Be Excellent To Each Other

So... Ridley Scott is on-board for the big screen A-Team remake. This got me thinking.. who on earth would you cast in each role?

This is as updated as I want to see the A-Team:



i.e the final season of the original series. They'll just ruin it, see Starsky & Hutch and The Avengers.

Well, one of the people will be a girl (I wonder if they'll get Katee Sachoff to play Face?), Hanibal will be black, BA will be camp and Murdoch will be played by Jim Carey.

Malc

Hannibal will be Anthony Hopkins fo' sho', foo'.

Samuel L as BA. Failing that, Ving Rhames.

Seems as good a time as any to post this:

Casting Katee Sackhoff as Murdoch would cause Dirk Benedict to explode. I approve.

I'd cast the tired franchise down a well.

I'd rather see a docusoap on The B Team: the life and times of the A Team's stunt doubles.

They should black up Ross Kemp to play BA, Elton John could play the colonel, Peter Andre could play face and our very own Meaty Angle could play the nutty one.

It's going to be shit, why pretend otherwise

Brad Pitt as Face, Angelina Jolie as the new Howling Mad Murdoch (cos Brad won't make a film without her), George Clooney as Hannibal, Will Smith in a body suit as B.A

Job done

They should do a "real time" A-Team, with it being 20 years after the series. Morgan Freeman as BA, Hannibal is dead, Peter O'Toole as Face and Jim Broadbent as Murdoch.

But who's going to play demolitions expert member Frankie "Dishpan" Santana, eh? He was the best one!

Genius!

Hannibal - Alan Titchmarsh
Face - Richard Hammond
Murdoch - Michael Barrymore
BA - Ainsley Harriot

Clooney has to be Hannibal. But in that case you couldn't have Brad Pitt in it because the two of them together generate a field of such densely concentrated smugness it could result in the universe imploding (or Ocean's Twelve, which is slightly worse), which leaves a bit of a problem finding a Face. BA is also an issue - you can't just have someone do a Mr. T impression because that would be bollocks. To be honest, all you really need for that character is a) muscles and b) grumpiness. So I'd go a slightly off-the-wall route and have Huge Ackman as BA, with my Mandated Movie Ethnic Minority Quota filled by Will Smith as the Faceman. A mate of mine always described Murdock as "You're not mad, you're not funny, you're just annoying", which means he's the character that Will "Robin Williams For The 21st Century" Ferrell was born to play.

I'd also have Michael Wincott playing Colonel Lynch/Dekker/Whoever, because he's got one of the all-time great Hollywood Villain Voices and deserves the work.

This is something I've devoted far too much time to thinking about over the years.

I find your lack of a female cast member worrying and discriminatory.

Where are the tits, man? Think of the ratings. The poor nerds won't have anything to oggle.

I'm so glad I've finally met someone else who doesn't find Will Ferrell funny.

I find him totally MEH same with Adam Sandlar tbh

Malc

I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who *does*.

Close escape in Burn After Reading then. Pitt and Clooney are in that. The way they get around the universe imploding thing is novel.



No one has answered my question yet. Who replaces the 5th team member Frankie "Dishpan" Santana?

(I watched A-Team the other night and was astonished to find this guy in it. He was a full on part of the team and in the face-credits and everything. It was as if I'd tuned into Star Trek and Picard was asking his third lieutenant Bunky Charley on the bridge for advice and then sharing a joke with him, as if he'd always been there, as a main crew member, and I'd just never seen him before. Apparently Frankie "Dishpan" Santana was in 13 episodes, before it got cancelled. Unlucky for some.)

BA should be played by Richard Branson.

Oh no, wait, they have been!

I have had some new thoughts. Why not use the Wire cast, everybody else seems to be doing it.

So

Hannibal - The head of CID
Face - The Irish detective dude
Mr T - Bringing in the Sheep (no muscles but a definite superhero)
Howling Mad Murdoch - Bubbles

Once again, I see Rodafowa is stealing my opinions (regarding Will Ferrell) instead of getting his own. Perhaps he's actually me?

Hannibal - George Clooney
Face - Will Smith
BA - The Rock
Murdoch - Jim Carrey

Which head of CID? There's been a couple.



Who?

Hannibal - Craster
Face - myp
BA - Mr Chris
Murdoch - The Gaywood

Also covers the requirement for tits.

I think it's Omar. He whistles it, doesn't he?

Anchorman is awesome you fagz.

Ah yes, that makes sense.

Anchorman is awesome (I actually pulled a muscle laughing at the "I'm in a glass box of EMOTION!" scene). Blades Of Glory isn't bad. The returns rapidly diminish from there on out.

See also: Carrey, Jim.

And, @ Curio: The Rock is a great call for BA.

Plus his Saturday Night Live stuff is fucking atrocious.

Not a patch on the Mighty Boosh eh Myps?

Saturday Night Live is like Seinfeld - I feel it's somehow my fault that I don't find it funny.

Dimrill.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like that. Are you sure you're Gaywood and not me?

Final season revamp IIRC. See the revamped credits I posted which sees the team escape from the military prison for the crime they did not commit..

If you don't find Seinfeld funny than it *is* your fault. You're irretrievably broken.

I feel like I should find it funny—and I appreciate it's very clever—but my mouth just doesn't make the 'ha ha' noises.

This. Plus, loads of people who I find really funny find it really funny. I've tried to like it, God knows how I've tried.

Thank fuck for that. You're very wrong, Seinfeld is the best American sitcom of all time, and at least I have my sense of identity back.

Not really. Now you're very nearly as WRONG as Mr Chris.

I'm also not that fond of bacon, if that helps?

I'm not as obsessed with bacon as my blog suggests. I quite like eating it but I've never felt the need to weave it. My audience, however, is obsessed - my bacon posts get the most comments, and bacon related topics get emailed to me now. I have no idea what that's all about, but I'm not knocking the hits!

Maybe you need to create a solely bacon based blog. The potential audience for bacon based reviews, news and editorial is HUGE.

porkmysnack.co. oh that's just wrong.

I have this very minute received a bacon-related email to blog. I'm not making this up.

I agree, but he was the Jar Jar Binks of Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.