my defence, I was doing 13), mind. And I'm far more proud of the X than the As. I didn't even know such a mark existed until then.

I've got 8 'o' levels

That's a first class degree from Oxford in new money.

What the fuck is a 'Q' grade?

You must tell us about the war some time.

Wasn't an 'X' either 'didn't turn up' or 'unmarkable', implying you smeared poo all over the paper or something?

Well we got the hump with Iceland about Cod and then not much happened other than dodgems with ships. We had the last laugh though when Bennett wrote that song about it.

Yes.

That's what I said!

Disappointingly, it turned out to mean "query", meaning there was some sort of delay (mine was the only one in the school, though. Presumably it was my handwriting, or possibly they were debating whether or not to award extra marks for drawing cartoon snails in the margins, as had become a low-level protest tactic against our god-awful teacher's idiotic tests in year 10). I wound up with a B. Not bad considering my coursework consisted of one side of A4 I was forced to write at lunch two weeks after the deadline.

I still think that the Q reflects the mark I truly deserved.

It's "No result". I refused to go to the exam, and they instead made me do it at the end of the day, after another exam. I protested, then sat down with the paper, flicked through it, and put my hand up. My (thoroughly, brilliantly excellent) old history teacher came over and asked what was wrong.

I explained that I could probably answer about two thirds of these pretty well, but as I'd had no teacher for nine months, and a senile lunatic who locked himself in cupboards and talked about rolls royce cars all day instead of teaching us for the remainder, I'd be buggered if I was going to. He looked very pissed off (not at me, I clarify), then gave a little smile and said to sign the paper and go. So, I did.

I think I put a quick note to the examiner explaining that the rest was blank to save time, but I only vaguely remember that, and possibly that was something else that happened in the mocks.

You're still my hero for doing that, chap.

At this precise moment? Me

6 A* and 3 A, for the record.

Yeah, but yours spell out A*A*A*A*A*A*AA. Zardoz's spell out EE. He's clearly a proper northerner.

7 Bs, 2 Cs.

Didn't care too much, and got the shit kicked out of me* the day before my exams started. Did quite well, all things considered.


*the eye-socket incident.

Of course, they've become easier.

I never made Grade 1 on the piano.

I made grade 1, but never made Grade 2.

Any advance?

Ooh, I can beat this! I went in to actual labour in 1 of my English exams. Talk about distracting! Then I did a chemistry 1 in the maternity unit and then my last English exam when the baby was 2 weeks old.
GCSEs are easier than having babies.

Christ! What did you do that for?

I was still a virgin come my GCSEs. Hoorah.

I did GCSEs before they had A*. I got an A, 6 Bs and 2 Cs I was really disappointed with my A, and most proud of my 2 Cs.

Malc

I think I got 1A*, 3 A, 5/6 B, 1 D.

D was in german where I did no work for 2 years, and the teacher let us cheat on the oral exam.

Jesus! You'd think they could at least canvass outside the school gates instead.

My results were directly proportional to how much course work was required. The more coursework, the lower the grade.

For teh lolz.

Don't try it at home kids, it's really not advisable....also, pay attention in biology.

Well played, you bastard, well played.

I'm looking forward to hitting 3000 now

3000 posts? How many notches can you record on one post? And how can you still be a virgin after that many notches!

Malc

I have no idea what you lot are talking about now. Matters could only get worse if sparrows turn up.

I'm going to go back to fighting chimps.

For the record I got 3 B's and 3 C's in other subjects then went on to get a ND (distinction) in Art & Design then a 2.1(Hons) Degree in Graphic Arts and Design. And a diploma in shut the fuck up you nerd.

Same here. I handed in first drafts for most of my coursework, some of them massively over-deadline. I aced the exams, though.

I didn't get any GCSEs as I didn't go to school. Went to college and got a GNVQ Business Studies with distinction, BTEC Computer Studies with distinction, and then a 2:2 degree in Internet Technologies at Uni. Then I garotted Rodafowa with my floppy cock shaft while I shitted the biggest shit in the world.

Do you have a hot key set up to write that phrase?

No. It's at room temperature.

Macro.

Costco.

If I'd been given the choice, I would have taken no coursework (besides the creative writing one that no fucker told me was even an option, even after I spent my every bloody lesson ignoring the teacher and jotting down little bits of dialogue and prose, with the occasional cartoon, for two years. Idiots) for anything, and done only exams. It would probably have bumped at least three or four of my grades up, too.

I always took the coursework at GCSE and A-Level, and always chose the lengthier essay assignments over the exams at uni, because I typically transform into a huge quivering fudd in exam halls and only manage to knock out two or three sides of writing in a whole shitting hour.

I graduated with a first, but it almost certainly would have been much lower if there had been no choice in the matter.

Yeah, I wasted a lot of time doing useless qualifications too.

Graphic design can be a bit of a money-spinner, surely. It's not exactly glam, but it's solid.

No. Because then all the other 'fail'-users can employ that as a loophole. I'd rather nobody used it as a noun.

Exam-markers can just drop the old-person text-speak, and opt for 'you have failed'.

I saw a sign for 'Mimis Nail Salon' in Crewe, but I was driving so couldn't take a picture.

I don't remember or care about my exam results

You say that, but even I would probably crack a smile if my exam results came back as "wtf?"

It keeps me in games, real ale and curry. I love what I do it suits me fine, I wasn't moaning at all. I was just saying that what I didn't get good grades in at high school I went on to study further and now it's how I make a living, that's all.

That and the handjobs.

Well that goes without saying.

Oh look, it's crunch time now!

Yeah, and I was calling it a waste of a life

I think Sinister's comments were more a defence of you if anything.

In that case I shall anoint him.

*splashes liquid about*

From henceforth Sinister Agent, you shall be called Champion of Zardozville.

Taken on the way home tonight...

I read that as "Dicks 4 Myp". Sounds about right.

Envy you in your 231bhp car doing no miles per hour